Lighthouse

Table if you discount goals scored by Northerners?

His team is currently 10th, having finished 13th last year, he hasn't really moved any mountains. Saints and Newcastle have progressed further in the last year.

I'd agree 100% with Red Nev on this. Sterling has been brilliant since the new year but Lallana has done it all season. Baines edges Shaw IMO.

So instead of being 8th, we would be a point behind 7th. Amazing how drastically our form has changed isn't it. I'm liking how we spent nothing, whilst Man Utd spent £37m and we have the same number of points.

The problem is they are all highly rated players at Prem clubs with no need at all to sell. In order to get them we would have to offer a silly transfer fee and wages, well beyond what they are actually worth.

With threads popping up about various players recently, who would you like to see us go for in summer. Marshall for me is an obvious candidate. If Cardiff go down, would they consider a swap with Kelvin plus cash maybe. From other teams battling the drop, I'd maybe look at Snodgrass, Adam Johnson and Borini (if Liverpool don't want). Only if we could get them at a decent price, I don't think any of them are amazing. I've been saying Dnipro winger Konoplyanka for about 3 transfer windows, so I'll quickly mention him here again. Speaking of which, is the Astori saga going to rumble on or is that dead now Cortese has gone? Lukaku would seem another obvious choice but we would face stiff competition. If Everton can match Chelsea's asking price they would surely be favourites. People will talk about Ings but he looks likely to be coming up with Burnley anyway and it would take a silly offer to prize him away. Other suggestions.

I haven't written him off. I just haven't seen anything special that shouts out 'sign him' either.

I find this post odd, given your favourite joke is saying, "he is young and therefore guaranteed to improve" whenever someone talks about young players. Other than a brief impression of Saganowski in the Championship, his scoring record has been pretty barren.

The difference being that players like Linekar, Van Nistelrooy and Andy Cole could do it regularly, whereas Wickham has had a small bump of form lasting 4 days. The 3 month dry spell before that would suggest he isn't that good at getting into the right space at the right time.

2 of those goals against Chelsea and City were tap ins I'd expect a League 2 striker to score.

Scored his first Premier League goal since 2011 on Wednesday, not exactly exciting for a striker.

Eh? I didn't say that, that's my point. This is a Man Utd fan, quoting an unknown ex. Saint who heard a rumour from an unknown source, that's why I think this is bull sh*t not just because it's a negative rumour.

Never in a million years is he going to Everton. Even if they make 4th place, they aren't going to spunk £30m on Lallana.

This isn't Lallana telling a journalist he is leaving. This is a journalist talking to an unknown ex player, who heard a rumour from a completely unknown source. It's just meaningless, it might as well have been written in marmalade on the wall of Primark. There's also a 50-50 chance of winning the lottery. You either win or you don't.

I think we can get £10m from somewhere.

I knew we would struggle without J Rod but I didn't expect us to be hopeless. On the plus side we defended well, kept a clean sheet and Wanyama looked decent again.

Norwich has to be the worst, with Everton a close second.

WTF are you on about? As for Spurs, their net spend over the last 5 years is about £9m according to that link.

I don't see any reason why we can't compete with the likes of Everton and Spurs personally. They both edge us in terms of gate revenue and merchandising sales but don't have significantly higher budgets. Our problem comes from a lack of depth and unfortunate injuries to Lovren, Boruc and the ineptitude of our record signing. If £15m had been better spent than that waste of space we'd be right up there with Everton, Spurs and even Arsenal this season. Wanyama and Gaston have been disappointments too. If we can find another JRod and Lovren at similar prices, we can improve next season.

Nothing wrong with Fonte at all. He is however in his 30s and one of the players we will need to replace in the next couple of years. Seeing as how we have very little to play for it might be worth trying, just to see if he is a viable option there.

I'd be tempted to go with a back four of: Clyne - Chambers - Lovren - Shaw It might not work but I can't see much else we're going to achieve this weekend.

Little doggy's dead and gone He'll wag his tail no more 'Cos what he thought was H2O Was H2SO4

Does she have any numbers written on the back of her head Spuds? Possibly involving the number 6?

She should have used an A340, would have gotten much deeper penetration.

Just put '@USAirways' into the twitter search bar. Imagine tub girl but instead of diarrhea she's got a scale model of a 777 hanging out of her vag.