SNSUN

Finishing his career with us then. I wonder if he'll get a coaching role at the end of it...

If they're in financial plop, there's no way they'll be spending £8 million on players. Money from the sales will go towards balancing the books and paying existing wages, and free transfers and loans will replace outgoing players.

I wonder if he'd use that terminology though? "Morning Nigel, I want your man Puncheon and I'm willing to give you £500k and Gorkss in exchange." "Who's Gorkss?" "My centre back. Trust me, Aitch Cee Dee A Jay Eff Yoo!" "Bugger off Neil, that's OUR word."

Time to change that then. I thought we would win our first game last season, but didn't know about the unrest in the camp or the pathetic attempt at a pre-season. This time around, we have a manager that is being backed and who is an ex-physio so knows better than anyone how to get his players into shape, we have just been promoted and are on a high, we have strenghthened an already good squad, and are at home and on Sky to boot. Oh, and Leeds have a striker shortage. For me, and I'm probably wrong, all the signs seem to point to us winning.

Of the relegated sides, I can see only West Ham being close or at the top come the end of the season. Blackpool will re-establish themselves as average Championship fodder with a late play-off push perhaps, but Birmingham will crumble. (Though judging from Pompey's showing last season, may not go down.) Of the promoted sides, we will do the best, a play off push isn't beyond us, Brighton will start well but ultimately struggle, and Peterborough will wave goodbye to the Championship on their way to League One again. Suprise teams of the year to do well? Crystal Palace and Hull. Teams that will underachieve (Perhaps massively) Watford, Burnley and Derby. The auto spots will be fought by Middlesbrough, West Ham and Leicester, the relegation spots could be Portsmouth, Watford and Peterborough. There seems to be a big gulf in class in this league this season, and as long as we attach ourselves to the top teams, we'll do fine - it is my prediction that there will be a massive gap in points between two adjacent mid-table teams come May.

Have they got any good players left? They could struggle this season.

Surely Batman theme tune : De de de de de de de de Ridder!

Connolly seems to have battled back well from crippling injuries but I guess no two players are the same. We're past signing crocks anyway, I seem to remember we had a period where that's all we seemed to bring in.

It is my prediction that we will start the season with a bang. 7 straight wins, winning live on Sky whilst frightening the living shyte out the rest of the Championship, and beating dirty Leeds to boot, would be a fantastic start. Oxo to start badly though, he can find his form in September once the window has closed!

Both. (and if I were playing FM, another two centre backs on top of that!)

I see nobody picked up on my completely arse Erik Nevland rumour though, and I tried to make it as realistic as possible.

De Ridder replaces Puncheon. Cork replaces Gobern. Brand new lemon scented urinal cakes replaces Pulis.

Would be a fantastic deal if true - think of this, Puncheon not being a Saints player anymore. Nice. (Oh, and a prize will be awarded to whoever comes up with the best song if we sign Gorkss!)

We are the Man City of the Championship. Up yours Leicester. Lolzzzzzzz

Yes. Facebook, for that reason, is a godsend.

In the middle of the night, I was walking in my sleep, in the valley of the shadows, by de ridder so deep...

I pine for all the ex-girlfriends I've dumped. I make terrible decisions. :-(

Do they still do 6XL in the shops or do I have to get it made specially? :-)

Indeed my first thought was 'it's only a friendly'. Still think a footballer that's allergic to grass is a risky squad member!

I prefer the away kit to the home kit, I was a big lover of the sash and as happy as I am to be back in stripes, that home kit just doesn't grab me. This kit is fairly simple, although I do like a collar on a replica shirt. It's smarter.

The perfect choice IMO. Young, hungry, eager to do well for his favourite team, inexpensive, good skills even if he doesn't have a great goal ratio, and it would weaken Coventry who are one of our divisional rivals.

Kelvin has the most Championship experience, and as such I'd more confident with him in there. It's lovely knowing we have a good back up keeper though, and this may be the season we see Bart really try and make the No 1 jersey his own.

I'd have liked to go but had a prior commitment. I'd have loved to go though, if I were to attend any of the pre-season friendlies then an event like this would have been my choice. I hope the people that went had a good time, and that the club isn't against doing a similar thing next season.

There's a "sh i t hits the fan" joke in here, but I can't find it.

Every Second Counts presented by Paul Daniels was the greatest game show on TV, but it had a deeper meaning...