Lighthouse

If this board and manager wants to find a decent centre half they will. In fact they may well have another target lined up already. We only ended up with Makin and Bennett because Burley had no interest in signing defenders due to his central midfielder fetish. I guess everyone has different memories of our first season but Fonte had some absolute howlers, like gifting Wigan a goal in our first home game back in the Prem or his absolute nightmare display away at West Ham. Don't get me wrong, he looked very solid last year along side Lovren. However it does remind me of summer 2004 a bit, when everyone was happy with how solid Claus looked along side killer. Then when Killer got injured he was hopeless. I'm not saying that will definitely happen again but £4m is a decent price for Fonte.

If you wouldn't take £10m for Fonte you are mental. He's 30 years old and not even that good. Looked a lot better last season with Lovren in the team but was poor the year before. Made as many bad mistakes as Jos, just not the blatantly obvious own goals. Personally I think Fonte plus £4m for Marshall would be a decent enough deal. If we can get a decent partner for Lovren with some of the Shaw money, that's a pretty solid defence.

I'd take £4m for Fonte but I doubt he would go to a Championship club.

I haven't seen enough of either to compare to Lallana and Lambert but I am very happy with the deals over all. Pelle is 3 years younger than Lambert who I predict will have a relatively poor season at Liverpool. We basically built a team around him at Saints and he was focal to the way we play. At Liverpool he wont have that, he will be a small fish in a big pond and wont be a regular starter. Would be surprised if he gets into double figures personally, though I do wish him well. I'd rather have Pelle, Tadic and an extra £10m in the bank, I'll put it that way.

Still a difference in class between a Real Madrid player, starting for the strongest German team in 30 years and a Southampton player on the bench for the sh*ttest England team in at least 20 years. We got good prices for everyone we've sold so far.

Yarp

One has to feel sorry for Liverpool, they've had some ugly gits over the last couple of years. Suarez, Kuyt, Skrtel, Jon Flanagan, Spearing. Now they have Lallana and his sh*t beard/quiff combo.

I don't know, I Pelle could give him a run for his money. He's such a dream boat.

When they finished 5th with 72 points, then plummeted to 6th with 69 points? Okay.

Nobody has £60m in player sales to help fund their transfer kitty either. There is no guarantee everyone we sign will be brilliant but £60m will buy you a lot of talent.

Three? Nobody else will have three new players in their starting 11? Okay.

FFS! We got rid of Adam and Luke FFS! One minute our fans are moaning about selling them, the next they are moaning about having too many in the first half of the alphabet FFS! No pleasing some people FFS! FFS! FFS!

Not bad, although I doubt alpine had the brain power to come up with that. I'd expect him to come up with something like 'Marsh*t'. Noclueman is a good shout too.

From our current squad I'd say we are still short a LB to replace Shaw, AM to replace Guly, ST to replace Mayuka/Osvaldo and GK because Gazza is crap. Those 4 in and replacements for anyone else who leaves would be about right for me.

He's still got Koeman to come up with though and there should be a couple more signings for alps to get his head around. Best start thinking of some nicknames for Ings, Marshall etc. just in case.

I keep trying to think of a song but just end up with Pelle Pelle Pelle Pelle Pelle Chameleon (as in Culture Club) stuck in my head. Quite irritating TBH. Edit: The best lyric I can come up with (I'm not saying it's good) is: Pelle Pelle Pelle Pelle Pelle from Feyenoord He's gone and scored He's gone and scoooooooored

We've only got 23 players so I can't see how we would be paying 30 of them £30k a week. That includes Gallagher, Reed, Gazza and JWP who wont be on anything like £30k. Mayuka, Sharp and Osvaldo will leave giving us on on the smaller squads and wage bills in the Premier League.

Osvaldo isn't coming back. Too many bridges burned and it's fairly apparent he doesn't want to be here. Recoup what we can from this sorry mess and move on.

You'd think we might have delayed the kit launch so he could model it. I'm slightly dubious at spending a fairly large amount on a 29 year old who has only done it in the NL but I've not seen him play. I will bow to Rokos vastly superior knowledge on this one. Welcome Graz!

We could name the petting zoo after him.

I keep remembering random sh*te players from that period. Like Vincent Perricard, wasn't he good.

You can but if the A340 guys didn't even bother to look out the window, it's unlikely they were checking TCAS either.

I remember that result, almost fondly. I'd just got a base transfer in my job, down to Bristol ironically, and that game was a couple of days before I moved. It coincided with the end of our pain as Saints fans. The next game was at home to Gilingham and we battered them 4-1, since then we went on a run of top 2 form for nearly 3 years, aside from a brief blip when Pardew was sacked.

I think Anthony Pulis has got to be up there with the worst of them. Couldn't even get off the bench when we were at the absolute bare bones, was purely there to make up the numbers. I remember one fleeting appearance in a preseason friendly. He had a shot go out for a throw in and was never seen again. Steven O'Halloran, he was dreadful. I remember Martin O'Neal slating us for not giving him a game and wondering if he had ever actually seen Steven train. Also the club never actually announced that Useless Safri had left. There were some rumours on dodgy foreign websites about him going to the Middle East and then he sort of disappeared and was never mentioned again.