A fan since 1969

[Jeyyy]

I want to tell you about a man who has been a Southampton-fan for 55 years. Ever since he as an 11 year old boy saw them play against Rosenborg at Lerkendal Stadium in Trondheim, Norway in 1969. 

That man is my father. The most positive, childish, playful, helpful man I have ever known. 

He had prostate cancer for 10 years, and went through chemo 2 times. Still lived his life like before, went to work, worked out, took his grandkids fishing, helped his brothers and sister. 

He worked at the same place for almost 40 years and when he retired he just couldn't stay away from his job, he loved it. Loved meeting people and talking to them, asking where they were from. Making jokes, always laughter around him, peolpe liked him, thought he was funny and kind.

This april he was supposed to take my 15 year old son to Southampton, to watch them play. But cancer had other plans. He went skiing the 10th of january, and felt completely fine. 2 days later he got nauseaus. Long story short, he had 2 brain metastases. Doctors decided to remove the largest one. Surgery went fine, up walking next day, talking to people at the hospital ward. 

The next day he had brain edema and was unconscious for 4 days. 2 new surgeries. Woke up, but hadn't the strength to get out of bed. He made progress, but time was working against him, and the second brain metastasis started doing it’s job, so he got weaker again. He said he wanted to go home. He wanted to go home to die. After a month we took him home so that he could spend his last days in the house that he and my mum built almost 40 years ago. He was awake almost all the time, weaker, but still making jokes and made us laugh, even on one of the last days when he could not speak or barely open his eyes he made funny faces.

21st of february he was gone. We put on his Southampton shirt so that he would wear it on his last journey. It was an honor to take care of him, and I have never experienced a person waiting to die who has spread so much positive energy and laughter. I smiled more than I cried the last weeks. And I cried a lot. At the funeral, when we carried him out, we played “always look on the bright side of life”. People thought it was perfect. 

I just wanted to say hi to his fellow fans, who also loves the team that has given him so much joy. 

I wanted to add some pics from a “scrap book” he made in the 70s, but couldn't figure out how. Anyway, there's a lot of pics and articles from Goal! and stuf. 

Southampton will for ever have a special place in my heart ❤️

 

[Fan The Flames]

Sorry for your loss Jeyyy, your dad sounds like a great bloke. Take care mush.

[The Kraken]

Thank you for posting Jeyyy, and I’m so sorry to hear of your loss of your father. 

[TheAlehouseBrawlers]

Sounds like he was a great family man and a Saints story worthy of the main board really. Similar age to myself and sounds like we got into it around the same time so plenty of ups and downs following this football club for your father, from a distance.

Condolences for your loss.

[Jeyyy]

16 hours ago, TheAlehouseBrawlers said:

Sounds like he was a great family man and a Saints story worthy of the main board really. Similar age to myself and sounds like we got into it around the same time so plenty of ups and downs following this football club for your father, from a distance.

Condolences for your loss.

Yes, been some ups and downs 😄

I've never been in to english football, but I will always cheer for Southampton. He used to tell me if they'd won. Made him so happy. 

We used to have their flag at the christmas tree.

[Holmes_and_Watson]

That was a lovely tribute to someone who sounds like he was a great bloke. One who had impeccable taste in football clubs too. 🙂

Despite the difficult times, your post makes him shine through. Thanks so much for telling us about him.

[Whitey Grandad]

Farewell to a wonderful man.

[Turkish]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Thanks for sharing the story 

[Sergei Gotsmanov]

It is a great compliment to our club that he chose to follow Southampton. I hope that your 15 year old son gets to come and see us play - hopefully in the premier league next season!

[Jeyyy]

28 minutes ago, Sergei Gotsmanov said:

It is a great compliment to our club that he chose to follow Southampton. I hope that your 15 year old son gets to come and see us play - hopefully in the premier league next season!

Yes, I am thinking of maybe taking him myself next season. Bet I'll cry, but it will be nice too 

[Sergei Gotsmanov]

6 minutes ago, Jeyyy said:

Yes, I am thinking of maybe taking him myself next season. Bet I'll cry, but it will be nice too 

I am sure that between users on this site we can get the tickets if you need them.

[Jeyyy]

12 hours ago, Sergei Gotsmanov said:

I am sure that between users on this site we can get the tickets if you need them.

Is it difficult to get tickets? Or good tickets? 

[trousers]

A very touching story Jeyyy, thanks for sharing. Your father sounds like a wonderful man ❤️

As someone else said, its a shame this isn't on the main Saints section of the forum where more people are likely to see it (wonder if the mods can move it? @Lighthouse?)

Would also be good if someone on here with connections in the club could make them aware of Jeyyy's father's story as it would be great if they could do something for Jeyyy and his family next season....

