The Ashes

[badgerx16]

Duckett so far in the match, 1st ball duck and 2 dropped catches.

[Gloucester Saint]

6 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

Duckett so far in the match, 1st ball duck and 2 dropped catches.

Duck-ett by name, Duckett by nature.

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

Eugh, just woken up and not surprised in the slightest that the Aussies are still batting.

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

They're just taking this piss now. Could you imagine Atkinson and Carse doing this for England?

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

An Australian scorecard with all batsmen contributing something. Wonder if England can do the same now. 

 

 

 

Edited December 6 by Stripey McStripe Shirt

[whelk]

Highest opening partnership so far - 9!

[badgerx16]

Half of the England first innings 'out' scores combined come to less thsn the lowest scoring Australian batsman managed. 

Edited December 6 by badgerx16

[Toadhall Saint]

Another embarrassment is on the cards. Without Joe Root this side would be bottom of the test rankings.

[badgerx16]

Too many stupid, loose, shots to balls that can safely be left. Other than Root, there doesn't seem to be a single player in the England team capable of batting successive maiden overs if the situation requires it.

Bazball has frazzled their brains.

[Lord Duckhunter]

Just fucking chucking it away again. What was Stokes going on about, has beens…. They need to ditch this brainless Bollocks baz ball and play proper cricket…

[badgerx16]

Umpire gives Brook out caught behind when he clearly missed it by inches, Brook reviews successfully. Very next ball Umpire gives him not out to a ball he has clearly hit, Australia successfully review.

2 very poor decisions.

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

Australia are quite clearly better at cricket than England.

That doesn't take away from the fact that Steve Smith has a thoroughly dislikeable face.

[badgerx16]

England currently 123 for 5. 🙂

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

Just now, badgerx16 said:

England currently 123 for 5. 🙂

And trail by 54. May as well be trailing by 54,321.

[Lighthouse]

Probably looking at an innings defeat. How can we so consistently be this pathetic in test cricket.

[badgerx16]

Ben Stokes contemplates another England defeat

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

3 minutes ago, Lighthouse said:

Probably looking at an innings defeat. How can we so consistently be this pathetic in test cricket.

Cheer up. At least we've managed to survive 3 whole days this time.

[skintsaint]

Almost as if the lack of match practice in Aussie conditions is biting us in the arse. Who would have thought it.

[tdmickey3]

Utter mess in Australia again.

Every team bottle it

[Gloucester Saint]

Justin Langer for the next three tests might be an option, understands Oz conditions and will get some fight out of the players. England’s red ball record vs Aus, India and SA under McCullum is mixed at best. Flat track bullies. They won’t sack Brendon though, only just signed a white ball contract. 

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

On 06/12/2025 at 07:22, Stripey McStripe Shirt said:

They're just taking this piss now. Could you imagine Atkinson and Carse doing this for England?

No. No I can't.

[Lord Duckhunter]

20 hours ago, skintsaint said:

Almost as if the lack of match practice in Aussie conditions is biting us in the arse. Who would have thought it.

According to McCullum they actually over prepared. Clearly not enough golf and too much practise…

 

[Gloucester Saint]

Need to draw on the England Lions. Duckett, Pope, Brook and Smith all look overwhelmed, and need to be replaced. 

[Lord Duckhunter]

I don’t think Sir Geoffrey is a fan 

“England are irresponsible, rubbish and too far up their backsides to care.”

Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum think they, and only they, know the secret to modern Test cricket, but we should stop listening to them.”
 

[badgerx16]

The 'Corridor of Uncertainty'..........the space between an England batsman's ears.

[badgerx16]

"Asked before the second Test to describe the "Australian way of playing Test cricket", Smith said: "Adapting to conditions and what's in front of us, playing the game in real time. [It is] not get back in the shed and say 'we should have played this way, we should have done this'.

"Playing what's in front of us and doing it for long periods. If you do that in Test cricket it holds you in pretty good stead.""

 

"Contrast that to assistant coach Marcus Trescothick's explanation for England's approach on the third evening in Brisbane.

"We are trying to play the way we want to play," said Trescothick. "You have to have a style of play you stick to, don't you?"

And therein lies the problem. England have become slaves to their style, stubbornly believing a one-size-fits-all method will bring results in Test cricket."

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cy0pqjp0jyqo

[Gloucester Saint]

Strong echoes of Saints in the PL under Russell Martin. Same outcome on the pitch and same P45 heading the head coaches’ way shortly.

[Gloucester Saint]

23 hours ago, Gloucester Saint said:

Strong echoes of Saints in the PL under Russell Martin. Same outcome on the pitch and same P45 heading the head coaches’ way shortly.

And now from the coach https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c78vnl7prg7o

‘Ollie Pope is our number 3’, where is the accountability and competition if players aren’t consistently performing (and in Pope’s case for a while, excluding the fact he’s a number 4 or 5, and Root and Brook are better than him)?

[badgerx16]

So, the most predictable thing about the tour, other than England losing, has happened; Wood is out of the series injured.

[Gloucester Saint]

3 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

So, the most predictable thing about the tour, other than England losing, has happened; Wood is out of the series injured.

