SNSUN

I've been given about a million Orange magic numbers but I only know two other people on Orange so it defeats the object. I've been with Orange for years, Orange Wednesdays is a brilliant idea, and their customer service has been good, but it's true their reception is iffy, but getting better. My Desire sometimes takes a while to find web pages depending where I am. I'm sticking with Orange, but for somebody getting the Desire, I'd suggest Three or O2.

Six, I sheet you not. Twas my next door neighbour. I also toungued her. Caroline her name was, she was older than me - I do believe I was acting on her command, and had no knowledge that what I was doing was sexual. I was a right little babe magnet at primary school, then I got sent to an all boys boarding school and the women ceased. (Fortunately they was no gheyness either. No seriously - I still make a sound when I fart.)

I have the Desire. Tis a great phone, the internet is quick (when the reception is good, sadly on Orange it's not the best.) I have Panther 30 which is unlimited internet, emails and texts for £30 a month plus add ons. The Desire is a good looking phone, good internally and externally. My only quibble is the battery life - you will (if you're like me) probably use it a lot, looking at SWF and stuff, so the battery life will barely last a day, but I was so excited when I first got it that I didn't wait for it to charge up properly before using it, so that is probably my fault. The Apps are ok, I also have an iPod Touch, and I would say I prefer iTunes to the Android Market, but there's enough on there to keep you interested, and because Androind is multi-platform, I do think they'll overtake Apple for number of apps. You get more FREE apps with Android anyway, so that's a plus, but if I could go back to July when I bought it, I would consider getting the iPhone 4 instead. The camera is pretty decent though on the Desire, can't fault it. Needs more internal memory though, my phone's nearly full, although I haven't yet learnt how to put stuff on the SD card, so again, my fault. If you don't want an iPhone, which is the only other phone I'd go for, then you can't go wrong with the Desire. Quite a few reviews on the internet have the Desire down as the best phone on the market at the moment, and I would say that's pretty accurate.

They must love it when they come to England, a trip to Battersea dogs home is like a walk through takeaway.

Bugger!

No, because of a lack of punctuation. In its present state, that broken sentence is nothing more than a statement.

If I go to a club with one toilet cubicle, and am desperate for a poo, and it is urine soaked with no bog seat and no toilet paper, can I sue the club for a breach of my human rights? Does the lady that sells seas shells on the sea shore ever make any money, when sea shells can be picked up off the beach for free? In these modern times, we have untold choices for entertainment, more TV channels than we could ever want, more channels online, Internet, PCs, Games Consoles, Books that are a dime a dozen, a wealth of DVD's that cost very little and othe entertainment platforms such as MP3/4 players. Why, then, am I still bored of an evening? Am I more likely to be slapped in England or America if I ask a girl to let me see her fanny?

T'internet. She, Norwich fan, on BBC 606 messageboards, five years ago when they were proper messageboards, me, Saints fan, bored at work. Swapped emails for random footy chat and discovered we had lots in common. Pulled a bird in a club a few weeks later, we went out for a few weeks, had to decide who to go for, chose my missus. Missus happy, ex not. Ex moved to Plymouth, not seen her since. I made the right choice IMO.

Portsmouth then. :-) You're right to keep it quiet.

If I farted into a Dyson vacuum cleaner, with it switched on, would my fart be kept in the capture bin? Where do pretty ladies go during the day? If I hate people that hate people that are lactose intolerant, would I be lactose intolerant intolerant intolerant?

I have IBS, so I have to wear a man nappy all hours of the day and night.

How could you kill them, they're so cute. Although Golden Retriever puppies are equally cute, and grow into better looking dogs. Sod it, do away with them.

Harvester in Old Windsor at 16, French Brothers Boats in Windsor age 18-22, Various Temp jobs inc. UPS and Audi at 21 after dropping out of uni, London Underground age 22 to present day. Not a massive job resume but I'm trained for NOTHING!

Never lived in Southampton, much to my chagrin. Born in Ascot, Raised and lived in Old Windsor, sent to boarding schools in Oxford and Wokingham, back to Old Windsor, Chiswick for 3 drunken months, Old Windsor again and now living in Egham. My parents did have a static caravan in Shorefield near New Milton, so I had many holidays in the Hampshire/Dorset area when growing up.

Is this the Lounge or the Muppet Show? Oh, the Lounge, well I'll be sensible then. I'm going to propose to my missus soon, but want to do it perfectly, have the ring, choose the setting and choose the scenario. She's already moaned at me that I haven't proposed anyway, so I know she'll say yes. (Which, if anything, could mean I can be a cheapskate and do it whilst watching Eastenders or something, and save myself a fortune. My best mate did it in Browns in Windsor, no ring, no idea, no bending on one knee, he was just a bit drunk. She said yes. I think he regrets it now. Incidentally, I've been with my missus for 4 and a half years, is there any time in a relationship when it becomes "weird" that we haven't got engaged? My mate did it after 2 years of his relationship, and thinks it's odd that I haven't yet proposed.

We have to turn a pretty big corner to be second favourites, but I do think we'll click and set off on a run. Frees/loans would help us achieve that, we may have the strongest first team on paper but the squad needs attacking additions, especially with Lallana out longish term.

Move on yes, but we won't forget it. At the end of the season, if we fail to go up, we'll be remembering how shyte we were in September. Sadly.

Lambert. Penalty.

An average player but always tried his best. Aside from the wages, I'd personally have kept Thomas.

I'm too young. Ergo I'm going to murder all you lucky bastards old enough to remember it first hand. NOW I'm in a grumpy.

Chronic masturbator. Money ruined football. Which meant fans paid more and wanted more answers. Imo.

Not with cashback, but I once lost £100, used a cash machine, withdrew a ton, took my card back and walked out. Ten minutes later I was stood at the bar of the pub, looking in my wallet and wondering where my ficking money was. I've never run so fast back to the cash machine but alas it was gone. Someone said that after 30 seconds it gets swallowed back in again, but I never got it credited to my account, so some lucky bastard must've had an excellent night. Ok, not technology's fault, but I hate technology so I give it the blame.

Supermarkets drive me mental. It is for this reason that the missus and I do a monthly shop instead of a weekly shop. Bread, milk and fruit are purchased from the convenience mart down our road, the rest gets chucked in the freezer and cupboards.

I've already put promotion out of my mind. THe squad's not strong enough as we've seen from Lallana's injury and Barnard's suspension. If it does happen, i'll be surprised and delighted, but I won't be suicidal if we don't make it. You don't become a bad side overnight though, I reckon we're cursed.

I'll be at Newbury Races on Saturday, spunking large amounts of money on lame, underperforming donkeys. Which, at the moment, beats being at SMS and spunking my money on lame, underperforming donkeys.