Convict Colony

We can't expect a young bloke to be perfect, we have a 15million italian striker ****ed by his own methods, we have a club legend striker injured, we have a african cup of nations player of the tournament not playing, we have sent a japanese international striker released, we have loaned an accomplished champ striker for the season, he is doing us a favour wanting to play as any **** agent would hold back his client from playing v arsenal.

Abhishtu ‏@WhamBamTambrahm 29s There are 3 Southampton players marking every Arsenal man. There are AT LEAST 33 Southampton players on the pitch now.

**** my stream twitter and here are quicker. Arsenal fans paying their respects: Shaikha Al Khalifa ‏@Shaikho14 40s Are we playing Southampton or Bayern.. Those Saints are playing like Bayern in disguise.. Edit - Everyone talking about us seems to be Man U or Arsenal fans

I just love the fact that in this instance she is the perfect woman in most blokes eyes for the perfect 1st date. Bloke shows up to a date, can't be ****ed and takes her to the cheapest restaurant for dinner. She is dressed like a absolute slut and has hired a 3 star hotel room for the evening in the knowledge she has somewhere to video him in privacy without her 18 kids walking in on her and ruining her scoop for the papers. Nando's is demolished and then he goes back to the room and ****s her or get's bj's for hours (****ing x factor yeah right !!!) then gets a lift home. in my book he is a legend, reckon Sam Gallagher will do the same after his hatrick tonight. Who said that chicken wasn't full of steroids !

Got a thread, usually reliable but we will see in 20mins. http://lag10.com/channel4

I was most disappointed when I found out this thread wasn't about stalking players !

Also is it me or is she displaying her hands in a weird manner, like she is showing the hands that have ****ed off a thousand seamen.

what do you reckon 2 or 3 std's ? and 4-5 kids Supermikey would spunk his beans up her no worries I reckon.

Now I have only just wiggled into this thread and I hope I am not too late in order to help SM with his date on Sunday. I see you were pretty firm on Costa coffee, I understand that, you're going for cultured european man, she is going for harder for you to spike her drink and rape her so I appreciate the neutral ground. However we know there is only 1 place that is good enough for premiership footballers, be it post training or being on a hot date with a northern student and you play for Man U, you have to take her to nando's. http://metro.co.uk/2014/01/27/adnan-januzaj-took-student-on-date-to-nandos-in-tracksuit-bottoms-4278512/ In Januzaj's defence, he was dropped off by his mum (please don't do this mikey) and the bird had her own hotel room (if she has you are in like flynn) but if you watch x factor then commit seppuku instantly. Also what time of day are you meeting her ? Morning would be tough but afternoon coffee leads to afternoon boozing and banging. Anyway good hunting wing commander and bone her for the team.

that didn't flow well with the above 2 posts amigo

Where's phil, birdies, wood, hole in one, spraying balls etc etc

I say put KD in goal and push Boruc up front where his volleying abilities can be exploited. On another note, am stuck in a hotel in the western cape, any stream idea's or should I get drunk and fall asleep ?

Double post

I defo prefer your rumours, some wicked players there

Central attacking midfielder, the one either Davis or JWP is currently playing. Get Ever in this position then we are good to go.

I'd take Piazon as any part of the deal, scoring goals and making goals for Vitesse so far this season. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1896064-a-half-term-report-on-chelseas-vitesse-loanee-lucas-piazon

If we have transfer listed him this better bloody mean we will be looking for another striker as Ricky looks fecked. This is all going a bit t*ts up this week, next up is losing to yeovil.

yeap, boot to the head.

Simon Peach ‏@SimonPeach 12m The more I hear about the Osvaldo incident, the less I think it is possible for him to play for #SaintsFC again. Players aren't happy.

I reckon he was caught ****ing in the shower over a teammate

Praying sign isn't it ?

Good analysis and I would concur on much of it. One thing I would mention that technique beats out mental every day of the week. I see Vic as more of a slow plodder who would wear you down as you can't put him down. My pound for pound champion mythical fighter in the squad would probably have to be Sam Gallagher. 6ft 4in, speed and technique with range combined with youth as well as being Scottish combines to make it a policemans worst nightmare.

Having recruited an ex ice hockey player and coach I am expecting a lot more of this when we kick off and we begin a sustained recruitment of 6ft 6 Finnish and Russian players. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlel1VPZ4zA

Making stats suit your argument etc is all well and good and I have no idea what calculations were put into effect to create those but I can confirm the following: - I was ****ing screaming at the tv when I watched chance after chance get ****ed up or scuffed vs Sunderland (both times), Villa etc etc. - Every other team seems to score against us with their only chances, any hit and hope always seems to go in !!! (Sunderland/Spurs/Villa/Everton). - Dani has got better over the last 2 months by not playing, I expect he goes on a rampage and he scores 8 goals + by the end of the season. If there was a stat for least likely to lose the ball under pressure I would vouch for AL and Corky being up there with the best, the ball is glued to their feet in tight spaces. my own stats are: 5 beers so far. Conversion rate 100% Big Gulps taken 75% (got food stuck)

Ok am drunk would Wanda Women cut it ?