SNSUN

Poor old Isgrove's new contract has been put in the shade a bit!

Wow, I broke the news first. I officially declare myself ITK.

Never! It's legit. Oh, and doesn't Luke have lovely manicured hands!

It's happened! Here is real, ITK photographic evidence...

My missus is gutted, she had a soft spot for Chaplow. Called him Chappers. It sparked when I took her to see Saints play in League One - I forget who we played now, but Chaplow played on the left and was exceptional. I think he got MOTM. She always hoped that one day he'd join Norwich. She's weird. She also fancies David Bentley. Of all the players in the depths of our squad last season, of all the lower league players that suddenly found themselves part of a Premier League team, the one I wouldn't have been too concerned about getting game time was Chaplow. He always gives his all, and is far from being a poor player. Millwall, or whoever gets him, will have a good little player on their hands.

Some of our youngsters look like schoolkids - I remember Jo "Fish" Mills looked like he should have still been in primary school - but Isgrove looks older than he is. Fully grown? Shove him in the first team!

He's of legal drinking age and they're in a warm country. He'll sign the contract at 8pm, take the necessary press photos, and go out afterwards to get royally bladdered on the old sangria and margheritas. One hopes. Leaving it until they get back to England would cause multiple suicides amongst Saints fans.

I wonder whether we'd target other Kenyans. I'm not sure how good they are in general, I know one plays in France, but most are home based. We did it in the past with Bleidelis and Chala. I'm not saying sign a player just for the sake of appeasing Wanyama, but I wonder if there are any talented Kenyans that could come in that would a)help Victor settle and b) add to our squad. Anyone know of any?

Manchester United Chelsea Arsenal Saints: 11th, poor end to a promising season. Player of the season is JRod, who helps himself to 19 goals and 9 assists. Relegated, in no particular order: Crystal Palace Newcastle Sunderland. North East football implodes. Hull however survive by the skin of their teeth. Cardiff finish an impressive 14th.

I agree it's too soon to start predicting starting line ups, especially still with a month and a half of the transfer window remaining (and over a month until the first Premier League game). Hypothetically though, as the squad stands, it'd probably be Boruc, Clyne, Lovren, Jos, Shaw, Morgan, Wanyama, Lallana, Ramirez, JRod, Lambert. Subs: Gazzaniga, Yoshida, Fox, Cork, Davis, Puncheon, Mayuka. I still think we'll see a winger/AM and a striker brought in at the very least, with possibly another centre back to follow. I know from earlier in the summer we were targetting a right back too, with the loss of Richardson and Butterfield, as competition to Clyne, so I wonder if that will still happen. Happy with the squad otherwise. Eventually if we want to push for Europe we'll need another top keeper IMO.

A millionaire by his 19th birthday. Is that right?

How many hours did I have to trawl through porno archives to find those pictures of Wanyama's massive willy giving girls pained sex faces. LOTS. That's right. And now the thread's gone. LOTS of hours. Wasted. It wasn't fun, it was exhausting research. Exhausting. I cannot believe the thread is gone with all the goodness it contained. I'm not happy. I would trade all 11 of my rep points to have that thread back again. And it's not even in the Golden Threads section. It's not been properly re-homed. I feel lost without that thread, naked even. Like the women in the pictures. That was some of Tokes best work too. It's a sad day.

Ooh sensible naming thread. Boy: George Girl: Elizabeth Hermaphrodite: Won't happen.

I covered my arse with the invisible "n". No way do I want that kind of ITK pressure.

Are you sure that's not a STAG party? I'll get me coat.

I am 1000% sure it'll be Bueno. I am nITK.

Boy: Tarquin Girl: Esmerelda Herma: Jamie Lee.

People posting inappropriate pictures and whatnot. They is knobheads. >>

I personally don't think we'll get either Osvaldo or Damaio. Damiao seems to want to go to Italy, and I'd be truly surprised if we managed to lure Osvaldo. We need a striker, and while we tend to aim for young, up and coming talented individuals, a striker IMO is better when he's proved he can score goals. To that end someone like Hooper or even Bent would be a good signing. I think Benteke will go to one of the bigger clubs. I'd take Defoe. Granted he's knocking on a bit but he's always scored goals. Think HCDAJFU.

Perhaps Wanyama saw the massive, large, long, black, heavy, tubular coach in our car park and felt more at home. Just wonderin'...

I hope so. Having Danny Fox as first choice left back all season scares the living ****** out of me.

Or he's not found a fanny big enough to satisfy him...

I love following SWF for transfer news - it's usually first, and that meant I got to watch SSN for the breaking news and Jim wassisface get all excited about it! Love it. I missed the Lovren transfer so this excitement makes up for it! Statement of intent? I think so. Perhaps this will encourage the other big names we're after that we mean business.

Man he has a massive penis! Watch, I meant to say watch. Anyway welcome aboard Victor! Very happy with this, now get a move on with the next signing - we're three players away from perfection IMO.

Our car park is a lot steeper than I remember it.