Dark Munster

http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?37654-Summer-2012-HCDAJFU-Thread-Premier-League-Special-Edition

A bit optimistic there, K?

How many nutjobs are there here? At least 700, surely. A quid each?

That indeed is the £14 million question. I would have thought the FL would have let the magnificent 7's agents know, one way or the other. But maybe the FL can't make their minds up, and are enjoying the soap opera unfold. I know we nutjobs certainly are.

"If the new owner does not take over the liabilities and guarantee £10 million of football creditors then the Football League will not transfer its share and the club will go under. To save the club we are frantically trying to negotiate with players such as Kanu and Tal Haim. We have offered Tal Haim a substantial compromise which he has turned down, so it is difficult to negotiate. "Perhaps he is playing a game of bluff. Perhaps he thinks we are bluffing that the new owner will save the club and still pay him or accept his liabilities going forward." I don't think so, Trevor. I'm sure TBH (legend!) knows you are not bluffing that Chinny won't save the club and also pay him, or any of the other magnificent 7 (....Varney you fool). Unfortunately (for you and Chinny, anyway) he also knows that when the cesspit is liquidated there's a very good chance he'll get most of what he's owed back from the parachute payments. Nice try though!

A rather long letter. They ought to have kept it simple, which would be appropriate for the magnificent eight, and might actually get read. Keeping the gist of what they rote above (see what I did there), it should read more like this: "Dear Magnifcient Eight, If you give up the mony that is legaly and moraley yours, you can save the club that has shafted you and countless other crediters. You will rite your name in the history of our club. And the mony you give up will go to a good cause, Mr. Chinny. If you refuse, then ignore the last sentance. Then you are shallow, selfish people as portrayed in the press and wot we've been calling you up until today. Thank you, The Phew"

Pompey, to him, are the symbol of all that is good in the English game and that is something he believes should be cherished, not hurt.

This ought to be posted on the POL forum. Under the title "confessions of a scummer". That should get a fair phew of them to start reading it with glee, until the penny drops. Of course, it would only be up for about half an hour before being yanked, but that should be long enough to do enough damage (think of sunlight to vampires). On a more serious note, I'm glad I finally understand what happens to the magnificent eight's past and future money owed if Cheats FC are liquidated: they'll get sod all from Cheats FC, but may or may not get money back from the PL/FL via the remaining parachute payments. Now players (especially those who choose to play for Cheats FC) may not be the sharpest tools in the box, but their agents usually are, so I reckon given the choice of a) Give up their wage "demands" and accept Trevor's compromise, which almost certainly means receiving the square root of f**k all over the next 4 years, with Chinny trousering most of the parachute money; or b) Hold tight, let the cesspit go under, incur the wrath of Voldemort, Trevor, Chinny, Allen, Fred Dineage, TCWTB and the rest of the phew, but hope to get a decent wedge back from the PL/FL via the remaining parachute payments, they will choose >

Allow me to paraphrase. Last week Voldemort: Dear Tal Ben Haim, Greg Halford, Erik Huseklepp, Dave Kitson, Liam Lawrence, David Norris, Luke Varney, Kanu: You're scum. You're not going to the Gibraltar time share holiday because you won't back down on your "demands." I'm taking some kids and rejects instead, who we won't sign anyway. F**k you! Today Voldemort: Dear Tal Ben Haim, Greg Halford, Erik Huseklepp, Dave Kitson, Liam Lawrence, David Norris, Luke Varney, Kanu: Please give up the millions you are rightfully owed. That way my cesspit of a club will stagger on for a couple of more years until Chinny can get his hands on all of the remaining parachute money, which otherwise could be used to pay you. Pretty please. Yes, I think that's what most of us nutjobs are guessing. Tragic, isn't it?

But don't forget they'll be considerably stronger when Kitson, Lawrence, TBH, and the rest of their stars return. With the magnificent 8 back, and all raring to go, they'll surely be a force to reckon with in L1 next season. Provided, of course, that they all drop their demands.

It's like a sad Asterix, with his feathers going limp. I can see TCWTB's hat suffering a total collapse soon, when his cesspit of a club does the same.

Perhaps some of us nutjobs should contact them, claiming we're creditors and promising to contact the FL about the 10 point penalty? Of course the Cheats won't know that we'll reject the CVA and will ask the FL to triple the penalty.

Translation: they can probably get way with racking up enough debt by deferring wages until August, and then the shit really hits the fan.

28 Days Later. Zombies on steroids. Sequel was pretty good too.

One of my favourite films of all time.

Avram would come back in a flash.

Don't you mean Cortesse out?

I reckon this is part of Cheats FC's cunning plan. Herd up a bunch of trialists (with no intention of buying), and raise up the phew's hopes to be able to sell some more "early bird" season tickets to the gullible. They are even talking about bouncing back to the Championship. A dead cat bouncing, more like I think. But I think Voldemort's plan of leaving the senior players behind is not going to be quite as successful. They may be a little pissed off by being treated like lepers and missing out on the Gibraltar timeshare excursion, but somehow I can't see that being quite enough to make them tear up their contacts in disgust and waving goodbye to the millions they're owed. Nice try though, Appy.

Spot the error on the Cheats FC's web page.

http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?14620-Pompey-Takeover-Saga Come and have fun with us nutjobs.

I see what you did there. God bless TBH.

Attempting to determine his age? Cutting off a leg and counting the rings should do it.

http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?38796-Balotelli