What's in a name?

I'm sure I'm not the only one on here to sometimes look at other posters' monikers and wonder how they came up with them. There are, of course, any number of obvious ones - locations, surnames and the like - but others seem shrouded in mystery. Is Hypochondriac really one? Does Smirking Saint really do so (and, if so, how often and for what reason)? Why did the Dell Days pick a Gotham City super-hero as his new alias? How big, and indeed how bad, is B-cubed? How certain can we be of Heisenberg? Jeff is certainly unbelievable, but I'm not sure that was what he was getting at when he created the persona.

Certain posters' names are crystal clear of course. We all know that the learned Professor Brian Earsy sees fit to mingle with us lowbrows under the pseudonym of Bearsy - and most edifying it is to have such an educated contributor. Others indulge in plays on words or anagrams - Buctootim is an example of the former and pap clearly an example of the latter, though I've yet to work out what his name is an anagram of (it's fiendishly clever, almost twisted). Another neat anagram is Saint Bletch - taking his real name of Bartholomew Stenchtail, he realised that his surname could (most appropriately) render 'Saint'. However, as 'Saint Letch' might give the unwanted impression that he came from Letchworth, he decided to use his initial as well, giving us the poster whom we all revere.

As for myself, it's kind of an anagram as well. My given name is William Fitzgerald Lloyd; many years ago a friend took W. F. Lloyd and created Fowllyd from it, somewhat in homage to 80s rapper Schoolly D. In the intervening years, I've changed my surname to Tightly, in honour of my partner, Gerald. However, Fowllyd has stuck.

Do you, dear Muppets, have any fascinating or hilarious tales to tell of the origins of your aliases? Or even trite and boring ones - I'm a tolerant soul, though I'll probably switch off if they're too long-winded and tedious.

I am not a boy, yet I am "boyish."

Mine is simple its where I reside. I was the original UAE Saint whilst living in Ajman and just get the mods to change the name when the location changes.

Victorian man's doner kebab was too long or taken I can't remember which.

Mountain skills.

I'm sure I'm not the only one on here to sometimes look at other posters' monikers and wonder how they came up with them. There are, of course, any number of obvious ones - locations, surnames and the like - but others seem shrouded in mystery. Is Hypochondriac really one? Does Smirking Saint really do so (and, if so, how often and for what reason)? Why did the Dell Days pick a Gotham City super-hero as his new alias? How big, and indeed how bad, is B-cubed? How certain can we be of Heisenberg? Jeff is certainly unbelievable, but I'm not sure that was what he was getting at when he created the persona.

 

Certain posters' names are crystal clear of course. We all know that the learned Professor Brian Earsy sees fit to mingle with us lowbrows under the pseudonym of Bearsy - and most edifying it is to have such an educated contributor. Others indulge in plays on words or anagrams - Buctootim is an example of the former and pap clearly an example of the latter, though I've yet to work out what his name is an anagram of (it's fiendishly clever, almost twisted). Another neat anagram is Saint Bletch - taking his real name of Bartholomew Stenchtail, he realised that his surname could (most appropriately) render 'Saint'. However, as 'Saint Letch' might give the unwanted impression that he came from Letchworth, he decided to use his initial as well, giving us the poster whom we all revere.

 

As for myself, it's kind of an anagram as well. My given name is William Fitzgerald Lloyd; many years ago a friend took W. F. Lloyd and created Fowllyd from it, somewhat in homage to 80s rapper Schoolly D. In the intervening years, I've changed my surname to Tightly, in honour of my partner, Gerald. However, Fowllyd has stuck.

 

Do you, dear Muppets, have any fascinating or hilarious tales to tell of the origins of your aliases? Or even trite and boring ones - I'm a tolerant soul, though I'll probably switch off if they're too long-winded and tedious.

Did someone say long-winded and tedious? Here's a story of bletch and Blatch and Grom and Yasser and pox...

As everyone knows, bletch is the third metasyntactic variable after foo and bar.

Many years ago, a work colleague known affectionately to me as Grom (a contraction of his surname) christened me Bletch - well The Bletch Man to be precise. This was initially in honour of the third metasyntactic variable, but he also claimed that it was in some way a fitting way of describing my appearance.

