Lighthouse

This would-be Scottish football hard man proves you're never too 'ard for a bag of Haribo Starmix

Looks like he was trying to do a Hudson and the left wing stalled at the last second. Looks like. Nick, I would be more worried about the thousands of people who will die in car crashes today and driving your family to the airport. You're right though, horrible to watch.

I seem to remember we didn't bother with Beattie. That went well.

Decent price for a very capable player. With him and Targett LB is starting to look good for the forseable future. As weird as it sounds, I'm glad Ryan isn't 'too good' for us. By that I mean I can't see Liverpool chucking a desperate£25m at him any time soon, so he should stick around a while.

Even Villa aren't stupid enough to buy their own manager.

His talent being 3 goals in half a season, getting suspended for kicking a Geordie in the nuts and head butting a team mate?

Day two of the pre season tests. Vettel seems to be setting the pace in the Ferrari with the Mercedes looking pretty quick too. McLaren having a lot of problems with reliability and haven't really set a competitive lap time yet.

The nose is a bit more Phil Thompson than last years Steve Bruce.

There could well be a God but he isn't necessarily a good guy. I remain open minded, agnostic if you will.

It is inarguable really. I think clips like this should be shown to children in all schools, churches, Mosques, synogog... sinnergogue... sin... Jewish thingies. It should be shown under the pretence, "we've told you what we believe, this is an alternative view point. Make your own mind up before choosing a faith."

I wouldn't start with Mane and EE personally. I know it's a bit of a football cliché but having pace on the bench to come on against tired legs can be pretty useful. Just look at Long when we played Leicester. I'd start with Tadic and Elia. JWP, Reed and Davis making up the rest of the midfield assuming the other candidates aren't fit yet. I'd perceiver with Gardos who has been excellent up until last week. I don't even think he was that bad against Palace.

Aside from that one goal against City, his on the pitch contribution was utterly forgettable. A worse signing IMO.

Sharp may have just won it for Leeds at Huddersfield.

A shame to see him go as I don't think we've outgrown him as a player at all. As a reliable midfield option to have there are few better. Sadly he wants to be more than that, a regular first team player. I hope he gets his England call up one day but in a world where Tom Cleverley has more caps than Matt Le Tissier, I very much doubt it. Is he really worse than Henderson or Carrick?

Bit of a lack of sponsors at Sauber. It looks dull but at least it's not grey. I have to say I like the new Ferrari.

An interesting debate to be had here I think. A documentary into legalised brothels in Germany. Exploitative and sexist or a safer, cleaner environment for girls who would only be working the streets anyway?

The new Schteeve. Look familiar? It's pretty much the force India livery with inverted colours on the back. Its going to be a waste of time having a colour TV next year. So far it's a white Williams, a black Lotus and two grey McLaren and Force Indias.

Just out of interest Glasgow, do you get turned on by pretending to be a woman on the internet?

Tell your missus it's a b0ll0cky Americanised holiday and don't do anything.

She built a 'No more nails' bomb and glued herself to the wall of a shopping centre.

I like your thinking but I fear most people would notice if you performed surgery on them. I was certainly aware that I'd had my tonsils removed so I think I'd probably notice someone sticking a satnav in my rib cage. I think it would be more feasible to kill the terrorist and get a pretty decent taxidermist to stuff and mount them. Hopefully the swap goes through quickly before ISIS notice she isn't very chatty.

I prefer to think of myself as some kind of Rambo-style one man army. The reality is that I'm normally cowering behind a barrel in a puddle of my own wee, shouting for my mummy.

Undecided. I'm all for saving an innocent life if possible and if it was just down to this one case then absolutely. My fear is that ISIS will become more active in their kidnappings if they know they can use the hostages as currency.

If you're looking for an indoor hobby, how about passing electric currents through small rodents?