sadoldgit

Situ sat ions change. People change their minds. Boris Johnson for example used to be in favour of remain. We know more than we did 3 years ago and what is important is that we know exactly what we are voting for in the next election. At the moment the LibDems are the only major party to come clean on their current EU policy.

Thanks for the info. It’s a shame they die off.

It wasn’t great was it. Yet he will hoover up a number of votes because of his position on leaving the EU come what may at the end of October. Where we go from there God only knows, he doesn’t seem to have a clue.

So another Tory has jumped ship and joined the LibDems. Whilst it gives me a lot of pleasure watching the rats leave a sinking ship, I do feel that when MPs decide to change parties there should be a by-election. The people voted for him as a Tory candidate and should be allowed to decided whether they still want him as a LibDem or whether they want another Tory.

It seems that Boris has cancelled a conference after being heckled by anti Brexit campaigners. Lightweight.

Not heard of miner bees before. They have been here for 3 days now. Is it usual for them to appear in the Autumn?

You wouldn’t be Whelk if you didn’t get a dig in so thanks for that! I know what you mean but I work on the basis that the usual suspects on here are not representative of the majority of readers who rarely post. The ignore button helps. There are some decent people on here and maybe eventually they will be encouraged to post if they see that not everyone is like UJ and the others.

He can’t.

If only it were that simple Whelk. They are very adept at working out what you want and become that person for as long as it takes to get you emotionally hooked. Once they have you that is when the games start. They are also very good at finding suitable targets (usually empaths). Trump is not a good example as he is a major narcissist and been given a huge stage and an unlimited supply to play with. Your local narcissist is harder to spot unless in a group of people you have known for a while. I spent some time on a website for survivors of narcissistic relationships. Not surprisingly it was mostly populated by women as it seems that the vast majority of people with NCP are men (apparently). It’s quite scary how many are out there.

Good advice Whelk, trouble is my ex was the perfect partner at first. Once her name was on the mortgage she became a different person. Better advice would be don’t judge a book by its cover!

I knew nothing about personality disorders before my first marriage, I am now an expert. My ex has what Trump has, a narcissistic personality disorder. These people are perfectly normal and charming when you first meet them, but once they hook you in the drama starts. She only hit me a couple of times, but most of the damage was psychological. She drove her first husband to suicide. The night before he took his life she told him he would never see his daughter again. I guess at that point it was the last straw. I only found out the truth about what happened to him when our divorce proceedings started and a member of his family got in touch. I was lucky. I spent 4 to 5 months under The Priory and they sorted me out. What is the statistic? Suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 50? I have had my clothes thrown out of the window. I have had my dog given away. It really is like living in a parallel universe where you end up questioning everything you thought was right. Her mother has shown signs of the same behaviour which explains why my ex step father always looked so miserable. My ex’s daughter from her first marriage is a nightmare. Luckily the 3 children we had between seem well balanced. Men don’t like to admit that they are getting beaten or mentally abused by their partners, but there is a great deal of it about.

Thank you for the advice. This is a forum for mostly blokes and it is entirely possible that others have been through the same situation as me. If it helps others great. If not, so what? There are some ****s on here who will use it for point scoring and if they haven’t got anything else better to do, that’s their issue. But **** happens in life and sometimes it doesn’t hurt to share a ****ty experience.

I have just bought a chicken and avocado sandwich. I think I’ll leave it now.

Of course it is appropriate to question why a verdict has been reached. That is why we have an appeal system and people continue to question judgements long after they are made if they want to check their validity. Yes Boycott has been found guilty. Yes the Evans case is completely different. There is absolutely no reason why we can’t discuss these cases and have an opinion on them. They make programmes every year about court cases and verdicts from the past. Should they stop. Yes, this is just my side of the story. Why can’t I share it. The purpose it to show that the Criminal Justice System is stuck in the middle of any given situation and has to make a call one way or the other. In my case it made a call that even the man paid to prosecute me said was wrong, so make of that what you will.

Not unreasonable in the circumstances. These countries have always been a lot more committed than us anyway, but why make it easy for anyone to walk away? As for leaving with no deal, how does that work? At some point we are going to have to find a desk with the EU. Surely just walking away just prolongs the inevitable and gives us all kinds of grief in the meantime?

I can see why you might want to play the ball to a defender if he has plenty of room to bring the ball out of defence, but it is suicidal when teams play a high press. A know football has changed a lot since I used to play it, but you would get a right bollicking if you played the ball with a man on anywhere near your own goal. Some of the defending has been beyond comical.

Djenepo looks a real find. I can understand the frustration about not getting a CB at the time we signed him, but can also see why the urgency in getting him here before another club snapped him up.

