Miltonaggro

Any vitriol here should be focused on ASDA who are selling the masks for £4.99. Broken Britain...

It is Sonia from Eastenders. She's Arsenal's fitness coach...

This...

This is what happens when your club stops being a club, and becomes an incorporated franchise. Liverpool and United are similarly gifted with speculative itinerant dinlos as part of their far reaching fanbases. It's care in the community with merchandising...

Top class player, top class manager, thoroughly decent human being. What a treat...

Our two defensive loanees have been immense this season, immense. Sincerely hope we sign both on permanent deals in this window.

The IQ of a tennis racquet...

Must be incredible for the Cherries to have a player like Boruc in the side, and fair play to Saints for helping make their dreams come true...

Don't you realise they've won the title of the most deluded fans in world football, forty six times since the war. Give them some credit...

To be fair AFC Wimbledon are a big club with decent support, lol! Imagine for a moment the dream scenario of Saints finishing top four above Liverpool and Spurs, and the Pompey Scum being relegated out of the football league. If we wish hard enough, it might just happen...

The national elf. If Warwick Davies ever decides to retire...

Both very solid buys who got up to speed quickly, three similar in January please...

Tourette's bingo or public executions. Hear me out...

Morgan Schneiderlin...

Crap Box...

Or failing that, a traffic cone...

Les Reed and Martin Hunter's nickname for him was 'milk and two sugars Mitchell' and under Koeman his role was expanded to include waffles. At Spurs he has executive responsibility for their new state of the art Dolce Gusto machine. Credit where it's due...

This is the start. When they play Saints Lallana is going to reprise John Hurt in Alien in the centre circle - The Alien will be wearing a Saints shirt...

Once Mitchell has exhausted his hastily downloaded database he will find himself back at MK Dons. For every Wanyama signed during his sojourn there's an Osvaldo and then some...

Yes, loved Artur, but a shame that the inflated ego got in the way of progress...

Terrible tonight and telling that his centre forward hesitates to pass to him and looks for other options in the final third. Raw talent but far too law for the top flight right now...

Christ that was f*cking frustrating. So many silly schoolboy errors!

1. Chelsea 2. Man C 3. COYR 4. Man U 5. West Ham 6. Newcastle 7. Swansea 18. Spurs 19. Leicester C 20. QPR

Spot on!

The fantasy hooligan equivalent of Lord of the Rings!...