He was a keen illustrator so he created a caricature image of my head. This was before hair loss and the wig, and I sported a rather dashing flat-top and beard at the time. Dimensions and head shape mean that I am cursed with looking like a real thug, so he believed that if he drew a square and placed four slits inside - three horizontal and one vertical it would represent my unfriendly face. He then extended 5 lines vertically from the top of the box to represent my ephemerally lustrous hair, and five lines vertically from the bottom of the box for my stubbly beard.

I don't know why, but the name and image stuck.

I'll award a special prize for any poster that can accurately draw this image from my description. Toke/Bear - if you draw a cock and balls with gism, it won't be funny; just childish.

[The spooky music from Danny Baker's saturday morning radio show is now playing in the background]

A few years later, another mate (The Boy Blunder - he of the pissing on the landing incident) was at my house chatting with me and my Dad. At some point he called me Bletch. My Dad asked what he'd called me, and so I explained the Bletch moniker. My Dad then told me that when he was my (then) age, his nickname was Blatch. Apparently he looked like a film star called Blatch....something. I can't remember who. My Dad died a few years ago, and his mate from that time (Duke Darrington) still phones up and refers to my Dad as Blatch.

How spooky is that?

Anyway, it was shortly after this that I decided to change my real name to Bartholomew Stenchtail.

BTW, Fowllyd, you don't have to invent a story to hide the shame of being born in "The Wales". So what, you've got 6 fingers? So what, you can't end a sentence without saying "isn't it?". Isn't it?

BTW2, Fowllyd, do you fit Gerald tightly, or do you tightly fit Gerald?

BTW3, my boss at the time that I worked with Grom was a complete funster. He is Jewish so we called him Yasser and made him wear a tea towel on his head when he got drunk - it seemed somehow appropriate at the time. He was also known as Bob Man. Anyway, I was programming at the time and I had managed to spread the use of the variable 'bletch' throughout our company's source code, but Bob Man ran a pretty successful campaign to unseat bletch as the third metasyntactic variable, and to replace it instead with 'pox'. As he was the boss, bletch succumbed to the pox.

Presumably to this day, small businesses are running their accounting systems on code full of the pox.

Toke's a ****.

There are, of course, any number of obvious ones

I do hope I’m not too obvious Fowllyd x

I do hope I’m not too obvious Fowllyd x

 

Camp saint?

The following all factored in.

1. Being called PAUL

2. Being limited to 3 characters on 80s arcade high scores table

3. PAU not really definite enough. Trailing vowel. Could go anywhere.

4. My initials, PAT, not really manly enough and again, could go anywhere.

5. It's phonetically pleasing to say.

6. It's easy to spell.

7. It's already taking the píss out of itself. Poor Charlie had to go for "pap smear" or "pulp" when he was having a pop, neither of which are worse than the dictionary definition of "pap".

8. Palindromic.

9. It's "papular" with the ladies*

10. People call me it in real life.

* not remotely true

Camp saint?

Okay bletch, just so long as you bring the tent, and we go somewhere other than Gosport.

Mine is what four of my grandchildren call me in order to differentiate from their other granfather, Grandad David.

My hair, and there can be a lot of it, is prematurely white, even for someone of 65. The avatar may be one of the world's greatest scientists but he was also a grandfather with a lot of white hair.

Mine is what four of my grandchildren call me in order to differentiate from their other granfather, Grandad David.

 

My hair, and there can be a lot of it, is prematurely white, even for someone of 65. The avatar may be one of the world's greatest scientists but he was also a grandfather with a lot of white hair.

It’s just as well you haven’t got brown hair Whitey, otherwise you’d be known as Brownie Grandad, and I suspect Brown Owl wouldn't like that, and would insist you became a Girl Guide instead.