 

Edited May 16 by trousers

[Fan The Flames]

15 hours ago, Jeyyy said:

Yes, I am thinking of maybe taking him myself next season. Bet I'll cry, but it will be nice too 

Nothing wrong with that mate. I went to Home Park for a Fans United game (fans from other teams are encouraged to go wearing their teams shirt to boost the gate of a financially struggling team). Plymouth was my dad's side and I been there loads as a kid, but hadn't been back since he had died. An old bloke, same age as my dad, came up to me and thanked me for coming, I started to talk to him but burst into tears. I explained to him the story, it was a very emotional day for me but worth it. So come next season 👍

[Sergei Gotsmanov]

3 hours ago, Jeyyy said:

Is it difficult to get tickets? Or good tickets? 

You have to be a member I think - I am a season ticket holder so don't do it that way. As I said though I am sure that tickets could easily be organised on here. I cannot do every game with my son and there would be many others like us. Your story strikes a chord.

[Jeyyy]

On 16/05/2024 at 14:56, Sergei Gotsmanov said:

You have to be a member I think - I am a season ticket holder so don't do it that way. As I said though I am sure that tickets could easily be organised on here. I cannot do every game with my son and there would be many others like us. Your story strikes a chord.

I will definately ask for advice here on how to get tickets if we are going. Thanks.

[Jeyyy]

On 16/05/2024 at 14:37, Fan The Flames said:

Nothing wrong with that mate. I went to Home Park for a Fans United game (fans from other teams are encouraged to go wearing their teams shirt to boost the gate of a financially struggling team). Plymouth was my dad's side and I been there loads as a kid, but hadn't been back since he had died. An old bloke, same age as my dad, came up to me and thanked me for coming, I started to talk to him but burst into tears. I explained to him the story, it was a very emotional day for me but worth it. So come next season 👍

Will try! Sorry about your dad. It's very emotional sometimes yes. Always imagined him as an old guy, becoming a great grand father, sitting in his chair watching football. But that's life... 

[Jeyyy]

Here's the pics from his scrap book. Probably made in his early teens.

 

https://www.imghippo.com/i/1fWhp1716040659.jpg

https://www.imghippo.com/i/CAdJc1716040709.jpg


https://www.imghippo.com/i/A5csM1716040743.jpg


https://www.imghippo.com/i/j0TmO1716040769.jpg

[johnnyboy]

Here they are , sorry for your loss

[Jeyyy]

So my mother said she is taking my son to Southampton this year, early as possible, hopefully in September. And she asked me if I wanted to go too. So I said yes. 

Guess we'll find out on sunday if they are playing in PL or not.

 

Would be fun to see them play against Ipswich, my fathers youngest brothers team. They’ve had a long lasting friendly rivalry when Southampton and Ipswich has been in the same league. My uncle even bought my newborn son a Ipswich-bodysuit.

 

I have 2 sons, but the 16 yo is a Liverpool-fan so he went to see them at Anfield last year with my parents, and I'm so thankful that my mum is taking the other one even if things didn't go as planned. They also took my cousin to see Man U when he had his confirmation, since they were his godparents. Some gift.

(We are not religious, but confirmation is a common tradition in Norway, don't know how it is in England)

 

My mother is 62, and has been with my dad her whole adult life (I was born when she was 21) so she is having a really hard time now, suddenly alone in their big house, I can't even imagine. 

My sons were everything for my dad. I am an only child, so they were his only grandchildren, and he's been a father figure to them, since they lost their father when they were 6 and 7. They have helped me so much as a single mum working as a nurse. 

 

So I want to ask you guys, do you have any advice to make this trip extra special? Where should we go before the game? Do you have to be 18 to get into a pub? 🤫

 

I know this isn't a unique situation by any means, a lot of people die every day, but for me and my mum and son this is special. And I think they deserve everything, so I want to make the most of it. 

 

This is going to be so emotional and I'm crying just thinking about going to St. Mary's. I'm so glad my dad got to see them there too in 2018, that was a great day in his life. He was fan of our local team Rosenborg too, and we had a lot of good times watching them play in Champions League in the 90s. Great memories. He knew every result from every game they played in CL. 

 

In his burial I held a speech, and I said I've never looked at him as a person who has taught me much about life, never had any of the big conversations, he taught me more about football and stuf, and I said that I realize now that no one has taught me more about life than him, because he was satisfied with what he had, he was happy, funny and positive, he cherished the people and moments, not money and succes. 

 

I had a lot on my mind today, sorry for all the over explaining and stuf 😅

Hope what I write is understandable, English is not my first language 🤭

 

And I just want to say thank you for your kind words and advice so far, I've always known that Southampton-fans must be really good hearted people ❤️🤍❤️🤍❤️

 

[Jeyyy]

Thank you so much once again to every one of you for your kind words, we are going to Southampton very soon to see them play against Ipswich 😀

My dad would have been thrilled to know that they are playing in PL this year 😍

Any advice for things to do in Southampton the rest of the weekend? My boys are 15 and 16. 

[TheAlehouseBrawlers]

Hi Jeyyy,

Great that you're coming over, hopefully the club will arrange tickets for you if you haven't already sorted them as the game is already heading for a sell-out a month in advance.

