Patrick Bateman

Please can we have a follow up stalking report once we know what train they're getting back? Thanks.

Don't be so sensible, it's entirely accurate that Rodgers is a joke who hates Saints.

Welcome, you'll fit in well here!!

That's quite amusing, good effort

He's on strike!

Perfect summary Steve! Let's judge Koeman in a year, two years even, if we don't score many and Long hasn't contributed, then fine. But the team obviously know who and what sort of player they want and you know what, tactically this could really work. If Jay gets back sooner than expected (before Christmas), then that forward 3 would terrify most defences as it has everything.

Top post. As for those wanting to sign Wickham, you have to wonder if they've ever seen him other than on Sky and other than for the 4 or 5 matches where he looked okay (out of 40-odd last season). Even the Sunderland fans don't think he's THAT good and are laughing at £10m for him.

Seriously? I have no words sometimes.

Seriously? I assume you're a parody.

Big man, little man ... have we gone back in time?

I think someone else said this, but it could be a stalking horse to get Burnley to part with Ings and accept our offer, or risk losing Ings for nothing at the end of the season?

He's not; But it's a "Man U XI"

Ooo, I didn't notice that, good spot Art!

He may as well have said "Geordies are thick". Bet that little speech went down really well up there!?

This is brilliant to watch!

Exactly this. He's just not a "Saints signing", can't see it at all, just like I can't see us signing Hernandez - extremes. We'll end up with another striker not many have heard of, or Ings, I'm sure of that. And for those poo-pooing Eto'o, isn't he being touted around Liverpool??

Someone bloody dreadful. Play the U21s, scrape through and treat it with contempt. Just looking at the matches, they all sound like dull opponents, so we can live in hope we'd get Pompey, home.

Of course, as I said, take the biggest f**k off wage going with the longest contract duration, rivals or no rivals, deal or no deal?

Quite! Although given the choice of no contract, shorter contract, or longer contract with your rivals and therefore better family security, what would you do? Moral dilema. Not sure I could ever bring myself to play for Pompey (I'm probably still not even good enough for them, haha), but if they were offering me a decent contract which would give me some security, I may have to swallow my pride ... ?

I think this is worthy of a whole topic on its own to be honest!

A very serious question irene. When you go to a party at Artur's, what do you take with you?

Shush, don't pee on my anti-Pochettino bonfire

As I said in another piece, Pochettino should arguably have done much better with the group of players he had, if he was that good and they were that good.

That wasn't in the public quote, obviously I guess. But has he actually been told that he's not rated? If so, do we know why?

That was exactly my point about last season. He's a class goalie, we all love the guy, but his niggling injuries where he either couldn't play, or played while semi-fit (due to inadequate back-up) meant we dropped points. Forster is also an excellent goalie, I'd love to keep both. Not sure I buy the "if he doesn't play week in week out he won't play for Poland either" - many goalies play for their countries despite not playing every week and in the case of Poland, isn't Szczesny going to be their number 1 anyway? I think Arsenal are going to have a very very good season this year and he'll get more plaudits. I hope we can keep both to fight it out with each other and breed some decent competitive spirit that's been lacking in that area!