Lighthouse

Even if he’s crap, that’s not even Mayuka money in today’s market. Even so, he should be able to hurdle the pathetically low bar set by Theo, Redmond, Tella and Djenepo.

Why? Nobody said that would be the end of our window. To me that sounds like two excellent signings and one promising young player.

Maybe it’s just me but they both sound like parts of the female anatomy in some language.

There’s a ridiculous new EE advert, which I’ve just seen on TV this evening. The sheer tone deaf, ignorance of this is genuinely quite a slap in the face. Had a look on Twitter and everyone is piling in, can’t imagine it’ll be around long.

Nah, he's the Nigerian Skacel.

Sue, I’m not saying you’re to blame for all of this, far from it, but whenever this is posted it sets off an alarm at SWF HQ. I think we’ve jumped the shark as far as the main board goes. If anyone needs to discuss their repressed, sexual rage, we have a thread in the Lounge.

Don’t f**k with the ultras at a badminton tournament.

I’d love it if some team gave their #1 jersey to a midfielder or something. Just to mess with all the anal pedants out there.

It would make for a surreal open casket funeral, I’ll give you that.

Which is basically my point; for a sustained period we’ve been painfully reliant on some thoroughly mediocre players.

Jam on first or clotted cream?

The difference being that their signings need to be as good as Phillips and Raphinha, whereas ours only need to be a bit better than Forster, Bednarek and Diallo.

Join the Club.

I tried that joke a few days ago, it didn’t fly.

Sounds like agent talk to me.

I thought Simeu was the insane signing? Besides, the politically correct term is ‘mentally hilarious’.

To me it screams ‘seventies bathroom Lino’. Ghastly creation.

Some Glamorgan bowler has just been slapped for 31 and it’s not even the worst of the day.

I wondered this a couple of times and decided he was just too dull and tedious for me to care.

The first half of our innings I thought we’d be lucky to make a hundred and be beaten inside 12 overs. Thankfully; 1 - Fuller and 2 - Didn’t we bowl. I guess with our NRR it’s going to be down to Hawks/Essex for third.

It's possible we said that as a favour to him, makes his position stronger when negotiating with other clubs.

There's no questioning his character as a player and the effort he's put in on the pitch, or that he gave us one of our most prized memories at Anfield but seriously... thank f**k he's leaving. He's a bottom half Championship player at best and the soundbites around, "being a great lad in the dressing room," and, "a useful asset to bring on and see out a game," have worn through the underlay and into the floorboards.

Women who constantly post things like “throwback Thursday,” and, “wedding dress challenge,” on social media. It’s not a challenge, you’re just fishing for likes and compliments but you’re not as pretty as you used to be, so you’re using photos from ten years ago. Grow up.

Our starting XI next season will likely have KWP, Perraud, Salisu, JWP, Romeu, Armstrong and Adams as a bare minimum. Even if we have Baz, ABK and two more young players making up the numbers, that’s a perfectly adequate blend of youth and experience. We’ll still have McC, Willy, Stephens, Redmond and Walcott, amongst others, in reserve if needs be.

We’re in pretty dangerous autocorrect territory, what with V and B being right next to each other on the keyboard. I look forward to the live commentary updates on someone, "going in hard on Labia."