Crab Lungs

Lol, buffoonery of the highest order - who did they get to do the demolition? The chuckle brothers? Can't believe they actually were permitted to do a demolition job so close to a residential area

If I could 'like this' facebook-stylee, I would. I am assuming you've seen Stephen Fry on America. If not, get the DVD's. Major likes. The blokes brilliant. An educated, compassionate, intellectually enriching view on the America we don't often see and Fry is maginficent. As always! He's defo one person (along with Brian Blessed) who I would inivite to my 'fantasy dinnerparty' - imagine the anecdotes! I would'nt mind if he showed up as General Melchett though, that would be amusing. Nayyyyyyy

Ties in with the American's lust for the franchise theme, I suppose...

That was feckin' awesome, then again, anything directly influenced from the genius Stephen Fry himself normally is. Thoroughly enjoyed reading that.

http://cgi.ebay.com/OWN-AN-ENGLISH-FOOTBALL-CLUB-TRANMERE-ROVERS-FC_W0QQitemZ280378440862QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4147db7c9e&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14

I can only assume Corp is still trying to find in Niko as he hasn't surfaced for a while. LOL... Portsmouth fans, such fantasists....

Y'know, the only paragraph I had doubts about was the with what I said about Bopara. I'm not writing his career off completely and I am aware he is still the infancy of his Test career... However, I don't believe Bopara to be mentally tough enough for these big series.... yet. You might argue that the only way to learn in play him in these series, but I would beg to differ as that could be at detriment to the team. Anyway, for what it's worth, I hope proves me wrong. I don't think he will in this series though, however. Having said that... this Aussie side is pretty poor so maybe that says something about alot of our players abilities?

I just got on a roll ...

Oh dear, where is Nikola Kalinic, Corp? Is he back in Pompey? Is he in Croatia? Does anyone know his location? I've made a little game for you, Corpy. Here's an accurate depiction of Portsmouth's dockyard, sketched only last Tuesday. As you can see, sailors frolick with reckless abandon and the wenches are in the riotous of moods! However, somewhere amongst this feral crowd is Niko - and he's lost! Can you help find him? You get a bonus point for pointing out Riquelme - who has been wandering around the docks for nearly four years now...

