Bearsy Posted 11 March, 2015 Share Posted 11 March, 2015 woman with dirty mouth, means man with clean penis .............................................. - Martin Luther King Jr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 11 March, 2015 Share Posted 11 March, 2015 Punctured! I was thinking of using Gilette Fusion, not 9" hunting knife! Do it yourself vasectomy, plenty of YouTube vids on how to do one ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fowllyd Posted 11 March, 2015 Share Posted 11 March, 2015 F*ck off, c*nt. Sorry Lou, but that comma is a give-away. No hairy-arsed bloke would ever put a comma in that sentence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 11 March, 2015 Share Posted 11 March, 2015 Why would you shave your genital area? At least we now know you're not a bloke. You must be either a lesbo, Greenham Common 6 Pinter or a German , which one is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 11 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 11 March, 2015 Sorry Lou, but that comma is a give-away. No hairy-arsed bloke would ever put a comma in that sentence. D*mn, d*mn you! It's all in the detail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 11 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 11 March, 2015 At least we now know you're not a bloke. You must be either a lesbo, Greenham Common 6 Pinter or a German , which one is it? Ducky, sorry I don't understand! Are bikini waxes the latest thing amongst male UKIP voters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 11 March, 2015 Share Posted 11 March, 2015 Ducky, sorry I don't understand! Are bikini waxes the latest thing amongst male UKIP voters? Politics has nothing to do with personal grooming issues. Although I'm sure lefties like Abbott and Harman have horrendous muffs . UKIP's policy is it's up to the individual not hairy faceless Eurocrats how you present your privates . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 11 March, 2015 Share Posted 11 March, 2015 I found my first grey pubic hair the other day. It was in a Ginster's pastie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 11 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 11 March, 2015 Politics has nothing to do with personal grooming issues. Although I'm sure lefties like Abbott and Harman have horrendous muffs . UKIP's policy is it's up to the individual not hairy faceless Eurocrats how you present your privates . And neither do sexual preferences. I did some Life drawing classes a few years back and one of the models was a completely hairless guy. That freaked me out a bit. It was very, um, exposing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 11 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 11 March, 2015 I found my first grey pubic hair the other day. It was in a Ginster's pastie. Ew. Sales of Ginsters pasties, in the Southampton area, will be taking a nose dive tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 11 March, 2015 Share Posted 11 March, 2015 And neither do sexual preferences. I did some Life drawing classes a few years back and one of the models was a completely hairless guy. That freaked me out a bit. It was very, um, exposing! Do you know when you sign up if the model is a chick or a bloke? When Mrs Duck had one of her marathon headaches I could pop along and have a perv , although knowing my luck I'd get a hairy *****r . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 11 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 11 March, 2015 Do you know when you sign up if the model is a chick or a bloke? When Mrs Duck had one of her marathon headaches I could pop along and have a perv , although knowing my luck I'd get a hairy *****r . After you see a lot of naked people, it just not a big deal anymore. Even you will forget to perv. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 11 March, 2015 Share Posted 11 March, 2015 After you see a lot of naked people, it just not a big deal anymore. Even you will forget to perv. No way can you " forget" to perv . Maybe if you're Keith Richard you've had plenty of chicks , but the ordinary joe will always find something to perv at . If you've been on a 2 week holiday and seen loads of chicks half naked on the beach day after day , you'll not get fed up at looking . I guess it's up to the organisers of the art class to ensure the models are fit, as I can stay at home if I want to look at a 40 year olds body. As an aside did any if the blokes you painted get a stiffy , because if a load of birds were looking at me naked , I'd have at least a semi. It could get a bit embarrassing , particularly if they turned the heating down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 12 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 12 March, 2015 No way can you " forget" to perv . Maybe if you're Keith Richard you've had plenty of chicks , but the ordinary joe will always find something to perv at . If you've been on a 2 week holiday and seen loads of chicks half naked on the beach day after day , you'll not get fed up at looking . I guess it's up to the organisers of the art class to ensure the models are fit, as I can stay at home if I want to look at a 40 year olds body. As an aside did any if the blokes you painted get a stiffy , because if a load of birds were looking at me naked , I'd have at least a semi. It could get a bit embarrassing , particularly if they turned the heating down A lot of the models have what I would call interesting figures, ie. good to draw, lots of stuff going on. Think the opposite of a skinny young lass. Highly likely, the opposite of what you're looking for. Yes, I've seen a semi before. But it's not a big deal, everyone just gets on with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbelievable Jeff Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 I'm doing life drawing as part of a stag do I am going on (my mate is an artist and we're doing a kind of 'life in a day' thang), but apparently they do it for stag do's and provide with attractive women, rather than you're normal dumplings. Not sure it's really up my street though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Not sure it's really up my street though. Is that because of all those bloody masons parked outside? Sorry Jeff, I couldn't resist it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucks Saint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 I'm doing life drawing as part of a stag do I am going on (my mate is an artist and we're doing a kind of 'life in a day' thang), but apparently they do it for stag do's and provide with attractive women, rather than you're normal dumplings. Not sure it's really up my street though. Life drawing and stag do combined?? Fair one - a few challenges in there for everyone involved Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 12 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Life drawing and stag do combined?? Fair one - a few challenges in there for everyone involved Oh. My. God. I'm appalled at the idea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucks Saint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Next week: taking communion on a stag do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 A lot of the models have what I would call interesting figures, ie. good to draw, lots of stuff going on. . In other words , fat munters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 I'm doing life drawing as part of a stag do I am going on (my mate is an artist and we're doing a kind of 'life in a day' thang), but apparently they do it for stag do's and provide with attractive women, rather than you're normal dumplings. Not sure it's really up my street though. That actually sounds pretty cool, way more interesting than the usual alcohol fuelled stripper binge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Next week: taking communion on a stag do Yeah Bucks, stag-dos themed around a person's employment is certainly an interesting concept – I wonder what my undertaker mate has lined up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 12 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 12 March, 2015 In other words , fat munters. I wasn't talking about you, ducky. I was describing the life models. