Lighthouse

I wouldn't want Bosingwa purely because of the monobrow. Kalou would be pretty handy, but bigger clubs will be interested.

I think 'not wanting to leave the NW' really means, 'not wanting to leave the NW.... unless you give me lots and lots and lots of money.' In the world of broadband, skype and email I can't believe anyone would sabotage their career for the sake of moving 4 hours down the motorway. I love stereotyping Northerners as much as the next man, but they don't all go round grandma's house for a nice home made hot pot every night.

I also think he deserves a longer penalty, although I doubt it will make any difference to the family of the victims. 3.5 years, 10 years, life... nothing is going to bring their children back to life. Don't see why he shouldn't go back to playing football either, ruining his own life wont achieve anything. That's the problem with getting behind the wheel drunk and killing people. NOTHING anyone can do will ever bring them back.

155. The only ones I couldn't remember from this century were Stern John, El Khalej and (for some reason) Bale.

A fit Owen Hargreaves is like the Loch Ness Monster. 9 games in 4 years.

As much as I hate being fair to Pompey fans, there are probably c*nts like this supporting every team. It's why I never bother with Saints stickers, air fresheners etc. They're just a really good way of getting a brick through your window.

I think you're just farting in the wind here, it's a none starter. Liverpool and Chelsea will both go for big name managers with European experience, coming 2nd in the Championship just isn't going to excite them. West Brom and Villa are hardly a step forwards either, now that we're in the Premier League.

Lyon would be an outside candidate for one of the lower places, always seem to be in the CL knockout stages. Based on recent European pedigree, I'd go with: Man Utd Chelsea Bayern Inter Milan Barca Real Then pick any 3 from Lyon, Arsenal, Juve, Marseille, PSV, Porto and Ajax. All knockout regulars, but rarely trouble the last 4.

Sorry, but that's all nonesense. Cortese may be a 'funny character' (although he seems straight as an arrow to me) but he is certainly not a completely lunatic. Only a nutcase of Rupert proportions would 'expect' to win a League. Nigel took over when we were the bottom of League 1 and took us to 2nd and automatic promotion then repeated the feat a year later, both times coming within 2 points of the champions. No chairman in the football League would be anything less than delighted with that, even someone like Mike Ashley or the Venkeys. This is just pure media arse gravy in the off season. There is nothing left to talk about in the gap until the Euros, so they're rolling out the old ****** from days gone by, based on sketchy rumours and agents with an axe to grind.

Like Wolves getting rid of McCarthy Like Blackburn getting rid of Allardyce Like Forest getting rid of Billy Davies

Yeah, it pretty much would be.

He's still here because he has a contract to be here. He has a contract because Lowe is a complete muppet. If you have a contract, you can't just cancel it. You either have to pay him off completely or terminate by 'mutual consent'. Clearly Tommy is not going to agree to terminate because a) He wont get anything like the money we pay him from a none league outfit and b) by pretty much every account I've seen of him, he is a complete chopper. Clearly Cortese wont just pay him to leave and why should he. If we're going to pay him, he might as well be here just to cover the reserves games.

I don't have a problem with jokes. It's reading the same 'joke' every time I log on for the last 6 years that kind of isn't funny any more.

Mods, please can we have a sticky announcement thingy explaining the following: Signing Skacel and Messi - It's just not funny any more. The following 'jokes' have been made on this forum every day since the beginning of time. They aren't funny and they barely raised a chuckle the first time we heard them: "Hey Skacel just scored a goal, HCDAJFU" "We need a new LW/LB now that xxxxxx has gone. How about that Czech bloke at Spurs" "We've brought back Chaplow and Cork from the past, how about Skacel, HCDAJFU" "Rudi Skacel has just bought a house in Winchester next door to Martin O'Neil and Karsten Janker" and then there's "No don't sign xxxxxx, we need to sign Messi FFS!" (Apparently sarcasm makes this funny). "Our fans wont be happy unless Messi FFS!" (usually said by a complete mong in response to a perfectly reasonable "I don't rate xxxxxx HCDAJFU" post) "We're going to build a 70,000 seat stadium and sign Messi." and so on. It's like Godwin's law of internet message boards (basically every internet discussion will eventually end up in a silly comparison with Hitler or Nazi Germany. Except it's 'Lionel's law of Saints web discussions; Every conversation will eventually end up with a retarded, sarcastic comparison to Messi.

And there it is.

Blackpool definitely deserve to win this, so I'd bet my house on Wham.

I'm pretty sure it has to be 3 years before their 18th/21st birthday, can't remember which. Fonte definitely doesn't count.

Lallana has been here longer, Davis made his debut first. Both beat Morgan by about 2 years.

I wont be renewing my SWF contract as Pompey online have offered me a 4 year deal on much more money. Ta ta everyone!

I was there at Oldham when he came off the bench and scored a cracker on his debut. Scored again in the next game at home to the Dons and I thought we'd found an absolute gem. Sadly since them he's proved a bit of a warning for the 'great player if fit' argument, but some of his appearances in League 1 were top class. I think last season was a season too far, he had some decent games, but many others when he just went missing. Good luck to him in the future, I reckon he's got one more League 1 season in him yet.

Owen Hardgreaves would be a great addition to the squad if fit. The Pope would be a great drinking partner if he renounces his Catholicism and forms a death metal band The wood would be really clean and tidy if bears stop sh*tting in them. Pompey will be a major force in the future if they find a billionaire owen who builds them a 60,000 seater stadium and signs Riquelme. You get the idea. In short, no. Not even pay as you play, knowing he'd only be fit for about 5 games, he's probably want £100k per appearance or something absurb like that.

Wigan, QPR and the playoff winners. All depends on which managers do what really, if Norwich, Swansea, Saints or Reading lose their manager they could have serious issues. Villa might not have it too easy either if they keep McLeash and lose Bent. West Brom too, now they've lost Roy.

Christ no, you've got to be joking. In what way is a striker who has scored one goal this season (against Macclesfield) a good squad player. He's never been close to prolific at any point in his career.

I think we've got more chance of getting Shearer back. After the latest 'twitter feud' I'm sure he'd love an opportunity to stick his size 10s between Joey Barton's ears.