SuperMikey

--------------------BORUC----------------- CLYNE----FONTE-----MAYA-------FOX -------DAVIS----MORGAN---LALLANA MAYUKA-------LAMBERT------JAYROD Subs: Gazza, Richardson/Reeves, Hooiveld, JWP, Cork, Puncheon, Guly

Waaaaaaaahhhhh! Christ, why is everyone getting so angry over this result? Why does us fielding a reserve team mean that there "has to be something wrong within the club"? Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal....they usually field reserve teams in the cup. Does that mean that there must be something wrong within their club? It's never nice to lose, but here are some reasons why you shouldn't really give a f*ck about yesterday: 1) The league is 3000x more important than the League Cup. Would relegation suddenly be ok to fans if we'd reached the Semi-Final in this competition? 2) We made 11 changes, they did not. We fielded a reserve team, they did not. They beat Everton this season, we did not. 3) At least we only conceded 3.

As an intimidation tactic I walk in bollock naked, with a lit cigarette tucked underneath the ol' chap. I have several pieces of music to play me in. Firstly there's an ambient piece by Brian Eno, and to accompany that I just stare at my opponent/housemate with my meanest squint. That segues into "I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters, with the cigarette still burning. I usually time it so when the first chorus starts the cigarette has burned down so low that my ball hair has been singed, filling the room with an acrid scent which clings to the walls. The next track is a re-imagining of "Rockin' All Over The World" which I recorded myself. It's two parts trip-hop, three parts maudlin balladeering. You'd like it. As that song plays, I take a long sip from a bottle of Lipton's Ice Tea, which I then pretend is a dance partner and perform a Fred Astaire routine with. Hopefully by now the cigarette has burned out completely, if the butt is still in place underneath my tadger then it's a bonus. Lastly I start crying, then wipe my tears away with the gloves, meaning that when I strike my opponent/housemate he will be marked with the salty fluid of war. Then the fight begins and I proceed to have the sh!t kicked out of me.

Given that we have 6 days between this game and the West Brom game, I think we will play a relatively strong team with a few changes. -----------------------BORUC-------------------- CLYNE-------FONTE-------JOS-------REEVES --------JWP--------MORGAN----LALLANA--- MAYUKA----------LAMBERT------------GULY Subs: Gazza, Maya, Shaw, Chaplow, Davis, De Ridder, Lee

The bloke who runs the coach service I go to away games on met Gaston in town the other day. He asked GR how long until he's back for us and he said "a week". That may be a week until he's back in training or a week until he's match fit, not sure. Didn't Adkins say Gaston will be back in light training soon?

He's very agile and pretty pacy too. Work on his defensive game and put him in the gym and he may well become a very good left back! I really rate Ben, think he will be a good player for us.

Did they form The Avengers? We've got a bag in the house and we usually just spar with each other. Part time, y'know. Just something to do.

I'll invite you round sometime. You can show me some Krav Maga moves. The Israelis know best.

I imagine me and my mate would've gone in and broken things up. Both over 6'2", big lads and we box (although I am f*cking crap). Doubt it would've been a problem, they looked like they'd break in two if you even looked at them dirty. The one that was properly involved in the scuffle at the ground had a fair few bruises.

Was very impressed by Mayuka yesterday. Has to start against West Brom. Puncheon was sh!te yesterday and against West Ham. Maybe a bit of competition will give him a kick up the ar5e.

Is the option of the eating contest still on the table?

To be honest I bet most people's ar4eholes twitch when you're about. Animal instinct.

No idea what it was about really. The stewards said it was like a "he says she says" kinda thing. The lads looked like they were out for a bit of a scrap though.

Very drole. We just wanted to make sure that he got home ok as he was on his own. Spoken to him at the KA and the ground a few times and he's a nice bloke. I figured the sight of 3 big lads might scare off the little sh!ts if they decided to come back for him, even though I have little intention of starting a fight. The actual scrap in the ground lasted no more than about 10 seconds before they got separated. Not much chance to intervene. PS: I would've trashed them in an eating contest.

Very encouraging in the second half. First half was cr4p. Mayuka was excellent.

I was a few rows up from the fight and saw what happened. Seems there was a disagreement between a bloke (who was on his own) and 4 gobsh!tes who were about 14. The gobsh!tes threw a few punches and the bloke got one of them in a headlock and fought back a bit. The bloke got smacked in the face and his forehead was cut quite badly. Me and my mate were in the concourse after the game and a few of the gobsh!tes came near us and were talking to each other about "that pr!ck" not being here and waiting for him. Me and my mate decided to wait for the bloke in case he got jumped by the gobsh!tes outside the ground but he was in the first aid area for a while and the steward in charge told us that he would be in there a while longer as he was still bleeding quite heavily (we'd told the stewards he was our mate because we're tricky like that). Hope he's ok, those kids were little turds.

