Miltonaggro

Just wait until he finishes his shift in the operating theatre and then chin him in the car park - Queensbury rules...

Poetic and historically accurate Crabbers, worthy of Roger McGough (the gap toothed sh*thouse).

The reclining multi-millionaire! Size of that bottom lip. Let him rot!

Basically £11.5 million per ear!

Lol! No doubt the scousers will show their adoration for a favourite by doing a Gerrard - issuing death threats to him and his family whilst the club pressurise friends and acquaintances. Bestest fans in da world, dem...

Too right, fair play to him. Liked him as a young full back during his sojourn with us and recall him winning an England U21 cap, then seemed to disappear. Good to hear he is doing well in Euro management and hope they can hang on to their 2-0 lead in Turkey.

Low end rent boy from Toxteth, webbed feet, pathological liar and all round Walter Mitty - as near to a reliable scouser as is genetically possible.

In a road sweeper role, possibly...

Don't think they will be selling their fans player of the year and players player of the season anytime soon, let alone to a club below West Ham in the football rich list!

Judging by the video you could be on to something there - let's hope he doesn't sing!...

Indeed, it's rather like saying players want to join Leicester to win regular league titles, or that Gary Glitter is still a big name draw as a popular artiste because he had a series of hits during the 1970s. The more I see of Liverpool (and Everton) supporters in the mainstream and social media the more it appears generic and base - possibly down to generations of slum dwelling living in close proximity with extended family whilst breathing in toxic waste from satanic mills. The mass population seem genuinely infantile, passive aggressive, with an unthinking mob mentality - a biological and social throwback, a relic rather like the city's two football clubs. Personally, I think the delay selling Van Dijk is due to the imminent takeover and will be framed as a 'new board / management' decision when it occurs, but he will be at an elite club rather than Liverpool come September. By then the plucky scouse humour will have turned nasty and their humiliation and failure will be blamed on anyone but themselves...

They'll be lighting candles, donating scarves, and asking for a public inquiry next.

By Mark 'Norm' Crossley - an unlikely nemesis for MLT!

Indeed, but outside the price bracket we like to shop in...

Surely there is room for Dennis Rofe in this set up?

At 35 we could consider him in the coaching set up perhaps, and part time career development counsellor for wantaway senior players...

Can you imagine the potential for self-pity and projection - he'd be a Shanks for the twenty-first century.

Defoe overpriced and heading towards over the hill, but Begovic is a very good keeper (much more accomplished and reliable than Forster) and Ake is one hell of a prospect - so fair play to the little Cherries for having a good go. The plus is that with Ake going there seemingly without a counter-bid, VVD may well be staying, but the plan will be to partner him with Stephens / Yoshida - could work as long as we don't get a £70m bid in the last week of the window. Tick tock...

He knows Sammy Lee from his time with the Benitez coaching staff at Liverpool, now that would be a popular return...

Very good, but the prawn sandwich brigade wont like it - so passé...

Happy with that. Passionate, well thought of, and looks like he could still do a job at centre back! Welcome mush!

Charlie Austin, bringing up the rear, looks knackered.

Spot on! Remember how the bestest fans on earths reacted when Gerrard wanted to move for money and medals a decade ago - death threats towards him and his family. Lovely club - http://www.standard.co.uk/sport/why-gerrard-did-not-sign-for-chelsea-7187920.html

Self-pity City par excellence!

That just about covers it, have a good weekend!