Jump to content

The SWF Awards 2011

SuperMikey

By SuperMikey,
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

SuperMikey

SuperMikey

Posted
Posted

It's nearly the end of the year, and now is the time to look back and reflect on the year we have all experienced on this forum. There have been highs, there have been lows, and there have been arguments.

 

Please cast your votes soon so I can get the medals engraved before Saturday.

 

Best Poster:

Worst Poster:

Most Missed:

Best Banning:

Biggest Stereotype:

Biggest Mouth:

Liberal of the Year:

Right-Winger of the Year:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JackFrost

JackFrost

Posted
Posted
It's nearly the end of the year, and now is the time to look back and reflect on the year we have all experienced on this forum. There have been highs, there have been lows, and there have been arguments.

 

Please cast your votes soon so I can get the medals engraved before Saturday.

 

Best Poster:

Worst Poster:

Most Missed:

Best Banning:

Biggest Stereotype:

Biggest Mouth:

Liberal of the Year:

Right-Winger of the Year:

 

Best Poster: anothersaintinsouthsea

Worst Poster: corp ho

Most Missed: davebensonphillips

Best Banning: don't know

Biggest Stereotype: dune

Biggest Mouth: corp ho

Liberal of the Year: bridge too far

Right-Winger of the Year: dune

Link to comment
Share on other sites
saintscottofthenortham

saintscottofthenortham

Posted
Posted (edited)

More categories as I could see multiple nominees for awards, so let's spread it out a bit.

 

Here are some potential categories with a few of my mentions:

 

Member of the Year (overall): Hypo's pretend girlfriend Natasha.

Thread of the Year (overall): Pompey Takeover Saga for me. So much effort goes into that place.

Moderator of the Year (overall): Clark. Displayed exactly why the police were so wrong to chuck him out at the first hurdle.

Best/Worst Post (overall): Worst: Dalek still trying to convince himself we will finish 17th after seeing off Hull at end of November.

Funniest Post: Crab Lungs assault on the Cherries.

Best/Worst Avatar: Best: [/b]Shurlock (Harry behind bars) Worst: No comment, Hypo will label me obsessed again.

Best/Worst Thread Title: Best: When Draino76 had an accident... http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?31700-When-I-went-to-to-the-toilet-I-accidentally-cr-apped-on-my-work-shirt.&highlight=accidentally+apped

Best/Worst Response to a Troll:

Best/Worst Troll: [/b]Worst: Dalek

Best/Worst Arguing: Turkish tries to argue with me then tries to get me to meet up with him. Just have not got the heart to tell him I'm all but married with kids.

Best/Worst Use of Facepalm:

Biggest Postwhore: Dune, hands down winner.

Funniest Member:

Most Intelligent Member:

Meanest/Nicest Member: Meanest: Gemmel, spiteful b*tch. Nicest: Pfft.

Most/Least Helpful Member: Least: Windmill Arms 2 - For his relentless testosterone fuelled attacks on people in the most mundane of threads.

Most Clueless Member:

Most Insane Member: MLG. I reckon he's actually mental.

Most Deserved Ban:

Most Deserving of a Ban:

Most Missed: SRS - for all the wrong reasons

Worst Saints Web Article Writer: Colinjb. For those asking, we should be getting an article from him for the JPT Trophy final this week.

Edited by saintscottofthenortham
I got the imaginary name of Hypo's imaginary girlfriend wrong. FFS.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Turkish

Turkish

Posted
Posted

Best Poster: Dune

Worst poster: Too many to mention

Know it all teenager: Saintandy666 (sorry Mikey, lost it this year)

The been there done that award: Dubai Phil

forum angry retirement of the year: Bexy for her premenstal rant

Pedant of the year: MLG

The why say it in 10 words when 1000 will do award: Franks Cousin

The next stop Broodmoor award for maddest poster: Verbal

Best attempt at a lookalike: Baj for his attempts at Serge from Kasabian

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dune

dune

Posted
Posted

There are several good posters on here: Colinjb, Jonnybognor, jackanorysfc, kaiser soze, colinjb, jrm, turkish, griffo, and all the regulars on the match thread such as dubai phil and his ex pat friends. Turkish wins hands down though especially on the main board.

 

We need to include an ex pat of the year nomination in it's own right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Turkish

Turkish

Posted
Posted

Thanks for your nomination i am honoured.

 

Pensioner of the year: Has to be BTF.

Funniest Nickname: Dune for being called Prune, June and Dunce. (LMFAO)

Logical reasonist of the year: Wes Ender for his - we can fill a 50,000 seater stadium because they said man would never walk on the moon

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jack

Jack

Posted
Posted

Best rant by a Saints fan 2011:

 

Dear Bucket Rattlers

 

Stop it, just stop it. Enough is enough.

