The suspect is described as white, 18, between 5ft 5ins and 5ft 9ins, bare chested, with short brown hair, and wearing grey Umbro tracksuit bottoms and trainers.
I did once manage to get one of my neighbours cats to run up at least halfway up the house, it was fighting with my cat so I sprayed them with the hose.
I prefer the real dawn chorus but without at least the magpies, the crows aren't too bad. I do tend to let the 2 cats out at 5am to keep the mags away from the fish.
I know what you mean, I get woken up at 4am every morning by the ****ing magpies and crows, now there's a noise that gets you stressed very easily. I'd rather have a sparrow waking me up than these 2 species.
It's not just 1 or 2 either there's loads of them, some mornings when I walk my dog I can count up to about 30 odd crows and 30-40 odd magpies in the field.
ps - name the sparrow Jack.
Why not go and play one of those fantasy games where you dress up as elves/fairies and prance about in the woods throwing spears and fairy dust at each other whilst high as a kite.
Failing that, go play golf.
They've been around for years. Used to get alot of them when I was phoning around looking for Labourers for jobs, some are pretty damn awful whilst some you can't get enough of. I'd sometimes hide my ID then phone people just to listen to them, how sad I was.