Dark Munster

I have a feeling we won't have to wait that long.

Cheats equalise. Not going to help if City hold on. Actually a City and Cheats win would be ideal. Then they would be relegated by a combination of the 10 point penalty and us giving City 6 points this season.

Celebrate the Cheats relegation?

Shouldn't it be "Imodium - control the uncontrollables"?

Those are rather ambitious plans for the Cheats. Instead they should be preparing for epic battles against the likes of The Fish Fiddlers Pub second XI. Good shout, forgot about that. Oh how we'll laugh.

That's true. And, as a bonus, if we are level on g.d. and goals scored, we win the next tiebreaker (head to head). Although if it gets to that it'll be serious brown pants time. But nothing compared to what the phew are going through, of course.

Yes, but Middlesbrough doesn't begin with a B, so it would've been ok to stay up there.* * Unless you call them 'Boro.

So Bristol City need 2 points from 2 matches to send the Cheats down (that's if they win their last two matches). And Saints need 2 points from 2 matches to condemn WHam to the playoffs (that's if they win their last two matches). I like the symmetry. I see the phew are celebrating keeping their survival hopes alive, though. That's sad really, because it is the hope that kills you. And if they miss survival by one or two points, and we go up by the same margin, it will hurt even more to know that if they'd won at SMS they would have escaped relegation, as well as prevented our automatic promotion. Their only crumb of comfort would be that relegation isn't as bad as liquidation. Oh. Since counting beyond 4 is beyond most of them, it probably won't dawn on them that, by going down by a margin of less than 10 points, the point penalty will have actually punished them this time. But at least a few years from now they can tell their great great great grandkids about the famous point their late club managed to scrape against the thriving PL club which those kids support.

What if we draw?

My missus is hotter.

Not quite. If they overcome our g.d. they will have to have scored at least 4 goals. e.g. we draw 0-0 and lose 0-1, and they win 2-0 and 2-0, then g.d. will end up being the same, but they would have 81 goals vs. our 80. Not that that is going to happen, of course.

If Cardiff and Blackpool win (both at home) earlier in the day (against Leeds and Burnley), then Boro will have nothing to play for when we play them later.

F**king bastards. I am trying to think of the what would be the best outcome of this that would punish Poyet and his cheating, scummy team. I came up with this. We end up level on points with WHam, level on goal difference, but go up in second having scored a goal more. Poyet and his c**ts on the other hand finish 7th, just missing out on the playoffs by having a one goal lower goal difference (but more goals scored) than Boro in 6th. So, if they'd lost 5-0 to the Hammers they would have made the playoffs. If they'd lost 7-0 we would have missed automatic promotion. 6-0 was the only result that would both give us auto promotion and screw up their playoff bid. Karma at its best.

Well, that would be a nice birthday present for me.

Of course not. But if they were midtable with nothing to play for, the score would be 10-0 to the Hammers now.

If WHam lose against Brighton tomorrow we will be in a better position to get promoted than we were before today's game. A big if, but something to think about.

Yes.

I'd rather he were on the pitch in the 2nd half than Chaplow (who's been utter shite).

So I guess that rules Cheats FC out for now?

‘From our point of view, if there is an opportunity to come to some kind of agreement where he doesn’t have to be at the football club next year then I think that is the sensible decision for both parties.' So Voldemort, you call giving up a cushy job doing nothing and getting paid a fortune for a year a sensible decision? I think Mr. Kanu may disagree. Well, I suppose it is a bit more sensible than giving up a stable job at WBA to become manager of a sinking, cesspit of a club, which everyone with half a brain knew was hurtling toward liquidation. And apparently he's also "back in training" (I wonder which he used, a wheelchair or crutches?) They must really think the clubs in the Middle East are as stupid as they are.

How much are the odds of not getting promoted (auto or through playoffs)? Worth a few quid maybe to soften the blow of not going up.

The ex head of integrity of the FA. You couldn't make it up.

One problem, the game would never end. No-one would ever pay any rent.

Page 1500, or April 28th. Whichever comes first.

I agree with 2/3 of that. If Boro and Coventry have anything to play for, they will probably be hard to beat. But Posh are now in holiday-on-the-beach mode, and are there for the taking. Oh, and they're not very good at the best of times.