Dark Munster

You lucky whippersnapper. I still have nightmares about it. If we meet them in the finals, they'll knock us out on penalties. Again. The whole German squad has been practicing them since when they were in nappies. OTOH Roy will look in the yes of his players, and see who's up for it. You can bet your house on it.

Aren't you being a bit optimistic there, rallyboy? I can see a few Yeovil/Crewe fans taking exception to that prediction.

We'd go through on goals scored.

Correct. Or England 3-1 and France 4-3, etc. For once the FIFA rankings are useful. Not a huge issue when it's 1st vs. 2nd at stake. But if we lose 1-0, and France loses 3-1, then France would be eliminated by FIFA rankings. In that case I predict le excrément will hit the fan.

I reckon (and I may be wrong, as I often am ) that Trevor and the FL had a little "understanding", that the Cheats would not be wound up earlier (avoiding causing a mess for the fixtures), and in return Trevor won't be liable for the wage deferrals. Instead, they will be paid out of the usual FL/PFA sources if (and when) the cesspit of a club finally gets liquidated in the coming hours/days/weeks/years (take your pick). Of course, they may even get lucky, and the legendary highly-paid players, who fought bravely but in vain to escape the drop, will have a change of heart and voluntarily forgo millions of pounds in wages in order to save the club they have fallen in love with.

And that's the player who vows "he's doing all he can to keep Pompey breathing". With friends like that, who needs enemies?

I'm going to take a wild guess here: Chinny's portion of the unsecured debt is just sufficiently large enough that HMRC's is only 24.99% of the total unsecured debt. What prize do I win if I'm right?

Careful, don't give Chinny ideas. God bless (and protect) TBH.

In fairness to Trevor, I think the idea is to get enough crap players in, on starvation-level wages, to at least keep the cesspit of a club alive (albeit in a Walking Dead sort of way) just long enough to stumble over the last parachute payment day. Dropping down divisions, and being hit with massive points penalties, is probably not much of a concern for Trevor/Chinny et al. In that sense it is what's best for the creditors (well, Chinny at least). Of course, our heroes Tal Ben Haim and his friends may have other ideas. God bless TBH.

Yes, but is he 50% better than Rory Delap?

Yes, but don't forget the elephant in the room ... in the case of liquidation Chinny doesn't get his hands on the parachute payments. Let's see: Chinny is saying to the poor unsecured sods that unless they accept 2p in the pound (or 2p of 2p in the pound for HMCR et al) he will forgo his £18 million. It seems to me that the unsecured creditors, if they have any brains (a very big if, I agree), will realise that they have Chinny by the balls. See above. See above. In other words, all Chinny needs are 9 horses heads. Lock up your stables.

Yes, and no.

Bad news for the Cheats, I've heard it's quite stringent. They have to say "We promise to be able to fulfill their fixtures in L1, cross our hearts and hope to die", and keep a straight face while doing it.

Dear Tal Ben Haim, I just want to say that you are an absolute legend. I salute you, sir. Love, D.M. P.S. You may get an invitation to attend a Hong Kong party in your honour (probably near a deep body of water). Do not, I repeat, do not go. You may also consider some extra security and body guards at your mansion, and if you own any thoroughbreds please keep them well locked up.

World Cup: First knock out round, keep it as usual 1st vs 2nd match ups from the groups. New rule: 1st place team advances if it is a draw after extra time. Pros: Makes group matches more exciting with the extra incentive to finish first. Second seed has to go for the win in the knockout match, and the first seed will probably too (see below). Next round, teams are seeded according to how many "points" they have. 8th seed vs. 1st, 7th vs. 2nd, etc. Points are those accrued from the group stage, plus an extra 3 points if the team won the first knock out round in 90 minutes, or an extra 2 points if won in extra time, and no extra points if only advanced by being the higher seed after failing to win in 120 minutes. In the event of equal points, goal difference followed by goals scored (from all previous matches) is the next tie breaker to determine seeding. Again the highest seed advances if it is a draw after extra time. Each subsequent round is done the same way (points, goals for and against are accrued from previous rounds in the same manner). Pros: No penalty kicks required. Eliminates boring games where both teams play for extra time and penalties: one team at least will always go for the win, probably both as the higher seeded team has an incentive to win in 90 minutes or extra time to get points for the next round. Simples.

Hopefully he'll do as well for them as Anti Niemi did.

If I were German I would love penalties. Especially since they have been so "lucky" with them over the last 30 years.

Problem is, if it did come to penalties no-one would miss.

I'm not sure about that, TopGun. If the past 1261 pages of this epic thread has taught us anything, regardless of the Cheats being in L1 (or lower), there should be plenty of news each day from Krap Nottarf to keep Allen and Cross busy with their endless streams of drivel.

Actually Phil, I think to send them down that far would cause joy and jubilation throughout the entire Pyramid. All the FL have to do is spare one club from relegation, from L1 down. Simples.

It certainly doesn't, at least to anyone with half a brain (such us most of us nutjobs). But I'm sure it'll look fine and dandy to the Mawhinney-less FL, especially when the Cheats convince them with the compelling arguments "We will be able to pay our debts and fulfill our fixtures next season." "Honestly." "Seriously, we mean it this time." "Cross our hearts and hope to die!"

Quite a bargain compared to the 4 million for Decrap (who was 3 times better than Drogba, according to the rosy cheeked bastard).

"Guingamp were looking in the region of £2.5 million for him, but Southampton were only willing to pay £1.5 million."