Dark Munster

Dear Tal Ben Haim, I just want to say that you are an absolute legend. I salute you, sir. Love, D.M. P.S. You may get an invitation to attend a Hong Kong party in your honour (probably near a deep body of water). Do not, I repeat, do not go. You may also consider some extra security and body guards at your mansion, and if you own any thoroughbreds please keep them well locked up.

World Cup: First knock out round, keep it as usual 1st vs 2nd match ups from the groups. New rule: 1st place team advances if it is a draw after extra time. Pros: Makes group matches more exciting with the extra incentive to finish first. Second seed has to go for the win in the knockout match, and the first seed will probably too (see below). Next round, teams are seeded according to how many "points" they have. 8th seed vs. 1st, 7th vs. 2nd, etc. Points are those accrued from the group stage, plus an extra 3 points if the team won the first knock out round in 90 minutes, or an extra 2 points if won in extra time, and no extra points if only advanced by being the higher seed after failing to win in 120 minutes. In the event of equal points, goal difference followed by goals scored (from all previous matches) is the next tie breaker to determine seeding. Again the highest seed advances if it is a draw after extra time. Each subsequent round is done the same way (points, goals for and against are accrued from previous rounds in the same manner). Pros: No penalty kicks required. Eliminates boring games where both teams play for extra time and penalties: one team at least will always go for the win, probably both as the higher seeded team has an incentive to win in 90 minutes or extra time to get points for the next round. Simples.

Hopefully he'll do as well for them as Anti Niemi did.

If I were German I would love penalties. Especially since they have been so "lucky" with them over the last 30 years.

Problem is, if it did come to penalties no-one would miss.

I'm not sure about that, TopGun. If the past 1261 pages of this epic thread has taught us anything, regardless of the Cheats being in L1 (or lower), there should be plenty of news each day from Krap Nottarf to keep Allen and Cross busy with their endless streams of drivel.

Actually Phil, I think to send them down that far would cause joy and jubilation throughout the entire Pyramid. All the FL have to do is spare one club from relegation, from L1 down. Simples.

It certainly doesn't, at least to anyone with half a brain (such us most of us nutjobs). But I'm sure it'll look fine and dandy to the Mawhinney-less FL, especially when the Cheats convince them with the compelling arguments "We will be able to pay our debts and fulfill our fixtures next season." "Honestly." "Seriously, we mean it this time." "Cross our hearts and hope to die!"

Quite a bargain compared to the 4 million for Decrap (who was 3 times better than Drogba, according to the rosy cheeked bastard).

"Guingamp were looking in the region of £2.5 million for him, but Southampton were only willing to pay £1.5 million."

Gets calculator out ... 606*2 = 1212. Oh, oh, looks like Channon's Sideburns and higher are morbidly obese. Thank God I'm only moderately obese. Seriously, how did Trousers sneak past the golfer from the desert? Over 2000 posts, which would make him our own Mr. Creosote. Mind you, I'm not sure we should be counting some of those dodgy "..." posts of his.

Patience Nick, the plug will be pulled, but Chinny will make them suffer first. You know the old saying about the living envying the dead.

Not unimpressed enough though. Very wishy washy. Where's Mawhinney when you need him? Now he'd give the Cheats a jolly good rogering.

Platini must be spinning in his grave.

He can still score for fun.

I've been racking my brains about how Chinny is going to keep the cesspit of club going long enough to grab the last parachute payments, without having to fund TBH and co. And I came up with something similar to that as a possibility. Maybe Chinnny can convince the FL to allow Cheats FC to drop down to the conference south 8th division, in exchange for retaining the rights to the future parachute money. Then, with the prospect of playing the likes of the Fish Fiddlers Pub 2nd XI, maybe most of the Kitsons etc. will bugger off. If they don't, I've heard waking up to a horses head in your bed can be quite persuasive.

Are those the before Staplewood gets rebuilt photos, or the after Krap Nottarf gets razed photos?

Indeed, what is it with England managers who only pick Crouch as a last resort? Even "1 goal in 10 games" Heskey was regularly picked ahead of him. Crouch has scored 22 goals in 42 England appearances, and has 10 in 32 this season for Stoke. Madness.

As described by other posters above, the Pacific NW is one of the best parts of the country (apart from San Diego, of course ). But I'd wait until after the November elections before deciding. If Romney and the fascist Republicans can steal the election, or fool enough idiots to vote for them, this country will be heading to third world status pdq. You'd be better off looking at Canada or Australia.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/12/underwater-hotel-dubai_n_1511501.html Oh no, the JoCa has been beaten to it, and in DP's back yard! Oh well, perhaps now he can concentrate on coming back with a renewed bid to save the Cheats.

Apparently it's easier to steal from charities if you're chairman of Cheats FC than if you're Head of Integrity at the FA. Anyway, we shouldn't be surprised by this. After all, the cesspit of a club was running for over 6 months on money stolen from Lithuanian pension accounts, has stolen from charities before, has lied to the court about being solvent, has cheated with having players they couldn't afford, has racked up hundreds of millions in debt without any intention of paying it back, etc. etc. DFCSBs

You mean finish 17th? I think I know someone who would be content with that.

Al Mirage "in charge" the first time, and a couple of hand-picked Russian idiots the second time. Not forgetting the wonderful follow-up work done by the Android. Our Chinny's a slippery eel, isn't he? If he ever gets bored with the loan shark business, I think he has the skills to become a world class puppeteer.

Dear Confused: Maybe Chinny won't be concerned about having no players, and going down and down again. Don't worry though, you'll finally be rid of him after he's got his hands on the remaining parachute payments. Then your misery will be over. As in pull-the-plug over.