The Fab FAB

[Turkish]

1 hour ago, Mboto Gorge said:

Does anyone know if the FAB have any priorities to discuss at the next meeting? Any agenda lined up? I fully expect some groundbreaking initiatives to be implemented next season in order to make it an even better matchday experience for every fan, bearing in mind they’re all lifelong avid fans who’ve been going for decades. 

I’ve seen the agenda and the items on it are as follows

1 Catching and punishing those who breached the bubble rules

2 reintroduction of a grassing hotline to report fans who misbehave in or outside the stadium - see above

3 Pre poured half time drinks

4 review performance of push notifications on the app

5 an place on the app to reports stadium Maintenance issues in real time, such as toilets running out of bog roll

[franniesTache]

16 hours ago, Turkish said:

I’ve seen the agenda and the items on it are as follows

1 Catching and punishing those who breached the bubble rules

2 reintroduction of a grassing hotline to report fans who misbehave in or outside the stadium - see above

3 Pre poured half time drinks

4 review performance of push notifications on the app

5 an place on the app to reports stadium Maintenance issues in real time, such as toilets running out of bog roll

Is there any truth in the fact they're finally discussing how to stop people from saying nasty words to the away fans? Apparently one away fan was accused of having a face with it's own gravitational pull the other week because it was so big and this really hurt his feelings.

Also hopefully they'll be talking about how we can invest more money in the women's team because the mens team is taking too much of it.

I believe The FAB will be on the money with these things given how well they represent us

[Turkish]

13 minutes ago, franniesTache said:

Is there any truth in the fact they're finally discussing how to stop people from saying nasty words to the away fans? Apparently one away fan was accused of having a face with it's own gravitational pull the other week because it was so big and this really hurt his feelings.

Also hopefully they'll be talking about how we can invest more money in the women's team because the mens team is taking too much of it.

I believe The FAB will be on the money with these things given how well they represent us

See point 2, luckily the grassing hotline will be available for you to report this sort of behaviour immediately. The last thing we want is for visiting fans not to be welcome which includes anything about their appearance that might make them targets. It’s great that’s you already recognise this as an issue which only confirms the FAB have their finger of pulse of all the big issues 

[franniesTache]

29 minutes ago, Turkish said:

See point 2, luckily the grassing hotline will be available for you to report this sort of behaviour immediately. The last thing we want is for visiting fans not to be welcome which includes anything about their appearance that might make them targets. It’s great that’s you already recognise this as an issue which only confirms the FAB have their finger of pulse of all the big issues 

Hopefully the FAB will leads us all in a round of "We Appreciate That You're Here, We Appreciate That You're Here" to the away fans tomorrow to show how welcoming we are as a club.

Maybe followed by "We respect you because you've travelled", or "Whatever happens, we hope football wins"

[Turkish]

12 minutes ago, franniesTache said:

Hopefully the FAB will leads us all in a round of "We Appreciate That You're Here, We Appreciate That You're Here" to the away fans tomorrow to show how welcoming we are as a club.

Maybe followed by "We respect you because you've travelled", or "Whatever happens, we hope football wins"

I come from Southampton the pride of South 

we love everyone and wish them good heath 

we are the saints we do not sin 

all we want is for football to win

Southampton people are in town 

Edited yesterday at 13:43 by Turkish

[Patrick Bateman]

4 hours ago, franniesTache said:

Is there any truth in the fact they're finally discussing how to stop people from saying nasty words to the away fans? Apparently one away fan was accused of having a face with it's own gravitational pull the other week because it was so big and this really hurt his feelings.

Also hopefully they'll be talking about how we can invest more money in the women's team because the mens team is taking too much of it.

I believe The FAB will be on the money with these things given how well they represent us

Surely that can't actually be real??? Jesus wept.

 

[Holmes_and_Watson]

43 minutes ago, Patrick Bateman said:

Surely that can't actually be real??? Jesus wept.

 

I heard they were sorting out blasphemy too.

[Turkish]

2 minutes ago, Holmes_and_Watson said:

I heard they were sorting out blasphemy too.

Not before time. Using the lord or son’s name in vein is insulting to Christian’s. It’s also not inclusive of other religions or takes into account our atheist fans base. The sooner we get the grassing hotline the better, it’s 2026 yet people still think it’s the 70s 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

[trousers]

[Toussaint]

Every game will be a mandatory draw,  losing can make people sad and cause anxiety. Winning is elitist and a form of bullying in the workplace. 

[Noodles34]

I’m worried for tomorrow now.  There’s been enough time for the FAB to work out who I am and I have a feeling that @franniesTache may have used the ‘grassing hotline’. 
As I walk through the Itchen North turnstile I will remind myself of when I crossed the Thai/Malay border with 2k worth of Kit Kats and  the composure I kept. However, this is the FAB, another level, got a bad feeling about it. 

[Turkish]

1 hour ago, Noodles34 said:

I’m worried for tomorrow now.  There’s been enough time for the FAB to work out who I am and I have a feeling that @franniesTache may have used the ‘grassing hotline’. 
As I walk through the Itchen North turnstile I will remind myself of when I crossed the Thai/Malay border with 2k worth of Kit Kats and  the composure I kept. However, this is the FAB, another level, got a bad feeling about it. 

My sources tell me you have been on the FABs radar for a while now. Your sins allegedly include shouting at an opposition player with large nostrils he could smell a Sunday roast on Wednesdays, abusing a bald away fan by slapping your forehead and suggesting northerners eat off the floor. Be very afraid your little stunt with the bubble breach is the final straw. This sort of unacceptable behaviour has no place at SMS

Edited yesterday at 20:43 by Turkish

[Turkish]

@Noodles34 is quiet, I assume he is in front the committee right now after being spotted today 

[tdmickey3]

1 minute ago, Turkish said:

@Noodles34 is quiet, I assume he is in front the committee right now after being spotted today 

[Holmes_and_Watson]

21 minutes ago, Turkish said:

@Noodles34 is quiet, I assume he is in front the committee right now after being spotted today 

The F.A.B. discuss Noodles's fate...

[Mboto Gorge]

22 hours ago, Turkish said:

My sources tell me you have been on the FABs radar for a while now. Your sins allegedly include shouting at an opposition player with large nostrils he could smell a Sunday roast on Wednesdays, abusing a bald away fan by slapping your forehead and suggesting northerners eat off the floor. Be very afraid your little stunt with the bubble breach is the final straw. This sort of unacceptable behaviour has no place at SMS

Rumour has it he also victimised a strawberry blonde player on the opposition team earlier this season by referencing him to a maize based cheese snack of the same colour. Totally unnecessary and unnaceptable and deserves the strongest form of sanctioning 

Edited 4 hours ago by Mboto Gorge

[AlexLaw76]

They have probably gone quiet because they are in the last round of voting for the style of the rainbow-themed foam hands set to be released by the club.

[ChrisPY]

Do we get special smoke released from the St Mary’s chimney when a new member is voted in?

[Holmes_and_Watson]

1 hour ago, ChrisPY said:

Do we get special smoke released from the St Mary’s chimney when a new member is voted in?

Vice Squad arrest F.A.B. in election misunderstanding!