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  • 6 years later...

One of those acquired tastes things.


True story. Middle brother is a hefty dude. Always has been. When I lived in Southampton, he used to cling to my arse like a turd. Anything I'd do, he'd want to do too. One day, I'm downstairs making a sarnie.


"Can I have a sandwich?" says middle bro.

"No, fúck off" (standard response to younger siblings in first couple of years after learning to swear)


"MUM! Paul won't make me a sandwich"


From upstairs, I hear "Paul, make your brother a sandwich!".


I had cheese and pickle. I made him a mustard only sandwich. He was crying after the first bite, but the fat little bastard finished it.


As punishment, I had to make a mustard sandwich for myself. Was alright.

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I was using Pampers Kandoo Melon Scented bum wipes for a while, till I worked out it was costing me 50p every time I took a shit. Also, they were if anything, too wet. One does not wish to carry an anal wetness about their daily activities, even if it is melon scented.


wHat iS uR sYsTeM? Specialist wetwipes? Bidet? Dampened tissue? I tried the dampened toilet paper system at one time, but you do not always have easy access to sink (i.e. in public convenience) and I am too fastidious to bowl dip.

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