Crab Lungs

Genuine question: If they win and make a club DVD of the victory, will they ask us for the seed investment to get the first 1000 copies made?

Uh oh, take the decorations down, Bournemouth. Remove the numbered player signs from the players gardens a la Texas High School Football. Barnard's equalised.

They're gonna win the Cup, they're gonna win the Cup and now you're gonna believe them... They're gonna win the Cup! Expect Dorset to have a county-wide day of celebration and open top bus parade if they win.

LMFAO That's brilliant Truly an excellent riposte to the excitable Bompey fans

Helluva prediction: http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread660276/pg1 First time on ATS probably

Damn it. Your dignified reply makes me feel guilty! :-o

I had to get that off my chest. Like you said, fans aren't objective but I've tried to be as much as possible. They're annoying. They're irritating. I've risen above it for a good few years now. Surely you can afford me a rant having waited to so long?

SimonC and the decent AFCB fans aside, a personal message from me: Dear Bucket Rattlers Stop it, just stop it. Enough is enough. Your infatuation with us has surpassed even the mildest mannered of Saints supporters now. Those whom, like me, went along to support and contribute to one of the money spinning friendlies between the two clubs when you were in dire financial straights – only to be abused remorselessly for the duration of the game. “Scummers! Scummers!” you shouted at us as we stood there, completely bemused as to where this hatred had come from. Many, like me, had always looked out for Bournemouth results and had cheered whenever the tannoy announcer at The Dell or St.Mary’s announced that the Cherries had won. You have left us feeling rather confused and if truth be told, a little angry. I know I am. You accuse us of arrogance. That’s an incredible statement coming from a side that has dwelled beneath us for decades. Sure, some Saints fans have in the past alluded to the fact that we are probably too big a club for this league. That’s the truth. If you’d take the time to look at the facts then you might agree, too. We average more than many Premier League clubs and likewise, Championship clubs. However, don’t be fooled; we KNOW implicitly that football is not decided on attendances alone. We know we must earn the right to get out of this division like everyone else. Don’t confuse “arrogance” with what is clearly an educated and correct assessment of the size of our club. We are a medium sized Premier League club and no amount of bleating and accusations of arrogance will change that. Yet you must also remember that despite this, most if not all Saints fans recognise that we have no god-given right to be a Premier League side. So, with that in mind, please dispel any misconceptions you have about us being arrogant. Bournemouth, on the other hand, can be dutifully proud of their own snobbish and arrogant behaviour. One season at level pegging with us divisionally and you’ve gone into meltdown. You have the temerity to accuse us of arrogance while chomping on your sticks of rock. Then, at another level, you are very quick to forget that we did help you in the times you needed financial help. Neil Moss, remember him? Advance payment. Loan players like Surman and Lallana in recent years… remember them? Friendlies, fundraisers and pitch maintenance equipment too – you even received help from our ground staff! Is it me, or have you forgotten to thank us? Christ, it’s like dealing with a spoilt child. And before you begin whining that I’ve mentioned that we’ve helped you and you accuse my comments of atypical arrogance that you’ve received from us, please remember one thing; Did you, or did you not receive that help? Yes. Yes you did. If anyone is arrogant, it is you for completely bypassing those parts of your history. But we’re not done yet. Oh no, I’ve still more points to make. Let’s talk about your “plucky underdog” mentality. “Big bad Southampton” are coming to visit. “Nasty, horrible Southampton” whose fans kill babies and rape women (and men, probably too – I’ve seen the scaremongering rubbish in your local paper from Neil Meldrum). Led by their evil mastermind, Don Cortese! Give it a rest you morons. You like to remind us that we too, are a “nothing club”. In terms of the top six or so clubs in the Premier League and a few traditional founding football members spattered across the leagues or now defunct, yes, you’re right. We’ve achieved nothing. Yet, if our best achievements include treading water in the top division for 27 consecutive years amongst the real big, bad bullies of the Premier League and a couple of cup final appearances, then I'd take that over "plucky Bournemouth". Remind us, what have you achieved? Oh, that’s right. You’re a “plucky underdog”, I remember now. Still, teams of a similar size have achieved far more than you in recent times. Blackpool? Well, they’re in the Premier League. Hull? Swindon? Notts County? Oldham? They’ve all been in the top division over the past twenty years. Brighton? Colchester, S****horpe, Plymouth, Luton, Southend, Bury, Crewe, Walsall, Stockport, Doncaster? They’ve got further than you, too. That’s a lot of plucky underdogs not weighed down with a significant chip on their shoulders. Hell, even MK Dons have won more in their short existence than you lot. So that makes you a "plucky, underachieving underdog". Diddums. So if you’re going to remind us that our existence in the Premier League was pointless than I am almost duty-bound to remind you that you’ve been nothing in the lower leagues too. Forgive me. Oh no, wait - poke it. I'm not done yet. And by the way, I’d take our Matt Le Tissier memories to your Roger Boli moments every day of the week, ta. At first, you reminded me of Portsmouth’s annoying little brother with all the “Scummer” comments. It was almost as if you were pulling at your big brothers coat tails and saying “Look, look, we called them a scummer too!”. But over the past few days (possibly weeks), you’ve been frothing at the mouth, fantasising about playing us again and creating some sort of rivalry. From being Portsmouth’s annoying, perhaps retarded little brother you’ve transformed. Forgive me, but in my imagination now you’ve morphed into a crazed, wide-eyed stalker. You’re obsessed with us, yet you are convinced that despite our constant reaffirmation that we don’t care about you, it’s us who is stalking you. Truth is you’ve been tailing us ever since the final whistle at Burton Albion. “Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be, we’re going to St.Mary’s, que sera sera” Remember that? How cringeworthy. Yet you say its our Cup final and not yours? Are you sure about that, or are you just being arrogant? Hang on, I thought you said you were the “plucky underdogs”? Which is it, Cherries? So, from a benign if slightly annoying neighbour to a crazy, rabidly obsessed one. The type whom is always peering through his binoculars and into our garden. Dare we show any affection? Cherries, you’ll never be our rivals for any long-term period of time. All that you’ve achieved from your continuous baiting, bickering and belittling of Saints is a loss of empathy and ultimately, support from Saints fans – which, if truth be told, you had in abundance up until a couple of years back. We feel more inclined to laugh at you now than help you but anyway, that's what you always wanted, right? You never wanted our sympathy, you keep reminding us. That's ok then - just don't ever come rattling your buckets this way again because it won't be money going in it this time. Some of us who were present at one of those many fundraising games have never forgotten our “welcome” and how ungracious you were and continue to be. That said, most Saints fans have only come to realise in recent days in the build up to this game what prized pillocks most of you are. You have been spiteful and petty. You have been rude and arrogant. With any luck, you'll finally be put in your rightful place (sectioned, if I were to keep with the analogy I described above) tomorrow when the Premier League juggernaut rolls into your quaint, 12000 capacity but rarely full, field of dreams. How's that for arrogance? Enjoy your Cup Final. Afterthoughts... PS: Many of your fans have arrogantly panned The Dell and/or St. Mary’s in recent times. Whatever your observation, at the very least our stadiums have always had four sides operational. Think about it. PPS: You’ve also criticised our attendances. Have a think about that one… we get more than many Premier League and Championship clubs. Remind us of what you get again? PPPS: Get your own radio station, you’ve been clogging up Radio Solent for years now and it’s getting as tiresome as your stalker-like advances towards us. PPPPS: If I ever come into to any money I'm going to partner up with Marc Jackson, buy AFBC, demolish Dean Court and put a monkey chicken petting zoo there. At least it'll guarantee more than 5,000 visitors every Saturday.