LOL FWIW... This is so so difficult to decide, and would be easier if we could choose thirty. :-( I am going on the assumption that you can select 2 goalkeepers and are not enforced to pick 3, freeing up another space for an outfield player... Despite at GK, I believe there is great cover everywhere on the pitch; 2 LB's, 1 RB, 3 CB's and Jagielka, who can play at RB, LB, CB and CM. In midfield, we've 5 central midfielders, 2 who specialise in ball retention and good use of the ball (Carrick and Huddlestone, the latter who is grossly underrated IMO) which is going to crucial in the more difficult games and hotter climates, of which there will be a couple despite it being winter in SA. Furthermore, 3 offensive midfielders who can nick a goal for you; Gerrard, Lampard and Barry. Better still, Barry can also play LB or CB as well as CM. My only true concern is the complete lack of pace on the wing; Beckham, obviously lacks pace so the only two wide men I have who possess pace are Wright-Phillips and Lennon. Out of the two of them, perhaps Lennon is the most inconsistent but I believe that between him and Walcott, Lennon has performed on a more consistent basis in the PL. The difference between him and Walcott is that Theo still looks like a sprinter, Lennon looks like a winger - regardless of his infrequency. Ashley Young can consider himself incredibly unlucky. It's bad, but I'm choosing a squad without a natural LW. Upfront, I've gone for the pace of Defoe, the explosive qualities of Rooney, the consistency and aerial threat of Crouch, the ethic and bustle of Beattie and the proven track record of Michael Owen - who I believe will rediscover his form now he's got a manager who will kick him up the backside but more importantly, know how to handle him. MY ENGLAND WC SQUAD Green Foster A Cole Bridge Johnson Jagielka Woodgate Terry Ferdinand Huddlestone Lampard Gerrard Barry Wright-Phillips Beckham Lennon J Cole Carrick Crouch Defoe Owen Rooney Beattie Starting 11 (4-4-2) Green, G Johnson, A Cole, Terry ©, Ferdinand, Gerrard, J Cole, Lampard, Barry, Rooney, Owen. MISSING THE CUT Just missing out: Hart, Lescott, Warnock, Richards, A Young, Walcott, Milner, Hargreaves and Agbonlahor. I've picked Beattie just ahead of Heskey as I believe he has unfinished business. I've always believed he may have lacked alot of what international players had ability-wise but he made up for that in attitude, application and work-ethic. He's not phased by big games and would definitely be a player with the correct mentality who could step up and perform in them. I'm one of the few people I suppose who regarded the signing of Beattie by Stoke as a masterstroke. He's always still had it (Everton completely mismanaged him - he's not a lone striker!) and IMO he was never given a fair crack of the whip at international level. He sufferered like some of the other great english forwards like Ferdinand, Fowler etc from having simply better partnerships ahead of him. Milner, Young, Richards, Walcott and Lescott are also unfortunate to miss my 'cut'... one of the easier exclusions was probably Walcott. Having said that, he's just no consistent enough and it is not as if Lennon and Wright-Phillips cannot offer the same - and they have performed more consistently in the PL for years. Richards was difficult to leave at home though, but Jagielka just has the edge on versatility. I enjoyed doing that, I think :-o ___________________________ A few more players for everyones consideration... I've no idea why I have suggested some of them though - I'm going on the assumption that the likes of Sturridge, Kightly and Ebanks-Blake COULD have a good season and play themselves into contention... some are previous caps and some are possible fancies for the squad - if you're fecking mad enough... Carson, Kirkland, Hart, Robinson, James. S Taylor, Mancienne, King, Shawcross, Konchesky, Turner, W Brown, G Neville, P Neville, Cahill, L Young, Shorey, Warnock, Onuoha, Naughton, Wheater, A Gardner, C Davies, Knight, Baines, Dawson, Lescott, A Ferdinand, Campbell. Downing, Delph, Richardson, Etherington, Barton, O'Hara, Nolan, Davis, Pennant, C Gardner, Bullard, Sidwell, Parker, Muamba, Reo-Coker, Jenas, M Johnson, Cattermole, Kightly, Bentley, Adam Johnson, Whitehead. Ebanks-Blake, Zamora, Andy Johnson, Ashton, Windass, Sturridge, Campbell, Nugent, Heskey, Davies, D Bent, C Cole. Retired: Carragher, Scholes.... but if you were hypothetically speaking... If only Rory Delap were English :=(

Bell in hitting-a-six shocker Fair play to him, I'm one of his biggest critics but I just hope that when play resumes he can control his nerves and build a good partnership with Strauss - who is proving a bit of a talisman by leading from the front: again. Bit peeved Bopara failed again - I haven't seen the wicket yet but I'm starting to get the feeling he is just not cut out for the high pressure Test games. He's a consistent failure in the big series and someone maybe with a more steely determination would be better suited. Broad... hmmmm, he's quite useful for the bat and for that reason alone I think he's being retained. He's not bad against the lesser sides (like Bopara) but when it comes to the big series it appears he's just not ready. Maybe he needs to go back to County cricket for the last couple of tests and be replaced by a seasoned, fired-up campaigner like Sidebottom (maybe even Harmy?) for the run-in. Hopefully SB will find his 'next gear' in the next couple of years before the next Ashes series but he does look a bit short at the moment. Not too worried about Cook though, to be honest. He's proven at Test Level but appears to have found himself in a bit of a sticky patch of late. Still, no reason or excuse to cull him... and he's still got another innings (potentially) to start scoring runs again. I think we're very fortunate that even though we appear to be carrying two or three players, we are fortunate enough that the Aussies are carrying a couple more than us. If we play our cards right and make the right selections for last two tests, we'll get that urn back. Optimistic shout I know but maybe, just maybe, if we can knock up in excess of 400 or so and have a right go at the Aussies on the fourth day then maybe we can extend our lead - and deservedly so.

