Miltonaggro

He's certainly had plenty to do!

Silva, Adkins, Krankie - in that order!

Absolutely, if we want to be a global brand we need to be universally hated, sort it out Gao!

Nor should we in that sense, would be crazy to retain him on that money, watch him disappear now.

Don't they employ grandstand snipers at Notts County? They could have shot all of the inbred apes and argued reasonable force.

We will go from 'everyone's favourite second team' to Triad FC, virtually overnight.

The Chairman he would install would make Cortese look like a Care Bear. I'd give it less than a fortnight before Ralph was found in the bogs at Limewood with a satsuma in his mouth, and Les lost control of his BMW whilst driving over the Itchen Bridge at 3am p*ssed. Bring it on!

Excellent, the Chinese David Sullivan...

Portsmouth - Gary Glitter, Do you wanna be in my gang?!

The highlight of his Saints career was the shiner he gave Rupert - passion along with reactive tactical awareness...

A poor man's Hassan Kachloul thus far ;-)

Selling him was the right thing to do, not replacing him adequately was the wrong thing to do, and Reed deserves to take the flack for that in the post mortem regardless of his excuses.

Indeed, but this looks the full Lambert!

Coco has clearly got some compromising photographs...

Playing Russ Abbott's disco party classic 'Atmosphere' before kick off would be a start. In the past it's always forced me to immediately start shouting...

According to many West Ham fans Fonte is the worst defender they've ever seen, Twitter is a goldmine in this regard. Be interesting if they go down.

Dante's inferno!

What they need is a bounce, Pardew would be a good fit, get them banging...

Out to Yakety Sax, the Benny Hill theme (local colour). Off at half time to the Laurel and Hardy Cuckoo theme. Off at full time, The End, The Doors. Sorted...

Can we still discuss Mrs Fonte and the avuncular shark that is Al Pardew?

Be fair, Koeman is well on the way to becoming the Dutch David Moyes. Everton haven't got a glass ceiling, more of a glass bungee (which they invented)!

Why doesn't he talk about all that to the press then? Needs to man up and move on.

After being at a progressive professional club for much of his senior career, West Ham will have been a culture shock - and I think that's what this is all about. Like resigning in haste from an employer only to find that the grass is not greener. Could have been a legend, now a footnote, and he knows it!

Sad to think whilst we are all watching Countryfile he's being bummed senseless in a bunk bed! Broken Britain!

Did Artur have a party afterwards?