SNSUN

I don't tend to go at night, but if I did, to save walking through the whole house to get to the toilet, I would pee in a condom and leave it in my sick bucket.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

All womenz need some loving. My Golden Retriever is still a virgin at the age of 4, he would gladly assist.

Do they do a fat version?

i'm going to buy the 'fritzl' deluxe model. I'll keep her in my basement.

whoever thought of creating stuffed and china penguins is a git.

been there, done that, couldn't afford the t shirt. quickest £80 i ever spent.

tis repeated wednesday too and at some point in the week it's repeated on bbc 3.

Friday - Up at 3am for work. Bed at 8. Saturday - Up at 3am for work. Bed at 8 after Saints buggered up. Sunday - Up at 4am for work. (Lie in - Woo!) Went to Thorpe Park for fireworks which raised the rating. It would have been a 2/10 but in lieu of a very smart Fred sponsorship, I give it 3/10.

Until you've had to share your bed with a penguin, you can't understand how horrific it is. Of course, I'm not saying my missus is a penguin...

I have a personal tendency to using "no worries" a hell of a lot at work, which someone pointed out is an Australianism. I am also guilty of using "frankly", "at the end of the day" and "Basically". Stone me.

Bin Laden is hiding between her legs.

Penguins are evil. They spy at me and make me nervous, I wonder what they're plotting. My missus loves penguins, she has dozens of stuffed, porcelain and china penguins scattered around the house. Freaks me out. Then I notice that in various garden centres, penguins seem to be the Christmas animal of choice. Nottcutts are the biggest culprit, their Christmas section is literally a nightmarish Hell, full of the evil little furry bastards. Down with penguins.

small passages of play made us look quite good, but even with a saved penalty bristol city deserved to win. Not content with a keeper as captain, drew played with heart and deserves it in my opinion.

small passages of play made us look quite good, but even with a saved penalty bristol city deserved to win. Not content with a keeper as captain, drew played with heart and deserves it in my opinion.

a fox and a duck. I'd call it a f... You can work it out.

It gives me an evening of not having to talk to my missus. For that reason alone, cinemas are worth their weight in gold.

I will have forked out £4960 more of my money to TSW.

I would cross a bull with a fox. I'd call it a bullox.

A man with a rainbow badge asked me for my number the other day. He seemed nice so I gave him it. On a completely unrelated topic I keep getting anonymous phone calls from someone saying they want to shove their mast into my stern. I'm not "down" with boat lingo so I'm currently ignoring them.

Got a feeling today's going to be the day we'll break the curse. We'll draw though. 1-1.

You're still giving him waaaaaaay too much credit!

Can we add "Most Ignored", "Sexiest ladyperson" and "Biggest Wannabe" to the list?

I have done the first two. I want to get my stomach pumped. To see what it'd be like.

Today - Work til midday, bugger all in the afternoon, bed at 8 for work tomorrow morning. Tomorrow - Work til midday, watch Saints game somewhere, bed at 8. Sunday - Work til midday, Wii action with my sister, then possibly off to Thorpe Park on a freebie to watch the fireworks. Bed at about half ten for work. Plus sexy time with my missus. I'm going to be knackered. I predict a 4/10 this weekend.