Secret Site Agent

Offix, I'll see your bet and raise you fifty.

Waht is he doing here HIS REVENGE

To me all this says is that they had a punt and bought in expertise to get back into the Prem. And failed miserably. (And don't berate me for the 'bought in expertise' line, it's just a management expression in my blue sky world).

Put it in the FA handbook as a warning to other clubs.

Rupert lowe: We all think he's a C***, but at least he is loved by the mole people.

When asked what he thought about being chairman again, Lowe said, 'It'll be a gas.' The rest of the board thought they wouldn't take any chances

Sorry about this everyone, but SMS is built on a former gas works. (I'm starting to get deperate)

'Welcome to the annual general meeting of the Southern Sado masichists club. First on the agenda is inviting this man to be our general secretary so that he can explain how he can inflict so much pain on 15 thousand people at once, over such a long period of time'

'And this is the face of our new member. So all in favour of admitting Lowe to the Gimps Anonimous club please raise your hands.'

The consortium from Wimbledon Common discuss the only stumbling block to their Southampton take over bid

This is the face of our agent on Earth, whose mission it is to ruin the Saints Football Club.

The preparations are underway for Ian Dowie at the club

When Lowe said to 'mask the dodgy dealings in the board room' i don't think he meant this.

Will the real Richard Chorley please stand up

As said above. Perhaps it's a case of providing what their customers want!!!!!! ARE YOU LISTENING MASTER LOWE

I recall that when i was, ahem, watching the match that the commentator on Satanta (not sure who he is) did mention the same thing, but in general not specifically about the game, and also was praising Lowe in that he was the best one to guide us through these tricky waters. And according to my Polish mate, whose french is better than mine, the Frogs, especially the bird, were saying something along the lines of Jan has done well with the limited talent and funds at his hands and it is good that he is being given time to develop them and are playing a more explosive game, (which I think he meant a faster open game). Their general round up was we were outmatched, as we were playing a world beating side, with some un-unique, (which I took as being very poor) decisions going against us.

Oh, of course. IMHO and a FFS and finally a W00T

Was he smugger than a smug person who has been named Dean of Smugness in the smug department at Smugness College, Oxford?

I know what this is!!!!!!!! My source told me, not last week, but the week before, I think. It was definatly before Christmas I know that as we were discussing the Plymouth game. Apparently, and don't crucify me if I am wrong as i am only the messenger, is that they are planning of bringing in and changing, due to certain factors, a number of, and the precise number escapes me as I am not sure if he mentioned a number or not, or it may be only a few, any way, where was I.....Ahh yes, they are looking to replacing certain elements at St Marys stadium, and bringing in new elements to replace the ones that are currently here, as they see them as possibly being the problem. in a nutshell they are looking at replacing a number of the stainless steel washers with nitrile ones. I can only assume it must be some sort of bi-metallic corrosion problem, or Galvanic corrosion problem as you will. I can only guess that there must be some sort of problem between the stainless steel washers and the mild steel used in construction, although I haven't noticed any. Bloody dis-similar metals. If I find out any more I'll let you all know. Aledgedly.

I came here to do the same thing. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS FROM ME AND MINE GOD BLESS AND HERES TO THE NEW YEAR AND ALL IT'S UPS AND DOWNS.

As no one answered and this looks a bit lonely, one threat all on its own. I'll join ya, MB. Yeh, get it right. You muppet, ETC.

If that is a picture of Jason White, wasn't it a case of he started the abuse to a young lad and the lad was in distress when a gang formed and JW gave them some verbal and they then decided to kick off? I don't condone the violence and no matter what he did he doesn't deserve that for just trying to do his job. But trust me, I have seen a man talk down armed men, I have been threatened with violence quite a few times, (over lay offs, wages, re-works, even for promoting a lad),and have come out the over side without a scratch. Sometimes it just comes with the territory, and you have to be prepared to deal with the public by disarming them, (emotionally, not literally). When I do work I have cause some of the biggest traffic jams in the country, all in the name of the Highways Agency, and it is me that have to face them down, not those that order the works. Peoples cars get damaged, sometimes it is the cause of my workforce, (very rarely) sometimes they drive too fast into the cones and try and blame us. Remember, this is a man who is you speak to him in the wrong way will fine you another £ 50.00, (which may or may not be legal), whilst holding your vehicle hostage, and apparently has practices which are not in line with the industry. All I am saying is that all jobs have occupational hazards that we have to risk assess and put in mitigation measures. I don't **** off people who I have already ****ed off so no one wants to put me into a world of hurt. For £450.00 I could teach him and his employees all about conflict management and resolution. And not that 2 day crap that some bouncer schools teach, I am talking the proper stuff here. I am so convinced at my abilities that I could be caught in bed with my wifes mother, her sister, her best friend and Lucy pinder, and I could calm her down, and convince her it is her fault and get some oral pleasure from her in the end.......... NAH, I'm good, but I'm not that good. Perhaps I could sort out the middle east instead.

Many moons ago I was in charge of building an extension to a supermarket, which shall remain nameless but do expensive mince pies. Part of the car park was to be taken up to allow the extention so we set up our offices and dug a big trench through the car park, 1.5 m deep and 1 m wide, to extend the cables and pipework. We had about 20 cars and vans parked here, and to get to it you had to drive across a big metal plate. One morning a group of clampers turned up in their van and clamped every car and van, as we were apparently parked 'illegally', not within the lines and not displaying a ticket after being there for more than two hours.. So I got the big excavator to remove the plate and they couldn't escape, and arranged for the hire of a couple of minibusses to take the work force home. First they we going to beat the **** out of me until I pointed out that this was not only a criminal offence, but they were surrounded by 40 groundworks chappies who would not be too happy if this happened. They then called the police. I spoke to the store manager who said it was nothing to do with them the clamping firm were just employed seperatly by his head office but his head office should have informed them we were there. The police arrived and said that it was a civil matter as the clampers had trespassed onto a construction site and it was private property, as it no longer belonged to the car park owners, but to the store. The sergant even said, with a smile on his face, that WE had the right to have their vehicles towed away at their expense. Clamps were removed and their van allowed to leave after I had a cup of coffee and I had stopped laughing. I made the evening press, spoke on local radio and national radio to the late Mike Dickens on Talksport. Oh happy day. Clampers should be regulated, licenced and restricted to a national tariff for removal, the same as parking tickets. You should have 30 days to pay and t5he ability to appeal to an independant body.

I heard that he was related to herod And he removed vital bulkhead doors from the titanic And he voted off John Sergant And he is really Simon Cowell, (you never see them together) And he caused the collapse of woolworths Alledgedly

Thats not fair. Typical