Patrick Bateman

This paragraph did actually give me a football buzz; "Southampton, relative minnows that they are, have an academy system with a worldwide reputation for producing the best players in the Premier League, and the most expensive players in the world."

Ahhhhh, good days ... (I sound like a proper forum geek)

Groan.

I would say £100 that we don't, but it's been so random so far that we probably will. Along with Roberto Carlos, Wade Elliot and Robbie Fowler.

This is it. Ended off with a "they hate pompeeee"

I have no idea who you are, but you're a comedy genius!

It's quite obvious what I'm saying you utter dinlo.

Well your mate is obviously the f*cking Oracle.

Why are you always so anti him? Did he steal your missus or knock a drink over or something, honestly?

It was your fault.

Was just talking to someone from the forum, our (two person) consensus is that he should knuckle down and play and be told by the 'board' that we will accept bids over a certain amount in the January window. Everyone saves face then.

September ONE.

"Well I sold Bridge for £7m and none of the other players wanted to leave, because I'm such an incredible human being and Chairman"

As hilarious as the crazy frog.

And I don't have a problem with this, but it's just gutting to see the bulk of the team you've been watching (and enjoying) being flogged off. Although the money is very good, it'll still be annoying to see them at other clubs.

Unfortunately, this all sounds 100% plausible.

Is there actually something not right with you? I'm not sure whether to take the p*ss or not, seriously.

I'll offer you £1000, plus; 1. £1 for every "get it forwaaarrddd" I hear during a match 2. £5 for every time I hear "we're the Itchen over here" 3. £2.40 for an anti-Lallana song 4. £0.10 for every "we hate pompeeee" 5. £25 for every time I go down to the concourse and fail to get a beer due to the queues 6. £100 upon relegation Deal?

From reading your posts over the last 3 or 4 weeks, it would appear you're being used, which is a shame.

Say his name in the mirror 3 times. He'll appear in front of you and sell your soul to Liverpool for £15m.

It was a friendly, therefore it was never going to be super entertaining - tell me a friendly you've ever watched that has been great on the eye and a 'classic'?

Not sure if there is a thread covering this, I couldn't see one ... One thing I really want the club to push for this year is a bloody decent cup run. FA or League cup, I don't care ... I'm still f**ked off that Pochettino & co decided to stuff it up against Sunderland. So this season, is it too much to ask for a decent cup run, then maybe a win and a couple of trips round Europe next season? 11th + a cup final : I would take that 8th + a cup win : Ecstatic and give the man a 10 year contract and a massive pay rise > I don't think that's unrealistic this season, if we bolster the defence (Forster, Van Dijk & Vlaar please).

This would be absolutely fantastic. I'd still love to get Vlaar too Vlaar, Van Dijk, Forster + A.N.Other forward player and we'll be fine and should be there or there abouts from 7th to 11th. Maybe a decent cup run this year (!!!!!!!!) ....

Agree - I genuinely think Utd will win the league next season (Very good players, great manager who commands respect and crucially, no European football to sidetrack them). Liverpool will be 5th or 6th, again I'm certain of that. Hence, just to p*ss them off more, it'd be amusing if Man U stepped in ... Anyway, has the tw*t gone yet????

Could not agree more! That bloody FA Cup match ...