Danbert

That is a new low and a desperate one. It seriously reads like it was written by Rallyboy.

Ladies please, take it outside.

All the away fans can sing "we're not singing anymore"

The only thing that's strange about this to me is that we're loaning him out just after he signed a new contract.

There's a full list of all the English players starting in the Premier League last weekend here: http://www.theguardian.com/football/2013/aug/20/premier-league-english-talent-margins By my reckoning about 10% of them came through our academy...

Watching the Hull game, it would be a travesty if Steve Bruce isn't sacked very soon.

http://firstrownow.eu/

I haven't been less excited by a new season for a while. All we have to look forward to in the league is another season flirting with relegation. I don't think we will get relegated but it's hard to see us improving significantly on last season. Can't really get excited about our new signings either.

I expect they lost on purpose. Probably all part of some not at all deluded plan.

Oh well - at least now they'll be able to concentrate on the league eh...

Some good stuff in this match report in the Indie

Oddly enough, although it doesn't bother me whether my wife has armpit hair, posting photos of her armpits on an Internet forum does.

Me on the Liverpool training ground: "Oi Suarez you fudge packer."

...whether your girlfriend/wife shaves her armpits? Personally, and completely honestly, I couldn't care less.

WTF? Have they resorted to counterfeiting?

The Sun says we're in for Scott Sinclair

The article only says that Southampton and unnamed clubs in England, Russia and Turkey are keeping an eye on him. Scouting a player is one thing but I can't believe he'll be a target - I guess his contract is up for renewal.

Link to Guardian article Putting two and two together that makes it sound like Lukaku would be available.

Steven Davis

Christian Dailly

Neil McCann

All I can find is 8-1 for a bottom half finish. I'm not sure how tempting I find that - if you're a new customer they do match your first 25 quid bet though.

That guy is beyond parody - what utter drivel. And what's this supposed to mean Since when have apples falling off trees on to your head signalled "realisation"? The idea of a wrecking ball falling of a tree on to Pompey fans' heads is not one I was expecting either.

More laughs - now Shearer's getting in on the act: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22982306

Exactly - this is how to undermine a manager and Kinnear is stupid if he doesn't know it. Getting the right players in hasn't been their problem...