Hatch

Any hole's a goal.

Been Done. By Neil Ruddock when he was at West Ham.

Maybe he completed a pass to a team mate, and that was the bit that shocked the States as they thought it would go straight into touch.

But some of these 'heroes' have come second or third in sports that at least a dozen people in the whole world compete in.

Stella gives me the worst hangovers out of all the lagers out there. They have also bought out a 4% Stella now.

whore

I'll have the coach

Whats the point? How many of the people on the parade would you recognise in the street?

I could do February, seeing as its the shortest month

Natalie Imbrugliaialaliala and Liz Hurley

Gerrards miss cost me £170. ****.

Big Boobs and low cut tops

4/10 . 4 were lucky

James Brown - Rio - Upson - Bridge Theo- Lamps - Barry Gerrard Rooney - Defoe

Last summer, came off my bike over the handlebars. I didn't want to graze my hands so I used my face. Knocked myself out, 3 days in hospital and 22 stitches to sew my face back on. It was on my wedding anniversary as well, the wife had the right hump with me.

The 90 yr olds in the audience wont understand his humour.

Don't care, just been sat in meeting for 4 hours , come out and there is nothing to eat. Nothing at all. Zilch.

running out of biscuits

Durleys £50s are only worth £9.

If they've booked with Easyjet , the airport will be 200 miles from Madrid anyway, so may get lucky and land in exactly the right place.

Binoculars

What is that?

Any habitual criminal, however petty. Thieiving, violence and the like.

That was just a rumour.

It does look a bit like a bloke I used to work with called Dave.