In other news:

- Large bear observed in woodland with intention to defecate

- Pope suspected to be of Catholic faith

- Local bakery produces cakes

[badgerx16]

Alex Carey has admitted that he hit the ball where Jamie Smith claimed a catch when Carey was on 76. Snicko detected no contact between bat and ball after England reviewed the on field Not Out decision, so Carey remained at the crease, and went on to score 30 more runs.

The company running Snicko have admitted that the wrong stump microphone was analysed; they synchronised the bowler's end mic to the video replay, rather than the batsman's end mic. The DRS replay showed a clear spike, but before the ball got to Carey, so the third umpire ruled that there was "a clear gap" between bat and ball.

 

According to Jonathan Agnew, he has been told by one of the match referees for the series that they are concerned about Snicko's reliability.

Edited yesterday at 12:23 by badgerx16

[whelk]

Snicko just sounds like it had to be named by an Aussie but not the case

Edited yesterday at 13:20 by whelk

[egg]

1 hour ago, badgerx16 said:

Alex Carey has admitted that he hit the ball where Jamie Smith claimed a catch when Carey was on 76. Snicko detected no contact between bat and ball after England reviewed the on field Not Out decision, so Carey remained at the crease, and went on to score 30 more runs.

The company running Snicko have admitted that the wrong stump microphone was analysed; they synchronised the bowler's end mic to the video replay, rather than the batsman's end mic. The DRS replay showed a clear spike, but before the ball got to Carey, so the third umpire ruled that there was "a clear gap" between bat and ball.

 

According to Jonathan Agnew, he has been told by one of the match referees for the series that they are concerned about Snicko's reliability.

You can blame Snicko, but bad form not walking when you know you've hit the ball. 

[badgerx16]

37 minutes ago, egg said:

You can blame Snicko, but bad form not walking when you know you've hit the ball. 

They never do these days. It's as bad as appealing for catches they know they haven't taken, or the batsman hasn't touched. Not quite as much blatant cheating as Premier League footballers, but certainly the "spirit of the game" has been lost.

Mind you, WG Grace used to stare down the umpires that gave him out until they changed their minds.

Edited 23 hours ago by badgerx16

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

I need to wake up at about 4am tomorrow. I just know that when I do, the Aussies will still be batting (either the tailenders still going, or having starter their second innings. Neither would surprise me).

[austsaint]

8 hours ago, egg said:

You can blame Snicko, but bad form not walking when you know you've hit the ball. 

Australia has only one walker in recent history….Adam Gilchrist.   Thing is, with the DRS technology you’d think more batters would walk these days.   I don’t suppose Carey was to know that “snicko” wasn’t working properly yesterday. 

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

6 hours ago, Stripey McStripe Shirt said:

I need to wake up at about 4am tomorrow. I just know that when I do, the Aussies will still be batting (either the tailenders still going, or having starter their second innings. Neither would surprise me).

Switched on just in time for tea. What a pleasant surprise, only 5 down and not a single duck. 🫠

Edited 8 hours ago by Stripey McStripe Shirt

[Stripey McStripe Shirt]

Snicko? More like Shitto.

[badgerx16]

At least by bowling Australia out early this morning, England put themselves in an excellent position to take advantage of days 2 and 3, the 2 best days tor batting on this pitch.........

[Gloucester Saint]

Pope at 3 hasn’t worked consistently and doing the same thing, failing and repeating it is stupidity from Key, McCullum and Stokes. Pope at 4 or 5 I can handle but he will have to dislodge Root or Brook for his place. Crawley - not Test quality bar one off innings. Duckett I’m not sure about vs genuine pace and ditto Brook. Jamie Smith - white ball basher, Jordan Cox is the longer-term bet as wk batsman. 

[Picard]

44 minutes ago, Gloucester Saint said:

Pope at 3 hasn’t worked consistently and doing the same thing, failing and repeating it is stupidity from Key, McCullum and Stokes. Pope at 4 or 5 I can handle but he will have to dislodge Root or Brook for his place. Crawley - not Test quality bar one off innings. Duckett I’m not sure about vs genuine pace and ditto Brook. Jamie Smith - white ball basher, Jordan Cox is the longer-term bet as wk batsman. 

Are there any better players around?

[Gloucester Saint]

26 minutes ago, Picard said:

Are there any better players around?

Ben McKinney has been their likely Crawley replacement and done well for the Lions. Is he better? I suspect we might find out in the summer. James Rew at Somerset would be another wk/bat option if Jordan Cox was used as a specialist top order player. Tom Haines at Sussex is liked by England and Josh Bohannon at Lancs would be #3 option although played D2 cricket last term, was D1 top scorer before that.

Jacob Bethell is in the Ashes squad and had some white ball success and a decent NZ red ball tour at #3. But needs more domestic red ball experience and still to score a FC ton.

Edited 3 hours ago by Gloucester Saint
Bethell

[tdmickey3]

Utter shite... again

Bottle jobs

[badgerx16]

3 hours ago, Picard said:

Are there any better players around?

Any player mooted as a potential replacement could hardly be worse.