Given Batman’s assertion that I am an apologist for perpetrators of domestic violence, I thought that this subject deserved a thread of its own. To start off, I spent 8 years of my life helping to prosecute DV cases, so why on earth would I apologise for the perpetrators? Before I joined the CPS I went through the process at the sharp end. My ex wife would pick up the phone to call the police at the drop of a hat. On one occasion, after our legal people had agreed that the family house should be sold, I asked her when the house was going on the market and she picked up the phone and dialled 999. On the occasion I mentioned before when I was accused of ABH, I had returned the children after a day out. My youngest child constantly wanted to go to the loo so I suggested to my ex (who used to be a nurse) that my daughter should see the doctor. She said she would decide if that was necessary and got arsey with me, telling me to get out of her house. I was paying the mortgage and had paid in 75% of the equity in but that is by the by. We had an altercation and the next day three burly policeman turned up at the house I was living in and arrested me on the charge of causing ABH on my ex wife. As part of the prosecution process we both had to provide statements to both the police and our legal teams, three in total I think. All 3 of my statements matched exactly. There were discrepancies in all 3 statements provided by my ex wife. Several weeks along my legal team received a statement from the person living next door which supported my version of events. This came from the prosecution team. As they couldn’t use the evidence they had to pass it on to us in case we wanted to use it. There was no medical report form a doctor but my wife provided lots of photos showing extensive bruising to the right side of her face. I have no idea where those bruises came from (assuming they were bruises, it is not difficult to use make up to emulate bruising). There were some small finger print sized bruises on her arm which could well have been caused by me as she had been pulling my hair and ripped my shirt and I had grabbed her arm to pull her off of me. I had to live with this hanging over my head for several months until we finally got a court date in Brighton Magistrates court. A week or two before the trial I received a phone call from my ex to say that she was going to withdraw her evidence as the row was, in her words “50/50.” I still had to go to court as the case needed to be dismissed. During the hearing the prosecuting lawyer to up and made a lengthy speech saying that he was amazing that the CPS had taken the case forward given how weak the evidence was (photos and statements). In effect the guy prosecuting me felt that I should not have been prosecuted. Although it was a relief to get it over, part of me felt cheated that I wasn’t able to fight my case in court and to be found not guilty. Throughout the process I felt that I was guilty until proven innocent. I wasn’t even sure if my defence team supported me at times. There is a stigma about abusers, quite rightly, but you also feel that you are stained with it even if not convicted ( and her we have CB Fry and Batman taking cheap shots). In Boycott’s case he wrongly stated that, in the French courts, you are guilty until proven innocent. That is not true, they have the same system as us, but I can understand why he felt that way. A picture in itself is not conclusive evidence of a) the injuries themselves b) how they were caused and c) who caused them. There should be corroborative evidence in the form of a doctors examination. In the cases of beating by a first another report on the fist of the alleged perpetrator would also be helpful (for either the prosecution or the defence). And just so we are clear Batman, I not going to apologise for anyone who commits a crime against anyone else. I made a mistake in the Sir Geoff Boycott thread in which I hold my hand up to. I used the word “allegedly” when he had been convicted and had also failed in appeal. A few years ago posters against DV appeared in men’s toilets all over the country. I was working in the CPS at the time and had a chat to my boss about why they weren’t in ladies loos as well. She agreed that it isn’t only men who commit DV but admitted that the Criminal Justice System see male perpetrated DV as more of an issue than female perpetrated DV. DV is DV it shouldn’t make any difference as to who commits it. As things stand it feels that the male is at an immediate disadvantage in DV cases. As I said on the other thread, the police have a policy of removing men from the family home if children are involved no matter who the alleged perpetrator is in the incident. My ex and my ex mother in law both knew this and used it against me. I am sure they are not alone in playing the system.

Thank you Nick. Having been caught in that situation I do have some sympathy. In a situation where it is one word against another you look for something that will support specifically one version of events. The magistrate recently spoke about how she was sure he was guilty but spent most of the article talking about how obnoxious Boycott was in court. I was wondering if that worked against him rather than the strength of the evidence. The pictures didn’t look good but was there a doctors examination report? If there was did it explicitly rule out the injuries being caused by a fall? Anyway, it doesn’t matter what I say or how I say it, there are people on here just looking to score cheap points and when pressed can’t deliver. Back to Brexit. So Johnson is saying that progress is being made and he is confident of a deal, which seems to contradict what the EU are saying. He also says that he is intent on leaving without a deal if necessary on 31st Oct. Given that Parliament have voted against leaving without a deal, are we now living in a Dictatorship?

In which you will have no problem in finding quotes where I have said that Boycott is definitely innocent then will you.

I remember only too well your interminable arguments with fellow posters on Sotonians. As appalling humans go, your online persona leaves a lot to be desired mate.

I wasn’t defending Boycott. I was questioning the evidence. Two very different things.

Evidence? Perhaps if you stopped posting made up bull**** you wouldn’t be reviled as frequently.

Funny you should say that, there is one with a passing resemblance to Arthur Scargill.

Arsenal gave another goal away trying to play out from the back. They clearly aren’t very good at it so why persist? They aren’t the only team to look uncomfortable using this tactic. Why do it?