CB Fry

Are you either a) extremely tall or b) extremely short

Have you ever met anyone called Erwin?

Ketchup, or Mayo?

Are you Dutch or have ever worked with Dutch people?

How on earth could you possibly know this, they'd be 10-12 year olds if they turned up now, 15 or 16 if they turned up a few years ago. Unless, of course, parents are turning up with "10 year olds" that actually first team ready 24 year olds, like Rodney in the Groovy Gang in Only Fools and Horses and now we're waiting for the professional debut of Britain's tallest 11 year old footballer in history. Either way, I'd like to see where you know about our "queue" and how it compares to other clubs' "queues".

Big Cherries fan as a kid, I believe.

Morgan went from a player Spurs wanted to a player Man United wanted.

You're getting a little too excited over the word bespoke.

One can only imagine they classify VVD and Clasie as proven experienced talent. We're not going to start signing 29 year olds any time soon.

I want Arsenal to win the league, if they don't do it this season they never ever will, but it would be fairly typical of them to c ock up following such an important win tonight. Many Arsenal fans will be bricking it, they are capable of being terrible at key moments.

Quite right. It's a bit of a myth that we are plucking nobodies out of thin air - we're buying relatively expensive (typically £8, £10, £12m) players from big clubs in second tier European Leagues. Hardly magical top secret gems spat out from the Player-Tron 2000 Machine in the black box room. And nearly all of them can be directly linked to Koeman pretty easily, and those that can't he has been unequivocally supportive of (ie Long). We haven't really signed any mystery gems for peanuts (like, say, Mahrez) for a fair while, we don't do seem to do that. We've been good at growing our own, but not so good at plucking our own.

You sure about that? All the interviews I've ever heard, often with Les and Ronald sat next to each other, talk about the manager having approval on all incoming signings. All of them. You can get excited about the black box or whatever but that is just glorified scouting and unlikely to be much beyond anything anyone else does at the top level. I know you're desperate to blame 'orrible old bumbling Les and a season where we don't improve our league position is fertile ground (at long, long last) for you to finally make hay but sorry, not having it.

Agree, I think a distribution graph of goals scored by game over 2015 might look rather alarming. As our friend The9 likes to say, clean sheets are more valuable than goals and that saw us right kast season but now our defence has turned to sh it we are in trouble both ends. I get the feeling Koemans true style is "we'll score more" so probably this end of the pitch that needs attention. (We need to improve elsewhere too, of course) Any stattos know how many games we have scored in the 36 or so games this year, and how that stacks up vs the competition?

Where does "out and out regression" start for you, then? Please say finishing twelfth.

Nailed it.

Even more moronic are those that talk up the signings of other clubs and dismiss our own transfer business, right? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I wish we were Crystal Palace I wish we were Crystal Palace I wish we were Crystal Palace.

Ryan Seager is turning more and more into the next Alan Shearer with the passing of every day.

So 25 games is qualitative analysis but 38 games is quantative? I'd suggest you don't have a fu cking clue what those two words mean. I was perfectly happy with 25 but 25 games is a no more logical choice than 30, 23, 27, 20 or whatever. My question about the calendar year was a follow up question and at least gives a reflection of a full season rather than this season plus 8 games from the previous season tacked on the beginning. Not 6, not 5, but 8. Must be 8. Not sure why though. Must be "qualitative", though. I don't think "everything is ok" anyway, so Christ knows what you're going on about.

Absolutely, and it is the manager at the very heart of that.

I remember well the clamour on this forum to sign Troy Deeney in the summer but of course our tight fisted board were never going to splash out the huge money required to sign such a superstar.

What is the relevance of 25 games? You might as well round it up to 2015 as a whole which is usually not far off 38 games. I imagine it is nearly as bad as that and also a better indication of long term form.

Very funny. Very, very funny.

You were doing comedy "we're going to be relegated" routines this time last year when we were in the top five. Anyone who has been on this forum for a few years knows exactly what you are.

You are trolling by rolling out your same comedy "opinions", and you can see you're treating this weekend as your Christmas Day. Noticeable and gratifying you are getting fewer bites than previously and so you are notching up the trollery to desperately get a reaction which unfortunately is leaving a few holes in the comedy logic. But, You are having a great time anyway so carry on fishing.

We engineered our exit from Europe because we were scared of relegation but at the same time the whole club was complacent following our recent success. Even Daleks trolling routines, once the gold standard of relentlessly saying the same thing over and over again, have gone to pieces. He's all over the place. But you can tell he is having a brilliant time and convinced he is simply hilarious.