Whitey Grandad

We drive in France a lot, almost always from Portsmouth, with and without a caravan. It all depends how much driving you want to do. Calais to Paris alone is 3 hours (180 miles), what's Buckinghamshire to Dover? Morning ferries from Portsmouth at about 08:00 arrive around 15:00 local and you can be south of the Loire by 19:00. Poitiers is another hour or so further on. Overnight is ok but you won't get much sleep and the cabins are more expensive, ok if there are two drivers. My son is over there at the moment with his 4 kids and he chose Portsmouth-Cherbourg for the fast ferry but it's two hours just to the bottom of the Cotentin at Avranches. Whatever you choose it's a lot of driving but the roads are much emptier than the UK. Don't forget your car equipment: Breathalyser - you must have one unused in the car which normally means a pack of 2 in case you need to use one. You can get these on the ferry, about £5. Read warning triangle - most cars have these already. Yellow hi-vis jackets - must be one for each occupant and they must be carried inside the car, not the boot. you must be able to put them on before getting out of the vehicle. Don't ignore the speed limits. 50kph in towns which starts at the place name by the road and ends when the place name is crossed out by a red line. Motorways 110/130kph. The lower limit is for when it's raining which is defined by whether your wipers are moving or not. I have heard rumours that you can be timed between toll booths so be aware. Radar detectors are illegal as are satellite guides that list their locations (this point is debatable but best not to risk it).

I can't understand a word he says, so I don't even bother.

Spot on.

What a load of rubbish, no ambition whatsoever. They should get no points for that.

Then it goes to the home team

I think MOTD is available from Mondays, or something.

I think the 'clear daylight' business goes back to the guidance from a few seasons ago. This changes more often than the wind.

I think it's change of pace that we need, all the top clubs can suddenly turn it on when necessary. Of course, that means you need some fast players in your squad to begin with.

But who's going to pay for the tart's ticket?

He's only one injury away from a starting place, we're paying his wages, let's keep him.

I can't stand Team GB either, makes me cringe with embarrassment at the naffness of it. I don't like pedants but the correct term is portmanteau words. Throw up your bile at this lot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_portmanteaus

Be careful what you wish for...

Less the VAT

Can't really complain. There have been five days and we end up four overs short. There was plenty of time to get the runs.

People at the baggage reclaim carousel who have to stand right next to the belt. Stand back you p!llocks and let everyone see what's coming. And don't blame me if I swipe you with my luggage when heaving it off the belt.

Was that the last?

There's a 'me' if you look carefully enough

I was told that if the parked car was your side then you gave way.

Good setup, building a great squad, would not be surprised to see us top half, quite complimentary really.

I never buy any extras and have not done so for several years. My daughter came with me yesterday. She used to be a regular until she kept getting pregnant and wanted to get a replica shirt for her two young boys aged 1 and 5. At £40 a go she quickly lost interest.

Interesting read, thanks. Now all we need to do is learn how to clear a corner.

Replacement for Jason P.

All a bit of a mess, really.

Indeed. The real question is why so many defenders completely misread the flight of the ball and missed their headers. The midget seemed to read it ok.

Witch hazel?