The Ashes

[badgerx16]

Duckett so far in the match, 1st ball duck and 2 dropped catches.

[Gloucester Saint]

6 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

Duckett so far in the match, 1st ball duck and 2 dropped catches.

Duck-ett by name, Duckett by nature.

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

Eugh, just woken up and not surprised in the slightest that the Aussies are still batting.

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

They're just taking this piss now. Could you imagine Atkinson and Carse doing this for England?

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

An Australian scorecard with all batsmen contributing something. Wonder if England can do the same now. 

 

 

 

Edited December 6 by Stripey McStripe Shirt

[whelk]

Highest opening partnership so far - 9!

[badgerx16]

Half of the England first innings 'out' scores combined come to less thsn the lowest scoring Australian batsman managed. 

Edited December 6 by badgerx16

[Toadhall Saint]

Another embarrassment is on the cards. Without Joe Root this side would be bottom of the test rankings.

[badgerx16]

Too many stupid, loose, shots to balls that can safely be left. Other than Root, there doesn't seem to be a single player in the England team capable of batting successive maiden overs if the situation requires it.

Bazball has frazzled their brains.

[Lord Duckhunter]

Just fucking chucking it away again. What was Stokes going on about, has beens…. They need to ditch this brainless Bollocks baz ball and play proper cricket…

[badgerx16]

Umpire gives Brook out caught behind when he clearly missed it by inches, Brook reviews successfully. Very next ball Umpire gives him not out to a ball he has clearly hit, Australia successfully review.

2 very poor decisions.

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

Australia are quite clearly better at cricket than England.

That doesn't take away from the fact that Steve Smith has a thoroughly dislikeable face.

[badgerx16]

England currently 123 for 5. 🙂

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

Just now, badgerx16 said:

England currently 123 for 5. 🙂

And trail by 54. May as well be trailing by 54,321.

[Lighthouse]

Probably looking at an innings defeat. How can we so consistently be this pathetic in test cricket.

[badgerx16]

Ben Stokes contemplates another England defeat

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

3 minutes ago, Lighthouse said:

Probably looking at an innings defeat. How can we so consistently be this pathetic in test cricket.

Cheer up. At least we've managed to survive 3 whole days this time.

[skintsaint]

Almost as if the lack of match practice in Aussie conditions is biting us in the arse. Who would have thought it.

[tdmickey3]

Utter mess in Australia again.

Every team bottle it

[Gloucester Saint]

Justin Langer for the next three tests might be an option, understands Oz conditions and will get some fight out of the players. England’s red ball record vs Aus, India and SA under McCullum is mixed at best. Flat track bullies. They won’t sack Brendon though, only just signed a white ball contract. 

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

On 06/12/2025 at 07:22, Stripey McStripe Shirt said:

They're just taking this piss now. Could you imagine Atkinson and Carse doing this for England?

No. No I can't.

[Lord Duckhunter]

20 hours ago, skintsaint said:

Almost as if the lack of match practice in Aussie conditions is biting us in the arse. Who would have thought it.

According to McCullum they actually over prepared. Clearly not enough golf and too much practise…

 

[Gloucester Saint]

Need to draw on the England Lions. Duckett, Pope, Brook and Smith all look overwhelmed, and need to be replaced. 

[Lord Duckhunter]

I don’t think Sir Geoffrey is a fan 

“England are irresponsible, rubbish and too far up their backsides to care.”

Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum think they, and only they, know the secret to modern Test cricket, but we should stop listening to them.”
 

[badgerx16]

The 'Corridor of Uncertainty'..........the space between an England batsman's ears.

[badgerx16]

"Asked before the second Test to describe the "Australian way of playing Test cricket", Smith said: "Adapting to conditions and what's in front of us, playing the game in real time. [It is] not get back in the shed and say 'we should have played this way, we should have done this'.

"Playing what's in front of us and doing it for long periods. If you do that in Test cricket it holds you in pretty good stead.""

 

"Contrast that to assistant coach Marcus Trescothick's explanation for England's approach on the third evening in Brisbane.

"We are trying to play the way we want to play," said Trescothick. "You have to have a style of play you stick to, don't you?"

And therein lies the problem. England have become slaves to their style, stubbornly believing a one-size-fits-all method will bring results in Test cricket."

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cy0pqjp0jyqo

[Gloucester Saint]

Strong echoes of Saints in the PL under Russell Martin. Same outcome on the pitch and same P45 heading the head coaches’ way shortly.

[Gloucester Saint]

23 hours ago, Gloucester Saint said:

Strong echoes of Saints in the PL under Russell Martin. Same outcome on the pitch and same P45 heading the head coaches’ way shortly.

And now from the coach https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c78vnl7prg7o

‘Ollie Pope is our number 3’, where is the accountability and competition if players aren’t consistently performing (and in Pope’s case for a while, excluding the fact he’s a number 4 or 5, and Root and Brook are better than him)?

[badgerx16]

So, the most predictable thing about the tour, other than England losing, has happened; Wood is out of the series injured.

[Gloucester Saint]

3 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

So, the most predictable thing about the tour, other than England losing, has happened; Wood is out of the series injured.

In other news:

- Large bear observed in woodland with intention to defecate

- Pope suspected to be of Catholic faith

- Local bakery produces cakes