Patrick Bateman

Top post. As for those wanting to sign Wickham, you have to wonder if they've ever seen him other than on Sky and other than for the 4 or 5 matches where he looked okay (out of 40-odd last season). Even the Sunderland fans don't think he's THAT good and are laughing at £10m for him.

Seriously? I have no words sometimes.

Seriously? I assume you're a parody.

Big man, little man ... have we gone back in time?

I think someone else said this, but it could be a stalking horse to get Burnley to part with Ings and accept our offer, or risk losing Ings for nothing at the end of the season?

He's not; But it's a "Man U XI"

Ooo, I didn't notice that, good spot Art!

He may as well have said "Geordies are thick". Bet that little speech went down really well up there!?

This is brilliant to watch!

Exactly this. He's just not a "Saints signing", can't see it at all, just like I can't see us signing Hernandez - extremes. We'll end up with another striker not many have heard of, or Ings, I'm sure of that. And for those poo-pooing Eto'o, isn't he being touted around Liverpool??

Someone bloody dreadful. Play the U21s, scrape through and treat it with contempt. Just looking at the matches, they all sound like dull opponents, so we can live in hope we'd get Pompey, home.

Of course, as I said, take the biggest f**k off wage going with the longest contract duration, rivals or no rivals, deal or no deal?

Quite! Although given the choice of no contract, shorter contract, or longer contract with your rivals and therefore better family security, what would you do? Moral dilema. Not sure I could ever bring myself to play for Pompey (I'm probably still not even good enough for them, haha), but if they were offering me a decent contract which would give me some security, I may have to swallow my pride ... ?

I think this is worthy of a whole topic on its own to be honest!

A very serious question irene. When you go to a party at Artur's, what do you take with you?

Shush, don't pee on my anti-Pochettino bonfire

As I said in another piece, Pochettino should arguably have done much better with the group of players he had, if he was that good and they were that good.

That wasn't in the public quote, obviously I guess. But has he actually been told that he's not rated? If so, do we know why?

That was exactly my point about last season. He's a class goalie, we all love the guy, but his niggling injuries where he either couldn't play, or played while semi-fit (due to inadequate back-up) meant we dropped points. Forster is also an excellent goalie, I'd love to keep both. Not sure I buy the "if he doesn't play week in week out he won't play for Poland either" - many goalies play for their countries despite not playing every week and in the case of Poland, isn't Szczesny going to be their number 1 anyway? I think Arsenal are going to have a very very good season this year and he'll get more plaudits. I hope we can keep both to fight it out with each other and breed some decent competitive spirit that's been lacking in that area!

Yes, because it was FULL of Saints fans. How annoyed would you be if for Saints vs Liverpool, the "neutral" section was full of Liverpool fans, therefore with two sections singing YNWA loudly? It's a rubbish idea. It's fine for US going to other grounds for the very reason that we can take more and Saints always travel very well to places like Fulham (and most London teams).

I got a flyer with my West Brom tickets too. Seems like a potentially good idea to me - I do like to try to stuff a bottle or two of rubbish lager down my neck at half time and miss the first 5 minutes of the second half (despite saying I won't every time), so I think this could work, to ensure I've drunk and back to my seat on time From a club perspective, the data they could build up from us on this would be useful to them, too.

Totally agree with this. It must be about time a new flavour of the season tune came round ...

That is just brilliant! Well done the Premier League! You just know there will be a Sloop John B "Clatternburg was right" chant now, predictable but amusing nonetheless.

As well as summing up most that is wrong with modern football (i.e. football tourism), I don't think we need it, for a few reasons; - We don't sell out against the lesser teams in the league, so it should be fairly easy for a 'tourist' to buy a couple of tickets in the quieter sections - Against the bigger teams where we do sell out, we'd be depriving genuine Saints of a ticket and allowing the opposition to buy tickets there. (I.e. Man Utd will always sell their allocations, why give them a legitimate chance to get more fans in the ground?) So no, not appropriate.