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Oh. My. God. I'm appalled at the idea! Interesting on the radio this morning, apparently only 9% of women asked would go to a male strip/lap dancing club. No figures on blokes going to normal strip clubs. For mine, I've been to a strip club once, got taken to Stringfellows. This earnest young thing in front of me waggling her bits with a grin like a Chesire cat, it was so funny. I felt sorry for the poor girl as I was laughing so much.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 I wasn't talking about you, ducky. I was describing the life models. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Ew. Sales of Ginsters pasties, in the Southampton area, will be taking a nose dive tomorrow. Better than finding a pube at the bottom of a Bloody Mary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Interesting on the radio this morning, apparently only 9% of women asked would go to a male strip/lap dancing club. No figures on blokes going to normal strip clubs. For mine, I've been to a strip club once, got taken to Stringfellows. This earnest young thing in front of me waggling her bits with a grin like a Chesire cat, it was so funny. I felt sorry for the poor girl as I was laughing so much.. Last time I went to one for a mate's do there was this poor girl with a caesarian scar putting on the most appallingly fake Russian accent. I felt bad more than anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 I'm doing life drawing as part of a stag do I am going on (my mate is an artist and we're doing a kind of 'life in a day' thang), but apparently they do it for stag do's and provide with attractive women, rather than you're normal dumplings. Not sure it's really up my street though. I presume you'll not need to sing GYTOFTL then? On a serious note, I honestly don't understand why someone would want to sit/lay/stand naked for so long while people draw them. The drawing part I get, I love drawing and haven't done enough of it for while, but being a model with no clothes on for that length of time? Nah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Pssst, PL. Men do have hairy balls don't they? I can't remember, haven't seen any recently! Neither have I !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 I presume you'll not need to sing GYTOFTL then? Tried to figure out what you're on about but I give up ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Neither have I !!! Nah, we all man-scape nowadays, it is a sign of the times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Tried to figure out what you're on about but I give up ! Get your baps out for the lads. You need to read the sexism thread but I shouldn't mention that here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Nah, we all man-scape nowadays, it is a sign of the times. Hahaha, I like that. Does that mean I lady-scape ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Pssst, PL. Men do have hairy balls don't they? I can't remember, haven't seen any recently! Neither have I !!! Ladies, this could be your lucky day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Get your baps out for the lads. You need to read the sexism thread but I shouldn't mention that here... Ah, thanks for the clarification. I have been known to do that in the past Why shouldn't you mention it, this is the Muppet Show after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Tried to figure out what you're on about but I give up ! Tsk, newbie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Hahaha, I like that. Does that mean I lady-scape ? Unless you're from Texas, in which case its landscape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 12 March, 2015 Author Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Ladies, this could be your lucky day! You still coming to the Farmhouse, Halo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucks Saint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Last time I went to one for a mate's do there was this poor girl with a caesarian scar putting on the most appallingly fake Russian accent. I felt bad more than anything else. Last time I went to one, one of the party was thrown out. For falling asleep. For an hour. They took offence I think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucks Saint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 You still coming to the Farmhouse, Halo? Based on this new spirit of friendly togetherness, I hope the Farmhouse is putting on an extra member of staff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 You still coming to the Farmhouse, Halo? If I did I would have to drag Mrs Stickman along, and I'm not sure that would be in anyone's best interests, least of all mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Nah, we all man-scape nowadays, it is a sign of the times. Do we?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Ah, thanks for the clarification. I have been known to do that in the past Why shouldn't you mention it, this is the Muppet Show after all. Because this is the "Nice and Friendly" thread and *that* topic takes it ever so slightly off course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Do we?? Join the 21st century Bob, it's the era of the hairless metro. At least beards are coming back in a big way though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 (edited) Join the 21st century Bob, it's the era of the hairless metro. Thank heaven's for that! I once had a very nasty experience with a hairy metro – it became derailed at Shepherd's Bush and tore up the tracks all the way to Marble Arch. Boom boom. Edited 12 March, 2015 by Halo Stickman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbelievable Jeff Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Life drawing and stag do combined?? Fair one - a few challenges in there for everyone involved And then hovercraft racing. Pretty random day all in all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbelievable Jeff Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Is that because of all those bloody masons parked outside? Sorry Jeff, I couldn't resist it. Ha, nope, cos I'm rubbish at drawing. I may just sit there and have a long vvank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Join the 21st century Bob, it's the era of the hairless metro. At least beards are coming back in a big way though. Don't know if I can be bothered with the ongoing maintenance to stop the itching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 Don't know if I can be bothered with the ongoing maintenance to stop the itching. No itching if it's done properly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 12 March, 2015 Share Posted 12 March, 2015 How many of you go to a barber's for a wet shave, do they offer wet shaves for balls ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now