Dog Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 (edited) I have fallen face down and put my arm down a Turkish squat toilet outside the Ayia Sophia which had 30+ big red co_ckroaches and a fat black rat which was darting in and out of the overflow pipe to feed on all the undigested iskender kebab that bobbed in the foul smelling water, complete with the hundreds of mosquitos that were dancing around the 60w light bulb. No toilet roll to wipe, just a meter of hosepipe and a plastic jug, beauuuutiful!! Edited 19 July, 2010 by Dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackFrost Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 haven't visited a particularly bad one in a long time. Had a malfunctioning one at an office i used to work at which didn't flush properly. I remember once having a wee, flushed it and a turd appeared in the pan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 Glastonbury. Nuf' said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 Glastonbury. Nuf' said +1 Went into one of the portaloos this year and somebody had diahorrea'd literally all over the entire place. The seat was completely brown, it was dripping down onto the floor and there were sh1tty handsmears on the inside of the door and the sides. Stank to high heaven. Needless to say, I chose to go to the long drops instead! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 DYO - Dig your own Not good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbul Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 Glastonbury. Nuf' said +1. Do all your bombing early days otherwise I've seen 'em full to overflowing. BLEEEEURGH. But also the old bogs at Elm Park..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latter day saint Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 DYO - Dig your own Not good more so if when camping you forget where you have previously DYO & step on/in it, resulting in a geyser of s hite splattering up your leg can also remember at a rave,it had been raining a lot & a row of portaloo's slid down a slope depositing people & s hite in a interesting mess at the bottom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackFrost Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 The Dell whenever there was heavy rain during a match Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrollman no2 Posted 19 July, 2010 Share Posted 19 July, 2010 Iwas caught short once while in India. I was on a beach and had just ordered some fresh fish from this little bar/cafe place,then i had a very strong urge to use the toilet,so asked the owner of the bar if i could use his(all bars had their own private loos).He led me to a shack made from cardboard and palm leafs.Inside on a small heap of sand was a single toilet , no seat and without any pumbling.I sat on this fly ridden thing doing what i had to while the owner stood by the palm leaf door,holding it open for everyone to see.There was a single loo roll about five feet away,so when i tired to reach it,the loo fell over. After i had finished,i passed the area where they were preraing my food(about two feet away) and that was also covered in flies. Needless to say i didnt eat there after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint lard Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 (edited) Redback tavern,Acton,any saturday or sunday night gauranteed. It was just a short swim to and from the urinals. Fell asleep on the floor in one of the cubicals once,when i woke it was like someone had poured a bucket of warm water over me. Edited 20 July, 2010 by saint lard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 Fratton Park. Case closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 Stonehenge festival, pre erction of fences. Now that WAS a festival to remember (or not) if you know what I mean. All hell's angels and naked hippies and men selling 'dots' from ice cream vans and taking a dump sihouetted on a hill against a beatiful sunset. oh yeah, and the stones, of course the stones are good karma too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
for_heaven's_Saint Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 Worst toilet I've ever visited? Portsmouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scummer Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 All toilets in France. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 20 July, 2010 Author Share Posted 20 July, 2010 Fenerbahce football club september 1990, no toilet door, no bog roll, 200+ fans watching, throwing up with the smell and sh*t stains so I pooped on the terraces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 Worst toilet I ever visited was at a weird club in Brighton. No lock on the door, no bog roll, no toilet seat, just the metal of the bowl which was caked in puke and shyte stains, the floor about two inches deep in urine, and I chose that moment to have the squits. I squatted, let the watery wrath of god fly out of me, used my handkerchief and socks to clean up, threw the whole lot out the window behind the toilet and ran like buggery back to my hotel room to clean up. I sincerely hope nobody was below that window, they,d have been scarred for life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marsdinho Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 Glastonbury has to be up there for me.. Heard a story when I was out in India, some chap needed to do a mud at night and walked into the communal toilet designed for use by the whole village. He thought the toilet floor was covered in in shat so pulled his trousers up and went to tip toe accross the floor to the toilet. What he didnt realise is that he had in fact mistaken the ses pit for the toilet (which was next door) and the shat over the floor was in fact the solids that had floated to the top. he took a step in and ended up neck deep in ****e.... had to have stomach pumped and spent 4 weeks in hospital. Could be an urban myth though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Durleyfos Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 The Springbok Bar in Shepherds Bush. Think of the toilet in Trainspotting, then mulitply by 100. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THINWHITEDUKE Posted 20 July, 2010 Share Posted 20 July, 2010 Anyone tried the toilet in The Queen Anne in Vauxhall? I tried and decided to squat in the street outside, much more hygenic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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