 

Your infatuation with us has surpassed even the mildest mannered of Saints supporters now. Those whom, like me, went along to support and contribute to one of the money spinning friendlies between the two clubs when you were in dire financial straights – only to be abused remorselessly for the duration of the game. “Scummers! Scummers!” you shouted at us as we stood there, completely bemused as to where this hatred had come from. Many, like me, had always looked out for Bournemouth results and had cheered whenever the tannoy announcer at The Dell or St.Mary’s announced that the Cherries had won.

 

You have left us feeling rather confused and if truth be told, a little angry. I know I am.

 

You accuse us of arrogance. That’s an incredible statement coming from a side that has dwelled beneath us for decades. Sure, some Saints fans have in the past alluded to the fact that we are probably too big a club for this league. That’s the truth. If you’d take the time to look at the facts then you might agree, too.

 

We average more than many Premier League clubs and likewise, Championship clubs. However, don’t be fooled; we KNOW implicitly that football is not decided on attendances alone. We know we must earn the right to get out of this division like everyone else. Don’t confuse “arrogance” with what is clearly an educated and correct assessment of the size of our club. We are a medium sized Premier League club and no amount of bleating and accusations of arrogance will change that.

 

Yet you must also remember that despite this, most if not all Saints fans recognise that we have no god-given right to be a Premier League side.

 

So, with that in mind, please dispel any misconceptions you have about us being arrogant.

 

Bournemouth, on the other hand, can be dutifully proud of their own snobbish and arrogant behaviour. One season at level pegging with us divisionally and you’ve gone into meltdown. You have the temerity to accuse us of arrogance while chomping on your sticks of rock.

 

Then, at another level, you are very quick to forget that we did help you in the times you needed financial help. Neil Moss, remember him? Advance payment. Loan players like Surman and Lallana in recent years… remember them? Friendlies, fundraisers and pitch maintenance equipment too – you even received help from our ground staff!

 

Is it me, or have you forgotten to thank us?

 

Christ, it’s like dealing with a spoilt child. And before you begin whining that I’ve mentioned that we’ve helped you and you accuse my comments of atypical arrogance that you’ve received from us, please remember one thing; Did you, or did you not receive that help?

 

Yes. Yes you did. If anyone is arrogant, it is you for completely bypassing those parts of your history.

 

But we’re not done yet. Oh no, I’ve still more points to make.

 

Let’s talk about your “plucky underdog” mentality.

 

“Big bad Southampton” are coming to visit. “Nasty, horrible Southampton” whose fans kill babies and rape women (and men, probably too – I’ve seen the scaremongering rubbish in your local paper from Neil Meldrum). Led by their evil mastermind, Don Cortese!

 

Give it a rest you morons.

 

You like to remind us that we too, are a “nothing club”. In terms of the top six or so clubs in the Premier League and a few traditional founding football members spattered across the leagues or now defunct, yes, you’re right. We’ve achieved nothing. Yet, if our best achievements include treading water in the top division for 27 consecutive years amongst the real big, bad bullies of the Premier League and a couple of cup final appearances, then I'd take that over "plucky Bournemouth". Remind us, what have you achieved?

 

Oh, that’s right. You’re a “plucky underdog”, I remember now. Still, teams of a similar size have achieved far more than you in recent times. Blackpool? Well, they’re in the Premier League. Hull? Swindon? Notts County? Oldham? They’ve all been in the top division over the past twenty years. Brighton? Colchester, S****horpe, Plymouth, Luton, Southend, Bury, Crewe, Walsall, Stockport, Doncaster? They’ve got further than you, too. That’s a lot of plucky underdogs not weighed down with a significant chip on their shoulders.

 

Hell, even MK Dons have won more in their short existence than you lot.

 

So that makes you a "plucky, underachieving underdog". Diddums.

 

So if you’re going to remind us that our existence in the Premier League was pointless than I am almost duty-bound to remind you that you’ve been nothing in the lower leagues too. Forgive me. Oh no, wait - poke it. I'm not done yet.

 

And by the way, I’d take our Matt Le Tissier memories to your Roger Boli moments every day of the week, ta.

 

At first, you reminded me of Portsmouth’s annoying little brother with all the “Scummer” comments. It was almost as if you were pulling at your big brothers coat tails and saying “Look, look, we called them a scummer too!”.

 

But over the past few days (possibly weeks), you’ve been frothing at the mouth, fantasising about playing us again and creating some sort of rivalry. From being Portsmouth’s annoying, perhaps retarded little brother you’ve transformed. Forgive me, but in my imagination now you’ve morphed into a crazed, wide-eyed stalker. You’re obsessed with us, yet you are convinced that despite our constant reaffirmation that we don’t care about you, it’s us who is stalking you.

