Crab Lungs

Well, accy's are how I make an extra income. I'll normally select 15 'banker' teams - ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen and fourteen fold and 15/15 (covering all bases to ensure a return but more expensive!) and have a fairly good record. It's a bit of a learning curve and I've taken a few hits but I definitely reckon I'm doing ok at it. Always worth looking around at some form guides as well, just to check some of the 'bankers' are having a good season, home/away's and current form of 'bankers' and their opposition before any concrete decision. And... I totally have sympathy for some of the guys on here who have lost accy's on freak last minute goals... thankfully, I had a bit of good fortune last year... I'd backed Anderlecht against a rather lowly opponent only to see Anderlecht squander a 1-0 lead late on in the game and subsequently get a player sent off. I was about to screw up my ticket and as the game ticked over into stoppage time, I decided to leave the game behind and go make a cup of tea. I returned to find not only had Anderlecht scored, but they had done so in the 7th and last minute of some rather dubious and unprecedented injury time - so I was quids in again

Is the final July 1st? Methinks Pompey would have gone snap, crackle 'n' pop by then.

Even the administrator is a complete loon. £30m for that pile of old crap? Er, no thank you. And he's going to ask the EPL as to why Portsmouth should incur the penalty points... "I'm going to ask them what for?" - Er, cheating, money laundering?

don't mention that name again, please! only person i've ever seen bottle out of 80-20 challenges in his favour...

But surely you are morally a wrong 'un, whether you cheat with a mates girl or someone elses? Anyway.. moving on...

John Terry to be booed as England's latest pantomine villain by people in the crowd who have probably cheated themselves at somepoint. Steven Gerrard to refuse to pass to literally everyone, despite them being in better positions etc - proper 'Roy of the Rovers' stuff. And the score to be, maybe... an unconvincing 2-0?

LMAO! 60 million per year. LMAO... 'third rate' Southampton - who have higher attendances despite being a lower division, have our own stadium, debt free and have our own training ground (even in its current satisfactory condition) - Oh... THAT Southampton. And that 'large' catchment area is doing well for them at the moment, isn't it? That's some wishful thinking there - who would want a grubby bedsit next to that ****hole of a stadium, anyway? Actually, I think I've just answered my own question...

What a bummer. RIP Kristian.

Lol, let's not forget - they think they OWN their loan players

Spot on. Spot on.

Jesus, Pompey really do not have any scruples or morals, do they? Asking MM to borrow 30m? Die now, please.

I honestly don't think you'll have to wait much longer

LMAO That was brilliant... I don't actually think it dawned on them until a few seconds later...

oh ********... look like this comic strip is taking a bit longer than i expected anyway

I haven't ruled out its one of my mates on a wind up just yet. The content wasn't random, just weird english - and suggestive stuff, like 'just been jogging, hot and sweaty now lol' I lol'd.

The Nueva Andalucia hill, as in... Peggotty's way? Or are we talking 'The Point', 'El Jardin' Nueva Andalucia area? The Horseshoe? Sorry... lol

Haha, is it a stupid question to ask 'which one?' Do you mean the one behind the main waterfront? If so, then yes - though I've never seen it open. That said, I'm normally not around there that much! Plenty of prossies, escorts and sex shops knocking around Marbella - only yesterday had a Colombian working girl messaging me on FB randomly :-o

Ah, thank you.... ...and thank you too. I think it's all pretty self-explanatory now...0

LMAO. I've got SaintsPlayer. I live in Spain. I've stayed behind at work to listen to the game. Committed enough for you? I reeeeeeeally hope so. I don't know what constitutes 'normal' to you...lol

I was at a Portsmouth game last week. The bloke next to me called me a c()nt. I was going to punch his lights out, but I couldn't be bothered walking round the pitch.

make no mistake, HMRC are getting physical:

Lol, love that... how clueless? Revised - best prices considering the age/contract status' of some players...: 1 GK David James (captain) free 3 DF Ricardo Rocha free 4 MF Aaron Mokoena 250k 5 MF Jamie O'Hara (on loan from Tottenham Hotspur) 6 MF Hayden Mullins 250k 7 DF Hermann Hreiðarsson (vice-captain) 0k 8 MF Papa Bouba Diop 500k 9 FW Frédéric Piquionne (on loan from Lyon) 11 MF Michael Brown (vice-captain) 250k 14 FW Quincy Owusu-Abeyie (on loan from Spartak Moscow) 15 GK Antti Niemi free 16 DF Steve Finnan free 17 FW John Utaka 2.5M 18 DF Anthony Vanden Borre (on loan from Genoa) 19 FW Danny Webber 100k 20 FW Tommy Smith 1M 21 GK Jamie Ashdown 750k 22 MF Richard Hughes 500k 23 MF Kevin-Prince Boateng 3M 24 FW Aruna Dindane (on loan from Lens) 25 DF Duško Tošić 0kk (he's not ours though is he) 26 DF Tal Ben Haim 2M 27 FW N****wo Kanu free 32 MF Hassan Yebda (on loan from Benfica) 33 MF Angelos Basinas free 35 DF Marc Wilson 2M 37 MF Gaël N'Lundulu 39 MF Nadir Belhadj 8M 40 DF Joel Ward 43 DF James Hurst 44 DF Luke Wilkinson 46 DF Lennard Sowah Er.... I got 21,050,000!!! weird... pretty much what HMRC said

Thanks... though I just realised a typo

For those of you who missed the first edition... and for those of you who want a sneak preview into part 2...

part 2 of 'Peter - Storrie-teller' will be available around 8-9pm tonight :-)