Whitey Grandad

They only do that when they're about to leave for their spiritual home or their boyhood dream or if their head's somewhere else.

Rubbish, I'm still here, and so are some of my mates

An dross Townsend today.

They called us a 'bag of weasels'. I quite like that

No, only 23 until the window blows shut.

I thought Alderweireld was the name of an airport?

Fortunately I watched extended coverage on Sky's Saturday night choice thingy.

We can't possibly know that, I doubt it made the slightest difference.

He could have closed down more quickly. There was not much conviction in his attempt, he looked more like he was keeping his body out if the way.

Don't be such a drama queen.

Yes indeed. So far, so good.

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same;

I watched it on Teletext

Me too!

This is worse than being married. You two should get a room.

Wow.

It's more difficult to steal the wheels off a train. (Yes, yes, I know, reinforcing stereotypes about scousers and all that It's just a joke )

You get a free horse's head in your bed when you wake up.

Nah, you don't need to do that when they're fresh My dad used to like jellied eels, he especially liked the fact that they still had the bones in them and that made them crunchy.

Yes I did. Are you suggesting that I'm the problem?

I'm confused. I thought we were trying to get everybody on the bus?

Say no more I used to take mine home and my mum boiled them up on the kitchen stove. I wonder now whether she actually enjoyed them or if she was just doing it for her little boy. Still, coming from a family of East Londoners...

Don't ever go fishing with me. The fish know I'm there and all go home for the weekend. When I was a boy I lived 100 yds from the beach and used to go fishing off the promenade but all I ever caught was eels. I found out when I was older that once you've caught an eel on a hook it is 'tainted' and all you can catch after that is more eels. I've only been invited a couple of times since and each time nada, niente, nichts, nothing I think I'm still tainted.

Well I'm glad I saw him play. I'll be able to tell my great-grandchildren about it.

Even I might go to this one. I sense a thrashing