Grey Crab

Bradley Wright Phillips.

Is this a cunning way to open contract negotiations with Liverpool?

It's 2 months.

I used to have one of them. Not many features but the battery life was good.

What Hatch said.

‏@rustyrockets: "Can you tell what it is yet?" Yes Rolf, it's indecent assault.

Yeh, that's right. It's JUST like that.

...would we have been able to convince others to stay? I'm not blaming Lambert, but if he'd have been convinced to stay, would he have been the catalyst for others to stay too? It seems to me have had a domino effect.

Surely you can only counter attack quickly into space if the other team allow you that space? Fine against attacking sides, but the Premier League is quite full of teams that sit behind the ball.

Turkish didn't post anything during that entire minute. Not one thing. It was a moment in time.

I think you should tell the police.

"Hello. Mrs. Jones? Mother of the late Private David Jones? Yes, I am really sorry about your son but Ian Wright told me I need to ring. I'm just letting you know that I don't want to play for England because I want to prolong my career and I have been susceptible to injur... why are you crying? Hello? Hello? Mrs. Jones? Listen, I know you are upset, but Wrighty DID specifically tell me I had to call..."

...and lost, subsuming their Jute, Angle, Viking, Roman, Saxon, etc. cultures into what we now call 'British'.

Great news! Now hopefully everyone slagging off Katherine Liebherr/Les Reed/Ralph Krueger can shut up.

...and now that the jokes are over, Turkish is getting down to the serious business of internet detective work. Let's hope they solve the case of two people having similar opinions - it's a bit suspicious isn't it? I mean, two different people on the internet BOTH thinking Turkish is a thicko?

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Turkish is doing a joke!

I think that Koeman's first job - as he will see if he logs on to Saints Web and looks at the Latest News section of the homepage - is to steer Saints through that tricky 5th Round match against Sunderland that we've been on tenterhooks about for the past 5 months. What do you think his priorities should be after that? List the top 5 priorities.

Gary Cahill? Budweiser just haven't got the budget of Pepsi/EA Sports/Nike, have they?

Until you get the hint that it's a sh*t idea?

A managerial appointment that is received favourably by the fans? This doesn't bode well.

I've just discovered that my Grandma is one quarter Brazilian.* England have had their chance to give me a call up to the supporters club. I'm not going to hold on any longer so I'm going to start supporting Brazil. *fanny (partly shaved)

And let's face it, John Barnes has shown how to spot a player in his illustrious managerial career.

Leave Minsk alone. He fought for democracy and the right to tell everybody who didn't fight for democracy that they are not allowed to have an opinion because they didn't fight for democracy like the people who fought for democracy. Where were you in 1982? That's right: you weren't even born, Ludwig, you traitor. How long have you served in the British Armed Forces? That's right: you haven't, you traitor. What the f*ck have you ever done for England/Britain/the UK? That's right: nothing, because you weren't in the armed forces so you haven't done anything because anybody that wasn't in the armed forces has never done anything for England/Britain/the UK because it's impossible to have done anything for England/Britain/the UK if you weren't in the armed forces.

OH MY GOD! I TAKE IT BACK. THE ARGIE *****S HAVE GONE TOO FAR NOW.

I was watching the first series of On Safari with Christopher Biggins. It was brilliant telly.