I really shouldn't laugh, but I suspect the OP knew he was offering up a hostage to fortune..
Personally I've never sat on a testicle but I have felt a right tit on occasion.
Can we at least ask what Licence you're going for. I really ought to do a coaching course myself. Booked a Hants FA one once myself, but the coach didn't turn up!
So have we got all the airports covered? General aviation? Unusual activity in-bound from Italy? Taxi-drivers on the alert. Papparazzi revving their motorbikes?