Southampton is a port city, more industrial than a tourist destination, so not exactly the most gripping of cities. It's most famous for its docks and the many famous liners that sail from here, they'll likely be some in port during your visit. The Titanic sailed from here and of the 1,500 lost in the tragedy about half came from Southampton who were working below decks. We have the Sea City Museum at the Civic Centre that recounts our maritime history. If you're possibly into aviation, Southampton is the home of the Spitfire, the Supermarine factory was bombed in WWII, as was much of the city, and there's the Solent Sky Air Museum situated near Ocean Village which is a recommended destination with plenty of places to eat and drink around a marina (and about a 1.5km walk to the stadium). Both museums are smallish venues.

Not sure if that would interest 15 and 16 year old boys, they can go in pubs but can't (officially) drink alcohol until 18. They'll probably enjoy the fanzones at the stadium on matchday.

12 miles north of Southampton is the historic city of Winchester, a very nice place to visit, about 15-20 minutes on the train from Southampton Central. We're also about 70 miles from Central London, an hour or so by train.

There's a massive shopping mall called Westquay so maybe hide the credit cards from your boys!

Hopefully helps a bit, I'm sure others will chip in with better ideas.

Edit: Just remembered the Southampton International Boat Show will be on while you're here if you like to see how 'the other half' live, maybe worth a visit. Held at Mayflower Park near Westquay.

Edited August 26 by TheAlehouseBrawlers
Added Southampton Boat Show

[Jeyyy]

1 hour ago, TheAlehouseBrawlers said:

Hi Jeyyy,

Great that you're coming over, hopefully the club will arrange tickets for you if you haven't already sorted them as the game is already heading for a sell-out a month in advance.

Southampton is a port city, more industrial than a tourist destination, so not exactly the most gripping of cities. It's most famous for its docks and the many famous liners that sail from here, they'll likely be some in port during your visit. The Titanic sailed from here and of the 1,500 lost in the tragedy about half came from Southampton who were working below decks. We have the Sea City Museum at the Civic Centre that recounts our maritime history. If you're possibly into aviation, Southampton is the home of the Spitfire, the Supermarine factory was bombed in WWII, as was much of the city, and there's the Solent Sky Air Museum situated near Ocean Village which is a recommended destination with plenty of places to eat and drink around a marina (and about a 1.5km walk to the stadium). Both museums are smallish venues.

Not sure if that would interest 15 and 16 year old boys, they can go in pubs but can't (officially) drink alcohol until 18. They'll probably enjoy the fanzones at the stadium on matchday.

12 miles north of Southampton is the historic city of Winchester, a very nice place to visit, about 15-20 minutes on the train from Southampton Central. We're also about 70 miles from Central London, an hour or so by train.

There's a massive shopping mall called Westquay so maybe hide the credit cards from your boys!

Hopefully helps a bit, I'm sure others will chip in with better ideas.

Edit: Just remembered the Southampton International Boat Show will be on while you're here if you like to see how 'the other half' live, maybe worth a visit. Held at Mayflower Park near Westquay.

Thank you so much for your advice! We have tickets already 😊

[spyinthesky]

Jeyyy,

Like many on here I have been touched by your story and really hope you enjoy your visit to Southampton and, hopefully, the result at St Marys.
As pointed out the International Boat Show is on in the city and this presents problems with availability (and cost!!) of accommodation.

[TheAlehouseBrawlers]

I hope you had a successful weekend Jeyyy if you made it over - the football was a bit disappointing for most of us but hopefully all went well for you and brought warm memories of your father.

Edited September 22 by TheAlehouseBrawlers

[Jeyyy]

On 27/08/2024 at 13:00, spyinthesky said:

Jeyyy,

Like many on here I have been touched by your story and really hope you enjoy your visit to Southampton and, hopefully, the result at St Marys.
As pointed out the International Boat Show is on in the city and this presents problems with availability (and cost!!) of accommodation.

I really did. We stayed at the same hotel as mom and dad did the 2 times they visited. Mom told me he used to stand outside the hotel smoking and looking at the railway. So I went over there and there was this bush with purple flowers, which I saw a lot of, and I took some of the seeds home, hoping it will grow in my garden. Though it looks like I might picked them too early. The match was great, too bad Ipswich scored after full time. But it's my uncles favourite team so it was ok 😅 It was a great experience, and I bet he would mean a lot to him if he knew. And when the huge banner came across the tribune with "Southampton till I die" I must say I was a little moved ❤️ He always sat in his chair and said "come on you saints!" And in the tunnel it was written "we march on". That's the spirit that he had. I think Southampton was a nice little city, not too big and crowded like London etc, but there were a lot of people in the streets. I loved it. 

[Jeyyy]

On 22/09/2024 at 19:24, TheAlehouseBrawlers said:

I hope you had a successful weekend Jeyyy if you made it over - the football was a bit disappointing for most of us but hopefully all went well for you and brought warm memories of your father.

It absolutely was! I really enjoyed the match, and was a little shocked about the tone between the supporters 😅 People showing the finger and making wank*ng-moves to eachother. Haha.