Lighthouse

I’d love it if some team gave their #1 jersey to a midfielder or something. Just to mess with all the anal pedants out there.

It would make for a surreal open casket funeral, I’ll give you that.

Which is basically my point; for a sustained period we’ve been painfully reliant on some thoroughly mediocre players.

Jam on first or clotted cream?

The difference being that their signings need to be as good as Phillips and Raphinha, whereas ours only need to be a bit better than Forster, Bednarek and Diallo.

Join the Club.

I tried that joke a few days ago, it didn’t fly.

Sounds like agent talk to me.

I thought Simeu was the insane signing? Besides, the politically correct term is ‘mentally hilarious’.

To me it screams ‘seventies bathroom Lino’. Ghastly creation.

Some Glamorgan bowler has just been slapped for 31 and it’s not even the worst of the day.

I wondered this a couple of times and decided he was just too dull and tedious for me to care.

The first half of our innings I thought we’d be lucky to make a hundred and be beaten inside 12 overs. Thankfully; 1 - Fuller and 2 - Didn’t we bowl. I guess with our NRR it’s going to be down to Hawks/Essex for third.

It's possible we said that as a favour to him, makes his position stronger when negotiating with other clubs.

There's no questioning his character as a player and the effort he's put in on the pitch, or that he gave us one of our most prized memories at Anfield but seriously... thank f**k he's leaving. He's a bottom half Championship player at best and the soundbites around, "being a great lad in the dressing room," and, "a useful asset to bring on and see out a game," have worn through the underlay and into the floorboards.

Women who constantly post things like “throwback Thursday,” and, “wedding dress challenge,” on social media. It’s not a challenge, you’re just fishing for likes and compliments but you’re not as pretty as you used to be, so you’re using photos from ten years ago. Grow up.

Our starting XI next season will likely have KWP, Perraud, Salisu, JWP, Romeu, Armstrong and Adams as a bare minimum. Even if we have Baz, ABK and two more young players making up the numbers, that’s a perfectly adequate blend of youth and experience. We’ll still have McC, Willy, Stephens, Redmond and Walcott, amongst others, in reserve if needs be.

We’re in pretty dangerous autocorrect territory, what with V and B being right next to each other on the keyboard. I look forward to the live commentary updates on someone, "going in hard on Labia."

I agree on the striker issue but I wouldn't say there was much danger of the BIB. The young players we have been signed are by all accounts very highly rated and will hopefully be a big improvement on their predecessors. The Poortvleit season was basically building a team around players like Vokins, Harry Lewis, Valery, Obafemi and N'Lundulu, then telling everyone it was some sort of wonder team of totaal voetbal.

You'd have thought he'd be back in time for the start of the season, even if he's not 100% match fit. Bone fractures tend to be fairly definitive in their recovery time and not the sort of thing which would take twice as long, seemingly without reason. Even if he wasn't I wouldn't be unduly concerned. None of our options is exactly ideal but they're not disastrous either. I'd be hoping to start seeing more of Small this season in any case,

All quiet on the Long front. I believe it’s today that the contracts expire so perhaps we’ll here some news before too long.

Oh come on, he’s funny. Like Mr Burns has come to life.

Rooney, for England.

Long, Walcott, Stephens, Redmond and Bednarek all have bags of experience. I’m sick of experience. The players who’ve flattered to deceive didn’t do so because of a lack of experience. It’s because they aren’t good enough. They could all be here until they’re 35 and still be useless.

Yeah, that was just plain weird. I think this is Boris attempting wokeness to try and take some of the heat off but I don’t think he’s pulled it off too well.