Crab Lungs

My, my, we're all on good form tonight! I trust Um is just jesting... or at least I'd like to think he is. He better be, or he'll never got my vote for FotB!

I'm stitching my loafters to the knee area of my suit and going as Ted Bates statue.

Right, I've cooled off enough to ask; WWAFOTBD?

Anyway, I think I'm going to leave this board now, proper. Moan, moan f()cking moan.. and it's now making me moan about the moaning. Best couple of years we've had in 15 odd years and we've still got irrational, moodswinging, wrist-slitting weirdos who complain about everything. Waaah, moss on the stadium, waaahhhhh car park prices, waaaaahhh I don't like the beer... it's no wonder Cortese would rather speak to people in a one-to-one basis as opposed to giving the floor to 300 dribbling sociopaths. Don't you think we had some bigger objectives to aim for other than lopping off a few clots of stadium support algae? Yes, you're going by coach. You've known that for months now. Get over it. And while you're at it, even if this copper had said the right thing, I've no doubt he'd still have been wrong anyway. Weeks before we've had the same old people with the same old agendas salivating at his next statement.* *And I shouldn't have to write a disclaimer, but I'm going to. That's not excusing what he said and I'm not disagreeing that going by coach isn't a bad idea, it is - I'm just keen to underline how f()cking boring it is listening to all this guff. WWAFOTBD? Bore me to f()cking tears. That's me done I think. Adios.

In times like these it's fair to ask: WWAFOTBD?* *what would a fan on the board do?

Oh yes

I thought this was going to be about Jordan Henderson

I was just thinking... Howabout a little challenge? Take over a considerably small club in one of Europe's leagues, give yourself a £5m transfer kitty but only £100,000 bank balance and spend as little or as much as you want. The only drawback is, the more you spend, the more pressure you've got to "win" something and secure the prize money - all of which helps if you don't want Mr Andronikou knocking on your door on behalf of the creditors. I'm calling it the "Pompey Challenge". Anyone in on it? FWIW, I think I'm going to take Kerkyra this way. I'm going spunk the lot and see if I can keep up with the big boys in the Greek Superleague. Basically, I'm going to have to qualify for your Europe this year if I want to stay solvent

Ah, what the hell, here you go; and another of their famed "away days" with the blue army...

If I find the time, I am definitely going to do some more LOL@Skates stuff!

struggling corner shop salesman.

I'll have a look a bit later, but if IIRC, you should be receiving loads of offers from South American agents by now, assuming you've started! Decided that to really get into a game I'm going to want to really "feel" the club I'm playing for and the area it's in. In this instance, I'm going all nostalgic and taking over Kerkyra in Greece; Better known to us Anglophiles as Corfu. Tiddly club, tiddly stadium, tiddly budget, tiddly squad, big ambitions. Why? Because I holidayed there several times as a child and once as an adult and thoroughly enjoyed my time there. OK, so here goes...

Philadelphia Union laughed off my interest... then offered me the job. :-/

I can feel an Israeli/Jewish girl thread coming on... they're curious-looking creatures, aren't they? Seriously though, would love to go and visit myself.

Right, the toy's are out of the pram. It's official. I resigned straight after losing to Dacia 3-2 away. Pathetic result (not performance) from my lot, especially considering they're the probably the highest paid group of player in the division (Pompey, anyone?). So what next? The Thai U23's job, Philadelphia Union, Maritimo (could do with a warmer climate and Funchal seems like a good choice) and the Ath.Bilbao "B" team. Quite fancy managing the "B" side for a while, not focusing on results, but improving the players. Uh oh, I'm turning into Steve Wigley. Or Steve Kember. Or Tony Parkes.

Yeah, he does seem a real nice guy, a little crazy too - in the Martin Allen mould. What's he like? Personable, I'm assuming? I have to say, I'm not too bothered about my game anymore - a three-week break has left me longing for a new challenge. I might start a new game or I might... apply for another position. Hmmmm, what to do! PS: Moldova is fun, and I'm liking the sound of Scandanavia... swaps?

That may be right, but what about the moss on the stadium exterior? Makes us look tacky and unprofessional.

http://www.askadkins.info

Sean "scratchy voice" Dyche? Haha, that said, can see Cortese appointing someone like him as opposed to a bigger name or established dinosaur... Rather him than Clotterill, anyway! Will be interesting to see how adkins gets on at Arsenal. Glad to hear you're going ok in the league, we've just imploded at home against our biggest rivals and fellow title challengers Sheriff... With a little help from the cheating game engine of course. Player sent off reduced us to countering them, spirited effort but the game engine decided that, as usual, after 60minutes, we were a spent force and never had another chance. Now playing catch up and they're yet to slip up

Yeah, would be pretty surprised if it were a home sell-out. And whilst my geography is usually good, somehow I totally forgot Cardiff!

Great work! Had two big wins (each about £200) at the start of September but now I've flopped out in the past four weeks of domestic football. I'm still up but it's two teams who have consistently let me down twice who I now despise with a passion; Liverpool and Rangers.

Haha, just seen this! It appears you are someone who enjoys a challenge in a foreign country!

If you're really daring, there are leagues out there for the likes of Anguilla, Surinam etc. I can point you in the direction of the leagues you can download if you fancy a crack at it? It's quite fun, but in a way it's quite difficult as you're completely hamstrung in so many aspects. You don't know the players, the players you're linked with, the strength or the opposition in the league and you're guaranteed to be working to a tight budget. My objective is to have the club qualified for the Champions League proper, but we'll see how that goes! Done all the tactics myself (very, very Adkins-esque style of play), the training and recruited all my own backroom staff. Likewise, overhauling their youth system as by the time next season rolls around, I want to have at least 2-3 regens who can step up to the first team. I'm also quite tempted to try and get Surinam qualified for a World Cup, or even the Netherlands Antilles.

Oh, didn't even realise! Cheers for the heads up though... have to say, quite surprised if they sell out but then again, like you said, we're probably their nearest divisional rivals so it makes sense.