I feel compelled to write a terse response detailing Mr Meldrum's inaccuracies and poor article. I'm pressed for time however, so I'll just quote this ONE example: ...and settle for calling him a d1ckhead. You're a d1ckhead.

Japan

Utter pr1ck... he's just a fat bloke.

No Gary Roberts from Huddersfield?

Nice of Sir Clive Woodward to check in as well.

lmao@Radio Solent, quality!

I'm never suggesting another song since I'm still bitter about my 'Papa Waigo you're so brown' suggestion was rebuffed.

..and I'd absolutely agree. Sometimes, you have to look beyond maybe one or two deficiencies to see the real quality of a player. For me, Fuller always used to get a lot of stick. One reason because he'd come from Portsmouth (moronic reasoning by, you've guessed it - morons). Another reason because he didn't set the world on fire whilst he was here. Why? I've no doubt the feeling or lack of warmth received from the 'fans' contributed somewhat. What they did see was a hit-and-miss ex-Portsmouth striker low on confidence. They didn't see the true quality he had. They didn't see that being a striker isn't entirely about banging in 20 goals or more a season and that's it. There is more to any position on the field than that. Then again, try telling that to one of many resident mongoloids. "Ug ug no goals skate ****" wouldn't be a surprising reply. Yet Fuller is one of MANY examples, and there are even better ones than that. In the past, previous to Marsden, Crouch and others signing, I'd find myself on here (or one of the previous boards) defending a player who had yet to even pull on the shirt for Saints! There was a conversation between me and another on here (can't remember who) about Davenport not too long ago. Many people were saying he was one of our biggest contributors to relegation in 04/05. I dismissed this and mentioned Nilsson and Jakobsson - who were, in my opinion, two of the worst players I'd ever seen play for Saints. Then another poster (can't remember who still, sorry) backed this up with a fantastic post and statistic showing that Davenport only played at most, half a dozen games whilst Nilsson/Jakobsson played far more so, in reality, probably contributed more (or less), depending on how you look at it. Though for some reason, it's Davenport they remember and Davenport they blame. I know CD was a disappointment (especially considering what an excellent prospect he was at Coventry) but he was most definitely not one of the most significant reasons as to why we got relegated. However, he probably had a bad game (Villa, home, in particular?) and that is what people remember.

#turnsMattLeGodmodeon That is two former players... must be one past/one present #turnsMattLeGodmodeoff

I posted this a few pages back, but this is a personal favourite: They may call us Scum but they're only deflecting the obvious. Even the soundtrack sounds like something you tarmac a drive to

A little reminder (as if you needed one) of the passion (bordering on 'rabid passion') the blue few have:

A young Crab Lungs received his first and only police caution at that game after Mikkel Beck equalised. Naughty chav.

This is exactly what I try to say to people when they call someone "sh1t" because of one or two incidences. Few people (especially the mongoloids that we've got) rarely take into account the overall contribution a player makes to the team and to the game. Oh hell, some even judge players on "flicks and tricks". They don't do anything, but they look good so ... those players must be good, right? It really, really winds me up and I'm glad someone has brought this topic up...

I'm not being sarcastic :-o

This is so unbelievably accurate. Great post.

What are the odds if the Skates go up, they'll contest that too - and end up with both?

Was initially enamoured by that moron, thinking it was refreshing to see someone speaking their mind. I've since realised (even before his comment about Saints) that he's just an attention seeking yokel. Doing a good job though, tbf.