Lighthouse

That's probably in Krone. I notice it says 'according to SSN' in that article, so probably nothing new.

I'm sure Poortaloo described BWP and Holmes as the English Torres and Robben.

Right, I'm off out for an hour or so. When I get back I expect to see this bloke signed, along with Buttner and that Kayak fellar from France. Oh and JustMike to be a mod.

We haven't announced he has signed. He could have signed him hours ago.

Meanwhile.... http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/19294388

That would be far too quick a punishment and we'd lose all our money. I'd be much happier replacing all the blue seats with red and white and renting it back to them.

Mike lures children into his gingerbread house, I'm not sure he's the sort of character we want moderating this establishment.

I notice Newcastle have signed Anita from Ajax for 6m euros. Very good signing for them I reckon, thought he ran the show against us the other week.

I think there are much more likely bets out there. Allardyce will have to get West Ham playing a lot better than last season if he is to keep them away from the drop zone. Liverpool managers have a remarkably short lifespan if you're not either a cop legend or top of the league immediately. Laudrup has a tough act to follow at Swansea and has a history of walking away/sackings Redknapp would be proud of. Will AVB be any more popular in the Spuds dressing room than Chelsea? McDermott had a fantastic second half of last season but his overall CV is much weaker than Adkins. Will he be a one-hit-wonder?

Do it Steve!

Bring back Ponty, Saintlee, DSM, Pav and Ric. Oh and Keith.

If you're being sarcastic you're a bit of a fruitcake. If you're not being sarcastic think back to 2005 when we went down expecting to win loads of games 4 or 5 nil.

Really? I mean, seriously? I know she has a nice arse and all but she has a face like a bucket of smashed crabs.

Aged 72, that's treble 16 and double 12

Where were Busted, One True Voice and the Venga Boys FFS!?

Would probably be the best noise she's ever made.

Jessie J singing Queen. F**k off!!

Shame about the "oh by the way, we're multicultural" interuption.

Eric saves the day!

In order: Emma Geri Posh Sporty Mr T

I thought that would have been a certainty.

If anything it's less disheartening. If you go to Man City expecting to get beat and give it your best shot, you wont really be that disappointed. If you go there full of hope that you might get something, you walk away feeling gutted when you lose 4-0.

The true story behind that film is fairly interesting. It's based on FC Start a bunch of Dynamo Kiev players who worked in a bakery before the war. They played the Luftwaffe in 'The Death Match' and half of them were executed after they battered the German's in the match. Not sure about the team, just as long as Vinnie Jones isn't in it. Mean Machine made my eyes bleed.

I'm going with 4-0 to City too. Anything better and I wont be too unhappy, this game is about competitive experience and keeping the GD respectable for this season. Let's not "just go for it" because there is nothing to lose. If we go to OT, Emirates, WHL, Stamford etc and lose 1-0 we will be doing a heck of a lot better than a lot of the teams we will be fighting against. I would actually be happy if we lose 1-0. Welcome to the Premier League.

You could quite easily swap Lambert and Rod around in the 4231 formation, infact there are a lot of options available to us. Lambert, Rod and Sharp can all play up front, you could also have Guly, Lallana, Puncheon or Lee in the hole. Puncheon, De Ridder and Chaplow can play out wide. Cork can play the holding role too. I agree with your second point entirely. I don't think we're good enough yet, we need 3 players in at least. Will we get any before Man City? It's looking unlikely.