 

Truth is you’ve been tailing us ever since the final whistle at Burton Albion.

 

“Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be, we’re going to St.Mary’s, que sera sera”

 

Remember that? How cringeworthy. Yet you say its our Cup final and not yours? Are you sure about that, or are you just being arrogant? Hang on, I thought you said you were the “plucky underdogs”? Which is it, Cherries?

 

So, from a benign if slightly annoying neighbour to a crazy, rabidly obsessed one. The type whom is always peering through his binoculars and into our garden.

 

 

 

Enjoy your Cup Final.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
saintscottofthenortham

saintscottofthenortham

Posted
Posted
Best rant by a Saints fan 2011:

 

Dear Bucket Rattlers

 

Stop it, just stop it. Enough is enough.

 

Your infatuation with us has surpassed even the mildest mannered of Saints supporters now. Those whom, like me, went along to support and contribute to one of the money spinning friendlies between the two clubs when you were in dire financial straights – only to be abused remorselessly for the duration of the game. “Scummers! Scummers!” you shouted at us as we stood there, completely bemused as to where this hatred had come from. Many, like me, had always looked out for Bournemouth results and had cheered whenever the tannoy announcer at The Dell or St.Mary’s announced that the Cherries had won.

 

You have left us feeling rather confused and if truth be told, a little angry. I know I am.

 

You accuse us of arrogance. That’s an incredible statement coming from a side that has dwelled beneath us for decades. Sure, some Saints fans have in the past alluded to the fact that we are probably too big a club for this league. That’s the truth. If you’d take the time to look at the facts then you might agree, too.

 

We average more than many Premier League clubs and likewise, Championship clubs. However, don’t be fooled; we KNOW implicitly that football is not decided on attendances alone. We know we must earn the right to get out of this division like everyone else. Don’t confuse “arrogance” with what is clearly an educated and correct assessment of the size of our club. We are a medium sized Premier League club and no amount of bleating and accusations of arrogance will change that.

 

Yet you must also remember that despite this, most if not all Saints fans recognise that we have no god-given right to be a Premier League side.

 

So, with that in mind, please dispel any misconceptions you have about us being arrogant.

 

Bournemouth, on the other hand, can be dutifully proud of their own snobbish and arrogant behaviour. One season at level pegging with us divisionally and you’ve gone into meltdown. You have the temerity to accuse us of arrogance while chomping on your sticks of rock.

 

Then, at another level, you are very quick to forget that we did help you in the times you needed financial help. Neil Moss, remember him? Advance payment. Loan players like Surman and Lallana in recent years… remember them? Friendlies, fundraisers and pitch maintenance equipment too – you even received help from our ground staff!

 

Is it me, or have you forgotten to thank us?

 

Christ, it’s like dealing with a spoilt child. And before you begin whining that I’ve mentioned that we’ve helped you and you accuse my comments of atypical arrogance that you’ve received from us, please remember one thing; Did you, or did you not receive that help?

 

Yes. Yes you did. If anyone is arrogant, it is you for completely bypassing those parts of your history.

 

But we’re not done yet. Oh no, I’ve still more points to make.

 

Let’s talk about your “plucky underdog” mentality.

 

“Big bad Southampton” are coming to visit. “Nasty, horrible Southampton” whose fans kill babies and rape women (and men, probably too – I’ve seen the scaremongering rubbish in your local paper from Neil Meldrum). Led by their evil mastermind, Don Cortese!

 

Give it a rest you morons.

 

You like to remind us that we too, are a “nothing club”. In terms of the top six or so clubs in the Premier League and a few traditional founding football members spattered across the leagues or now defunct, yes, you’re right. We’ve achieved nothing. Yet, if our best achievements include treading water in the top division for 27 consecutive years amongst the real big, bad bullies of the Premier League and a couple of cup final appearances, then I'd take that over "plucky Bournemouth". Remind us, what have you achieved?

 

Oh, that’s right. You’re a “plucky underdog”, I remember now. Still, teams of a similar size have achieved far more than you in recent times. Blackpool? Well, they’re in the Premier League. Hull? Swindon? Notts County? Oldham? They’ve all been in the top division over the past twenty years. Brighton? Colchester, S****horpe, Plymouth, Luton, Southend, Bury, Crewe, Walsall, Stockport, Doncaster? They’ve got further than you, too. That’s a lot of plucky underdogs not weighed down with a significant chip on their shoulders.

 

Hell, even MK Dons have won more in their short existence than you lot.

 

So that makes you a "plucky, underachieving underdog". Diddums.

 

So if you’re going to remind us that our existence in the Premier League was pointless than I am almost duty-bound to remind you that you’ve been nothing in the lower leagues too. Forgive me. Oh no, wait - poke it. I'm not done yet.