Oh yes, Keane. A caaant of the highest order.

I'd actually defend Ian Wright here on that one. We, as fans, do dish it out but when we get a bit of stick back we do like to whinge to the OB. The list by Saint77 was excellent

I'm feeling a bit sorry for Corp this morning, actually, with all of us rounding upon him. You'd think with their millions of fans, at least one other Skate would be on here to help support him - but no, not one - Corp keeps on fighting the good fight! I doff my hat to you, Mr Fish.

LOL, still struggling for money eh, Corp?

Portsmouth have never ever ridded themselves of the chip that remains firmly on their shoulders. Even now, two divisions above they spend waaaaaay too much time debating us and in some respects, working themselves into a jealous frenzy. As for their attendance once upon a time, ha. Charlton had over 80,000 once at the Valley and other smaller clubs in seemingly smaller grounds had 50,000 plus in their glory days. If we were in the Premier League with a capacity of, say, 45,000... back in 02/03, we'd have sold out games against the top 4-5, and probably averaged 36,000. But hey, that's conjecture - which is more than could be said for Portsmouth's new spaceage football stadium. Completion date, never. Regardless, you'll notice that Pompey fans will never, ever let go of the past, ever... despite it never really being a valid stick to beat us with.

The obvious come to mind; Lee Bowyer, Alan Smith, Paul Dickov... yet, I can stomach them to a certain degree. There is one man above all who really grinds my gears. Gary Neville. Y'know, I really did rate him at RB before all his injuries though I could never let myself 'like' him as a person. Even having had a personal run in when I was younger with the Neville brothers (both wa...nkers, funnily enough) I never let that cloud my judgement afterwards. Yet, the more I saw this shop-stewarding caaant, the more I detested his rat featured face and ignorant scowl. This, for me, sums up how much of a pr1ck he is: On top of this, I am even more confused... 'cos whenever I hear him talk, he appears to be a dour, yet intelligent guy with the impression of 'good future manager' all over him. :s Still a caaant though.

Shall we all assume it takes about a week to fly from Croatia, Corp?

Love Sir Bobby, so genuine, intelligent yet has a crazy, dopey side to him. Like someone said above, you would be hard pressed to find someone with a bad word to say about him - only amusing and heartfelt anecdotes of a decent, genuine man with a quirky sense of humour. Having said that he is both an exceptional man and exceptional coach and I wish nothing but the best for him. I would love him to beat cancer again however I believe, from what is in the media, it is pretty bad this time. The picture was saddening yet also heartening in a way - the smile and zest for life seems to be ever-present in Sir Bobby and I can only hope that he beats the big C once more and remains with us for the foreseeable future. Top, top, top bloke.

But they do have Eugene Bopp now... I'm sure that'll put an extra couple of thousand on their gates LOL

Keedy, Croft?

Lol, good thread. Like the subject, too.

The FULL 16,000 eh Corp? You're really hitting it with the big boys. I just bet you wish you could fit more in now you've (almost) signed Eugene Bopp

Nobody has mentioned the importance of mental fitness - something that is integral should you wish to squeeze that extra 5-10% out of your performance like we did under Strachan. Late goals being conceded and none being scored in our favour can also be attributed to the mental strain/tiredness of the players just as much as physical fitness. This is exactly what Pardew may have been referring to when he was telling us about regaining that winning mentality. That's it, a mentality. We could very well be the fittest group of players in the league (and I wouldn't be surprised, we returned earlier than everyone else) but if we're not in the right shape mentally it could go all to pot. Hence why Pardew is probably happy with the physical fitness and has alluded to the mental shortcomings. In fact, I'm sure identified that problem as soon as he saw the team train for the first time.

Probably not enough to cover Eugene Bopp's wages.