Patrick Bateman

Wrong. He's had both accounts since 2012. Just he's now using the 06 one, not the 05 one and he's added LFC before the 06.

I'm not being funny, but the shirts are made for ultra lean footballers. These players are superb athletes, generally, with a minute amount of body fat. Most football fans are not lean. So do you want to see loads of men and women looking like a fat f*cking mess in their normal size, or do you want them to buy a size (or 3) bigger to hide the rolls?

Zaha OR Young, it says. Would actually prefer Young - yes he dives but so did Lallana. Young is probably more developed as a player to get straight in the team. Won't happen anyway though, but a nice thought.

Surely that's not a rigid formation and we'd be using other formations to play different teams. I don't see us being as arrogant as we were under Pochettino where we expected other teams to adapt to our one formation (and then have no plan b). I think we'll see variations of 433, 352 and so on. We will see! But regardless, at the moment, I'd rather we did get Hernandez in - proven pedigree and easily good for 15-20 goals provided he gets the service. I like the look of Pelle as a player, but he hasn't been scoring against lower league opposition, so would rather we didn't rely on him as a sole '9'. Turkish and Bateman in serious football discussion shock. I'm off for a lie down.

Didier Drogba, would have been awful. Especially when we were pushing for Wade Elliot.

This paragraph did actually give me a football buzz; "Southampton, relative minnows that they are, have an academy system with a worldwide reputation for producing the best players in the Premier League, and the most expensive players in the world."

Ahhhhh, good days ... (I sound like a proper forum geek)

Groan.

I would say £100 that we don't, but it's been so random so far that we probably will. Along with Roberto Carlos, Wade Elliot and Robbie Fowler.

This is it. Ended off with a "they hate pompeeee"

I have no idea who you are, but you're a comedy genius!

It's quite obvious what I'm saying you utter dinlo.

Well your mate is obviously the f*cking Oracle.

Why are you always so anti him? Did he steal your missus or knock a drink over or something, honestly?

It was your fault.

Was just talking to someone from the forum, our (two person) consensus is that he should knuckle down and play and be told by the 'board' that we will accept bids over a certain amount in the January window. Everyone saves face then.

September ONE.

"Well I sold Bridge for £7m and none of the other players wanted to leave, because I'm such an incredible human being and Chairman"

As hilarious as the crazy frog.

And I don't have a problem with this, but it's just gutting to see the bulk of the team you've been watching (and enjoying) being flogged off. Although the money is very good, it'll still be annoying to see them at other clubs.

Unfortunately, this all sounds 100% plausible.

Is there actually something not right with you? I'm not sure whether to take the p*ss or not, seriously.

I'll offer you £1000, plus; 1. £1 for every "get it forwaaarrddd" I hear during a match 2. £5 for every time I hear "we're the Itchen over here" 3. £2.40 for an anti-Lallana song 4. £0.10 for every "we hate pompeeee" 5. £25 for every time I go down to the concourse and fail to get a beer due to the queues 6. £100 upon relegation Deal?

From reading your posts over the last 3 or 4 weeks, it would appear you're being used, which is a shame.