 

And by the way, I’d take our Matt Le Tissier memories to your Roger Boli moments every day of the week, ta.

 

At first, you reminded me of Portsmouth’s annoying little brother with all the “Scummer” comments. It was almost as if you were pulling at your big brothers coat tails and saying “Look, look, we called them a scummer too!”.

 

But over the past few days (possibly weeks), you’ve been frothing at the mouth, fantasising about playing us again and creating some sort of rivalry. From being Portsmouth’s annoying, perhaps retarded little brother you’ve transformed. Forgive me, but in my imagination now you’ve morphed into a crazed, wide-eyed stalker. You’re obsessed with us, yet you are convinced that despite our constant reaffirmation that we don’t care about you, it’s us who is stalking you.

 

Truth is you’ve been tailing us ever since the final whistle at Burton Albion.

 

“Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be, we’re going to St.Mary’s, que sera sera”

 

Remember that? How cringeworthy. Yet you say its our Cup final and not yours? Are you sure about that, or are you just being arrogant? Hang on, I thought you said you were the “plucky underdogs”? Which is it, Cherries?

 

So, from a benign if slightly annoying neighbour to a crazy, rabidly obsessed one. The type whom is always peering through his binoculars and into our garden.

 

 

 

Enjoy your Cup Final.

 

Somehow... I had forgotten about that. Epic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dubai_phil

dubai_phil

Posted
Posted

Has to be an award for Poster "Most under the influence"

 

Ohio on the Palace Match Thread last Monday, hitting the booze at 8am, I recall a few by Dune & Turkish as well, but got to be some others up there.

 

Most incompetent user of a mobile devis to post has to be Hamster (or is it that he is really a contender for under the influence?)

 

Most consistent poster has to be Rallyboy on the PTOT with Dalek coming in a close 2nd for all the wrong reasons

Link to comment
Share on other sites
saintscottofthenortham

saintscottofthenortham

Posted
Posted (edited)
Meltdown of the Year goes to Liquidshokk for his 2am New Years day "is life really all that" thread if anyone recalls that one. Classic wrist slitting stuff.

 

http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?27232-Is-Life-Really-All-That

 

Hahahhahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!

 

Merely a few hours into the new year I was depressed after that thread starting. And guess what...? It didn't get much better. Shít year.

Edited by saintscottofthenortham
Link to comment
Share on other sites
saintscottofthenortham

saintscottofthenortham

Posted
Posted
You can now add "the boy" to that list.:o

 

Don't shoot the messenger, but I'm hearing that you are up for the Saints Web Internetz Forum Lifetime Achievement Award, for giving up your every waking moment of every day, free of charge, to the pointless existence of your virtual reality.

 

If its true, let me be the first to congratulate you and offer a virtual hand for you to shake. You truly deserve it, Forum friend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
saintscottofthenortham

saintscottofthenortham

Posted
Posted
True! Thought I would save it til tonight!

 

I reckon... Slip off for an hour and half, do a nice bottle of red, settle down with some food whilst the alchohol takes proper effect then come back and reveal all. That way you won't miss anything out and will probably make it sound even worse than it already is. Everyone's a winner and you can then wish everyone a happy new year in the process.

 

I'm having a cracking poo right now, just FYI.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jillyanne

Jillyanne

Posted
Posted
I reckon... Slip off for an hour and half, do a nice bottle of red, settle down with some food whilst the alchohol takes proper effect then come back and reveal all. That way you won't miss anything out and will probably make it sound even worse than it already is. Everyone's a winner and you can then wish everyone a happy new year in the process.

 

I'm having a cracking poo right now, just FYI.

 

You have a PM!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
*Halo*

*Halo*

Posted
Posted

I might not post much, but I do read a lot, so I'll still tender my offering:

 

 

Thread of The Year: Pompey Takeover Saga

 

Post of The Year: Crab Lungs (Vrs Bournemouth)

 

Dressing Down / Ownage of The Year: anothersaintinsouthsea (Vrs Corp Ho)

 

Writer of The Year: georgeweahscousin

 

Favourite Poster of The Year: Trousers / Ohio / Pilchards - (1st/2nd/3rd)

 

The Nigel Adkins Award for Relentless Positivity: dannysfc

The Broken Record Award for Relentless Repetition: Dalek2003

 

The Victor Meldrew Award for Relentless Pessimism: alpine_saint

 

Genuine ITK of The Year: THEVMAN

Most Amusing Poster of The Year: Turkish

 

Most Improved Poster of The Year: Thedelldays

 

Fair Play Awards for Balance/Perspective: S-Clarke / Chez / Derry

 

Skate of the Year: Merovingian

 

Facepalm Award for Defence of the Indefensible: Corporate Ho

 

 

And that concludes my submissions for 2011. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...