Lighthouse

Puncheon has been largely ineffective since his return and has been frozen out of some of the tougher games, like the trip to Leeds. I think I might actually start Barnard tomorrow ahead of Guly, who can also go missing quite often, and Sharp, who hasn't really done it yet. I don't think he is a red card waiting to happen. Other than one wreckless challenge at the start of last season (Swindon in the JPT was it?) I can't remember him doing too much wrong.

I think the most annoying thing about finishing behind Reading would be the fact that I work with a Reading fan. He is the only other football fan in the whole building. He couldn't support Coventry or Port f**king Vale, oh no it had to be Reading.

And here, ladies and gentlemen, is the scenario whereby you can go top of the league with 5 games left and still walk away from St Mary's feeling like you've just been slapped.

Barnsley would need to win, which would put us 9 points clear. If Barnley drew it would only be 8, so we'd need 3 wins from the last 5 in that scenario.

To me winning the Championship is being the 21st best team in England. If we won we'd be up there with the likes of QPR and Wolves as the winners of NpC/Division 1. There's no big day out at Wembley, no cup final, no big prize money. Just a small trophy and a table which says 1. Southampton 2. Reading. As I said, it would be great to win it... for about a week. After that it just comes down to HCDAJFU next season, away days you're looking forward too, extar TV money for the club etc. etc.

I'm the same really. Would be great to win the league, but who really gives a hoot in the ling run. Not too many Seagul fans on here talking about "champion-ese!!" any more, even though they won L1 last year.

Only 4 minutes out, not bad. Just have to pray Barnsley can pull off a miracle and hope we don't f**k up tomorrow.

I'm not watching it. I've got Sky, but it will kill me desperately clinging to the hope of Leeds getting a result, only to see Reading snatch an 88th minute winner and go top. Watching a repeat of Midsomer Murders instead.

There were some when the ref was walking off, but quite immediately on the HT whistle. You're probably right, it just seemed like their fans were getting frustrated towards the end of that half.

Boo's at half time at Reading.

Cornier than chicken sh*t, but I agree with the sentiment. COYR etc.!!

Wasn't it 1-1, then a Brum player got sent off and they scored from the resultant free kick. I'd suggest it was one of those 'swung on one moment' games which don't happen all that often. I think both Saints vs Brighton fixtures this season have shown how badly tits up it can go if you lose a man away from home.

I was absolutely devastated when I heard Westwood had p*ssed on one of our beloved seats. The poor Charlton fan who had to sit there next.

TBF, I think that's more of a 'birds in Magaluf' thing than a 'Wigan' thing.

As a neutral I'd have said a pretty clear win for all 3 teams. As a fan though you always fear your team will f**k up. I think it was around this time last year Norwich had a local derby against Ipswich. They won 5-1 and got promoted.

I can't seeing this being true somehow. You would have to be an absolute nut job to buy a ticket in the opposing end at any local Derby match. Even if a fairly large group of people did it and you were pretty hard, you'd still be outnumbered by a large majority.

For the sake of playing devil's advocate, there's no way he'd get a fair trial in a civilian court. At least in a military court he will be judged on actual evidence as opposed to public outrage and emotion.

Nico Kranjcar maybe. Always thought he was the Skates best player and is hardly a Spuds regular. Still only 27 and only cost them £2.5m, so I doubt they would demand a high transfer fee.

A delicate subject. I think corporal punishment is more suitable for younger children as they are less reasonable and wont respond to a reasoned explanation as much. When I was little I got a whack if I miss behaved, Grandma even used to whack me with a wooden spoon. It taught me from a young age to respect my elders and not act like a little w*nker. I've never really misbehaved since then. I think if kids were subjected to this kind of discipline from a young age, it wouldn't be nescessary for corporal punishment into their teens.

In a bit of an inconventient place to take a photo right now, but if you can picture those little sausages you get in Heinze spaghetti, you're in the ball park.

Dodd was seldom in a possition to shoot. Morgan is but rarely has a go.

Think Barnard used to take them for Saaaafend. Him, Sharp or Fox would get my vote. Not Morgan though, I don't trust a player who takes 3 shots every season to score a penalty.

Yes, but it's tiny. Nowhere near big enough to scare off a burgular, especially if it's dark.

I keep an ENORMOUS strap on dildo for such circumstances. If anyone breaks in I just stick it on, go down stairs and say, "good evening. I've been expecting you." The bloke would run a mile.

Saw him playing in the Europa League in November. A long way past his best on that showing, I really wouldn't bother. I'd rather stick with Fonte and Jos and his wage appetite will be too large to justify being a 'squad' player.