Mine is because I smoke a lot of weed and got the name Toke. Yo was (and still is for dumb bears) a way of saying hello. People would see me and shout Toke yo! How's it going etc? I am also a deeply religious catholic from the green side of Glasgow. Therefore as I love the saints, the angels and even some of the cherubs so much and love nothing more than a good christingle (raisins stuck in oranges on cocktail sticks as Jesus would have wanted it), the obvious suffix was -saint. That's how Tokyo-saint came about.

smoke a lot of weed = suck a lot of cock

the green side of Glasgow = England

People would see me and shout Toke yo = People would see me and shout Fuck you

other than the above corrections, the rest of tokyos account passes fact-checking

I just saw bjk on main board, i always think of this bro as BJ King but i don't remember how i found this out

I just went to google some image to mug you off bear (as per usual Tuesday), I typed bearsy into google and then google stated to guess what I wanted and top guess was bearsy and tokyo. This is a recently formatted PC so this was not based on any of my gay searches, this was genuine google recognising this is a commonly searched topic and suggesting it to save typing.

It is either us (we were top hits along with spudgun (rave in peace) or because bears in Tokyo as of course popular it could cause of these guys....

I'm off to try google with other double acts, Bletch and Pap, Turks and MLG, Dig Dog and St Charlie.

No good..

Bletch and Pap = bleach and paper

Mlg and Turks = The lolking http://www.lolking.net/summoner/na/50895496

Diggers and St C = Top 10 high maintenance dogs http://www.vetstreet.com/the-10-most-high-maintenance-dog-breeds

We can't all be top hits on google I guess.

I just went to google some image to mug you off bear (as per usual Tuesday), I typed bearsy into google and then google stated to guess what I wanted and top guess was bearsy and tokyo.

wtf i just got the same thing, and I swear to you i have never searched bearsy and tokyo in my life! I mean, why would i? If i wanted to see our sex-snaps i would just access our icloud account!

Not very exciting I'm afraid, but back in the 90s I used to post on something called the SaintsList. It was a bit like this (with the attendant meltdowns and ***** fights) only it worked by email rather than on the internet. When we weren't slagging off Rupert Lowe (it was around the time of the reverse take over and even at the beginning he was a hate figure) we used to wax lyrical about the good old days with Big Ron etc. I was of course much younger then but we often used to refer to ourselves (ironically) as sad old gits when the nostalgia crept in. When I found this place and needed a name Sad Old Git seemed perfect - not least because now I am definitely a SOG. There are a few of us remnants still here - Duncan, Minty, Mike, Throbber. All of us much sadder, older and not so wiser!

So very sorry to hear about your musical impediment.

Have ATOS classified you as fit to work?

I did the Tokyo and Bear google thing and came up with this:

Quite a night in the back room, apparently.

Ah, happy nights in Shinjuku. No lies, I used to live in Shinjuku, well Nishi Shinjuku but close enough to walk to big bear night.

No ****, I Know that club, Xanadu. When the world cup was on (German one) they advertised everywhere that they were showing the England game on massive screens, cheap drinks, pics of nice birds on the flyer, all the usual tricks. Anyway, went there and they broke all the golden rules of showing football. They had a DJ playing music through the build up (it happens sometimes but usually vindaloo and stuff) but then when the match started, the DJ didn't stop! He kept on playing **** house music through the near riot. I have never seen a DJ more heckled in my life. The management refused to make him stop and he just kept on with the banging tunes, while bottles of plastic beer rained down on him. Looks like they have turned gay or at least have a gay night. If I know Xanadu like I think I do, they will probably have straight porn playing on the big screens and have a selection of real ales on tap especially for the night.

Ah, happy nights in Shinjuku. No lies, I used to live in Shinjuku

Happy nights indeed

If you are asking Tim, my flat was very close to the bottom right of that photo. It could even be the block at the very bottom right.

shinjuku nichome is the redlight district/gay area/love hotel area. Google that for some images.

They have this club there that is set up like the inside of a train (subway kind). You go in and birds are pretending to be taking a ride on the train, going home or whatever. Then the seedy Japanese business man (or Dubai Phil on holiday) can (for a reasonable fee) go up behind them and feel them up. This is just one example of the kind of clubs that used to make the nights fly by. I did consider the user name creepy-crawler- saint but it was already taken.

I did the Tokyo and Bear google thing and came up with this:

 

 

Quite a night in the back room, apparently.

Me too. This is what I got...

...and...

...and a discussion about D.I.L.Fs.

Obviously I am, but do any other posters in TMS consider themselves to be a DILF?

I am a stunning hot blonde called Alison who lives in England.

I changed my user name from Alisihotofuk to stop all you middle aged perves sending me pics of your knobs!!