I've watched all the debates so far, and i've been struck by how poor the candidates have been. It's nothing like the 2008 election where all that excitement was whipped up around Obama, but Romney has really failed to capitalise on the apathy towards the Pres. I still can't see Obama losing though. He's performed much better in the debates than Romney, who's just come across as a juddering smug f*ckbag. The 3rd debate on foreign policy illustrated that.

You've never used eggs Bearsy? Scrambled works best I find, all you need to do is cook some up, let them cool and then cover them in melted chocolate (brown sauce can also work in this situation). Contain the eggs within your rectum, and complain of having a "gippy tummy" to your partner but insist on still having sex. At the point of ejaculation, scream out "I CAN'T HOLD IT ANY LONGER!" and promptly release the eggs from within your man passage. The dual pleasure of the jizz and the look on your partner's face as they survey the bedsheets covered in splattery diarrhoea should provide many lols. Although tbh you could probably save yourself the hassle of preparing the eggs and just sh!t yourself instead.

Both sad things to happen, but ultimately incidents involving players past and present will be more highly publicised and will be more well-known to the majority of fans. I think this is a great cause and Billy has handled himself incredibly well under the face of intense media focus for the past year.

Agree on both counts. Fonte was pushed but then did commit GBH on Carroll, although play should have been stopped before. Incredibly soft free kick too, Carroll was falling over every time he even saw a player in a yellow shirt...

Mayuka especially unlucky not to make the team I posted, as I think he'd be great in a forward 3.

At the moment I would say... ------------------BORUC-------------- CLYNE----YOSHI----JOS-------FOX -----DAVIS---MORGAN---CORK--- RAMIREZ------RICKIE----LALLANA Subs: Gazza, Richardson, Fonte, JWP, Puncheon, Guly, Rodriguez Boruc - Best keeper we have, despite poor showing against WHam. His record proves that. Clyne - Been one of our best players this season. Provides genuine pace at the back and going forward. Yoshida - Composed and brings the ball out well. Technically a better defender than Fonte, although not as strong or good in the air. Hooiveld - Despite mistakes so far this season, he's great in the air and is a real threat from set pieces. Fox - Has had a lot of stick so far this season, but aside from playing a youth player or Dickson (who is half the player of Fox imo), what choice do we have at LB? Good at set-pieces and crossing though. Davis - Tenacious and hard working in midfield. Pops up everywhere too. The kind of player that every team needs, if not particularly eye-catching. Schneiderlin - Our best player this season. Looks suited to this league and is the best passer of the ball in the team. Cork - Think we'll improve when he comes back into the side. Physical and a good tackler too. Technically not brilliant but shores up the midfield when he plays. Ramirez - Big money signing but an injury has limited his opportunity to shine. Great against Villa and Arsenal, also decent against Everton. Lallana - Wasted at CM, needs space and technically better players to link up with (Ramirez, Lambert) in order to be at his best. Lambert - Talismanic striker, always looks a goal threat. Can be marked out of a game but is an excellent link-up player and will bring out the best in Gaston/Adam in a forward 3. SUBS Gazzaniga - Showed good promise so far. Hasn't looked out of his depth when he's played. Richardson - Gets forward well and is a solid defender. Good squad player. Fonte - Made too many mistakes this season to make it into my XI, but a good option on the bench. JWP - Looked outstanding in the first few games, but not given so much time on the pitch recently. Lacklustre at Everton but he's only 17! Puncheon - Has been good so far, although isn't direct enough for me. Versatile so good to have on the bench. Guly - Gets a hell of a lot of stick but I still rate him. Versatile in midfield or attack and has great passing ability. Rodriguez - Been a bit of a square peg in Adkins' plans this season, but he will come good. Needs a goal to fight for a starting spot but he has the ability. This is even missing out the likes of Mayuka, Lee, Chaplow, De Ridder, Shaw, Seaborne, Butterfield etc. Attacking-wise we are fine but just need more quality and Prem experience at the back (to state the obvious).

Bet you live in Hartley Wintney Bateman. Farnborough's good, lots of supermarkets and decent schools. Good motorway links and trains running direct to London/Reading every 10 mins. Not sure about house prices though.

I had "Maddie McCann" as my bluetooth name for a while a few years back. Caused me to get a slap from one of my friends but also inspired the best argument i've ever had with a stranger in a cinema.

People are talking about this like it's a foregone conclusion...