The Cat

How do you activate a fan? Are there 50000 robot Pompey fans stored in a warehouse (I almost typed 'whorehouse' then by mistake) somewhere who are turned on, booted up and programmed to march up to Southsea Common every time they win a cup? As for the 200000 current customers, it seems that way under 10% of them are turning up. The rest must need activating into giving a shlt. Micah, you are supposed to be a fan. Don't start trotting out all that management horsecrap. It makes you look like a total gimp and few of the few's supporters will understand it.

Balls. Goals will be on SSN at some point.

Is there a shoddily put together highlights show on Meridian later?

Rowe on. This pleases me.

659 of them sat down. No sign of any flares. Poor support.

He spends a lot of time sorting out his ponytail and he likes to chip the ball. Thought he looked good and not just in a man crush way.

Happy with the point but we created enough to win that easily. Ward-Prowse was superb. Really happy to have Clyne back because he offers us much more directness in wide areas. A few people singing in the Family Stand which meant it wasn't quite so lacking in atmosphere at times as I thought it would be. My new seat is on the aisle so I get to enjoy charging down the steps while knocking a few kids out the way to do that fist pump thing by the barriers. For both our goals this season I'm sure Lovren has looked right at me celebrating. We're almost best mates now.

I've gone for: Saints win 3-1 @ 28/1 Saints win 3-0 @ 50/1 Morgan first scorer @ 18/1 Lambert hat trick @ 25/1 Saints win @ 7/10 Saints ht-Sunderland ft as my insurance. @ 48/1 All of which points to 0-0.

Any odds on Krul being Newcastle's player of the season? They are woeful.

Amazing. Just amazing.

This is nuts. We're going to be seeing some amazing football this season.

Great result completely ruined by the bloke next to me taking pictures on his tablet. The image of our away support has now been forever tarnished. I'd rather have that old woman knitting in the back row at Carrow Road than gimps like him.

Lovren?

Q1: What were your opinions of your first season back in the Premier League? We had an excellent mid season spell sandwiched between a dire start and a frustratingly half-assed finish. Adkins sacking was a surprise because he'd turned results around but Pochettino took the team to a new level and engineered fantastic home wins over Man City, Chelsea and Liverpool. Q2: What are your expectations for the upcoming season? More fast paced, high up the pitch pressing leading to exciting forward play juxtaposed with hilariously erratic defending. Q3: What are you expecting from West Brom this season? Somewhere between 11th and 14th. You have a solid squad and decent manager who seems on the whole to get the best from his players. Q4: Happy with the clubs transfer business so far? Yes. We have bought 2 very good young players in positions that were in desperate need of strengthening. If we get in a decent striker in the next couple of weeks I'll be more than happy. Q5: What other positions need adding to before the close of the transfer window? A striker because an injury up front will leave us short, and maybe a left back if Shaw is out for a while. Q6: Favourite memories of games against West Brom? Seeing your fans do the 'boing boing Baggies' thing for the first time at the Hawthorns sticks in my head. To be fair our recent form against you is best described as 'patchy' Q7: Worst memories of games against West Brom? Sat on the slip road off the M5 for 30 minutes last season listening to the first half on local radio while dying for slash. After finally parking a mile away I got in the ground at half time through the home end and was escorted round the side of the pitch to the away end thanks to some kind stewards. Saints were terrible but at least you only charged us £15 for the pleasure. Q8: The previous game between the sides finished 0-3. What were your opinions on this game? We were terrible. You by-passed our midfield and Lukaku was a beast. Danny Fox was an idiot. Q9: And finally, score predictions An end to end 0-0 thriller.

The Waterfront in Shamrock Quay shows them.

At the moment? http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/po...-cup-1-5359782

Go in the home end, you'll be fine as long as you don't celebrate if Saints score. If anyone sat by you asks then just lie and make up a random team that you support. There's plenty of neutrals at every football match, no one will care.

Do they have to change trains for tonight's game at Central again? If so then maybe they'll get their flag the right way up this time.

Which is why the £12 million spent on Wanyama doesn't make any difference. There's plenty of strikers available within our budget who will improve the team.

What you navy boys get up to on tour should stay on tour.

The sheer bizarreness of his posts make me proper laugh out loud at times, more than most things on here. If he's not on a wind up it's even funnier.

Wanyama may only be a small improvement to Cork in your opinion, but he's a massive improvement on the midfield as a whole. One reasonably long term injury and we would be screwed, as we were when Cork missed the start of last season.

Great first half. Despite not traditionally caring about friendlies I'm massively enjoying this. Roll on West Brom.

That's the miss of the season out of the way before it even starts.

We have plenty left to sell according to a bloke at the ticket office today. I asked if we'd taken the full 3000 allocation and he said "it's something like that."