I am a stunning hot blonde called Alison who lives in England.

 

I changed my user name from Alisihotofuk to stop all you middle aged perves sending me pics of your knobs!!

You have PM Alison.

i had to send her 2 cos of the size of my attachment

Don't open it Alison, it has viruses!

I am a stunning hot blonde called Alison who lives in England.

 

I changed my user name from Alisihotofuk to stop all you middle aged perves sending me pics of your knobs!!

I can't believe I flew all the way out to Dubai to meet you. It's the last time I agree to meet up with a 'girl' I meet on the internet.

I can't believe I flew all the way out to Dubai to meet you. It's the last time I agree to meet up with a 'girl' I meet on the internet.

Imagine my disappointment ..... with you being named Ali as well, I just assumed you were female and was looking forward to some lezzer action!!

shut up pls i think i'm in here

In your dreams sonny ..... which reminds me, please stop sending me PM's candidly discribing the dreams that you have been having recently.

All good stuff. I was born a man but over the years I realized women get a lot of attention, so being an attention whore (I need people to look at me and talk about me at all times, good or bad, I need to be in people's thoughts. You're thinking about me right now, aren't you?). Anyways, long story short I took a pair of scissors to my average length, above average girth penis in a attempt to become a woman. I was trying to become "A Broad" (Imagine this being said in my New Jersey accent, decorated with Philadelphia area vocabulary, Water = Wootder, etc.). Boy was my face red when I realized lobbing off your knob don't make you "a broad." I then performed a set of miracles, including re-attaching my above average dong and thusly have been labeled a Saint by the Catholic Church.

------------

...I don't live in the UK but having an anglophiled view on the matter of supporting Saints, I chose to say I was a Saint_Abroad. Meaning, my view point was that of an outsider, I am a wandering sole always looking to get to St Mary's Stadium, and find a decent pint.

I'm Chris Kamara. True Story.

Do names really matter that much?

I mean, you'd never think someone called Madison Bumgarner would be a success on basis of name, but.....

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/video/2014/oct/30/san-francisco-giants-madison-bumgarner-world-series-kansas-royals-video

I'm an advocate of Sky Sports News, and can't type for toffee, hence the extra letters. *

*The above reason is a lie.

I always think of you as dyslexic SSN with a dodgy keyboard.

Do names really matter that much?

 

I mean, you'd never think someone called Madison Bumgarner would be a success on basis of name, but.....

 

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/video/2014/oct/30/san-francisco-giants-madison-bumgarner-world-series-kansas-royals-video

You would if you've watched him pitch the last few years.

You would if you've watched him pitch the last few years.

I haven't, because like most other US sports, baseball is fkn boring.

I haven't, because like most other US sports, baseball is fkn boring.

Haha, yeah whatever man. NFL certainly ain't boring. Baseball can be, I'll agree with that.

I'm an advocate of Sky Sports News, and can't type for toffee, hence the extra letters. *

 

 

*The above reason is a lie.

Saint No Stopping U Now.

I liked Dean Richards. He wore number 6. I actually had a home shirt from around that time (one with the really big black collar) which had Deano and number 6 on it, but I only realised the connection (that I had used my screenname verbatim from my shirt, looking like I had a shirt made with my username on it) much later.

Sorry for not having a better story. I am too busy these days for frivolities.

Haha, yeah whatever man. NFL certainly ain't boring. Baseball can be, I'll agree with that.

You ever tried watching NFL over there? FFS. You'll have bought ten new cars and an insurance policy by game's end (artificially padded for sponsors and suchlike).

A picture of my wife will explain my name:

Oh, random fact: I know the Lighthouse Family's producer.

Bonus fact: They have a new album coming out.

Oh, random fact: I know the Lighthouse Family's producer.

 

Bonus fact: They have a new album coming out.

Have you never felt like stabbing him in the face? I know I would.

Have you never felt like stabbing him in the face? I know I would.

Thing is, I actually bought both Lighthouse Family albums when I was younger so I can't really comment.

And he worked with Bowie too so that evens things up.

A picture of my wife will explain my name:

 

… and could also explain why you waved her goodbye to join a nunnery, you bounder.

5 of them or 1 of her?

You decide.