Dark Munster

No problem. All they have to do is give Cheats FC a quick ring to ask how to successfully skirt around it.

****!

Richards is sadly not with us (RIP), and Morgan is touch and go fitness-wise.

Maybe this is part of Nicola's cunning plan to avoid having to overpay for a LB and CB during the next window. Give the impression that the Liebherrs have pulled the plug and that he has to resort to dodgy loan sharks for running costs.

Don't forget Mummy and/or Daddy have to buy a ticket to accompany little Johnny to Krap Nottarf. So Cheats FC can cash in on these extra suckers as well. You have to hand it to the Cheats: they've made screwing all and sundry into quite a fine art .

Well, if (as expected) Chinny* takes over, I somehow don't think he will find a decision on the playing staff budget difficult. * And I think he's in a bit of a hurry now, since Tricky Trev is burning through his cash faster than Avram does at Fufu's.

So Tricky Trev is blowing a huge wedge of the dwindling parachute monies on yet another overpaid mercenary. Maybe Chinny will have to give him a ring to have a little chat about this.

Another innocent victim of fartoniser banning all and sundry in a desperate and futile attempt to get Kraken and Pamplemousse.

10K is a boycott. 11K is packing the park. HTH.

If Nicola keeps making those mistakes Nige may lose patience and show him the door.

But Appleton says he is not worried that those comments could lead to him being out of a job. "At the end of the day, there will always be a job out there for Michael Appleton," he said. Isn't it one of the first signs of madness talking about yourself in the third person? "Why do I say that? Because I can look myself in the mirror every single day knowing I've given 100%. I work as hard as I possibly can on the training field with the players. Say what you will about Voldemort (incompetent, not the sharpest tool in the shed, etc.), but at least he's got guts. He peaked at 17 goals in 28 appearances for Fisher Athletic. I think Voldemort has found just the right level of player for Cheats FC.

Woo hoo! Saintsweb is back up. WTFH? 2-2 tomorrow.

Which coincidentally is when the parachutes dry up, Chinny finally buggers off, and the Cheats FC rotten corpse finally dies. Yep, I think you can safely retire from nutjobdom in 2 years time. I wonder how may posts you'll hit by then - probably a world record.

Come on nutjobs, hurry up, or some boring fart is going to be the first to post on page 1500.

Cheats FC going pop, or the PTS reaching page 1500?

Fratbrat 9:22 AM on 26/09/2012 I'm starting to worry for Appy's mental health! We're actually a medium-sized fish in about the right-sized pond. Based on our hard core support of around 8-10k, our run-down small ground etc, PFC is a borderline championship/ L1 club. That is where we would have been over the past 10 years had various owners not blown some £150 million we didn't have . Time we got used to it and lived in the real world. It is our future. Either a skate who's seen the light, or one of us nutjobs in disguise. Having said that, borderline championship/L1 club is too flattering. Soon they'll be borderline Wessex league/nonexistent.

Ah yes, the classic Corpse quote. That will be in there when the PTS Greatest Hits get released. In fairness to Corpse though, he would have been spot on if "the club" he was referring to was the Saints, and "you lot" were the phew.

Did anyone give Mad Milan a thumbs up on the way out?

Wouldn't fancy meeting her in a dark alley.

Agreed completely, Nick. I'm assuming, of course, that "safe" is your euphemism for f*cked.

And you'll have a pack of nutjobs chasing after you, baying for blood.