John Cool

Normal for relegation scraps at The Dell, toilet optional...

Gonna paint our Johnsons Gonna paint 'em good We aint braggin' We're gonna coat our wood! (maybe too silly)

I picked MacDonald for his impressive scoring rate for Celtic (forgot he's gone to Boro). Hats off to Kevin Davies for his success with Bolton after he was rather harshly cast off by Saints.

Matt Mills and Gregorz Raziak both had decent games for Reading today, both worthy of consideration for an ex-Saints eleven, unlike Nigel Quashie who I seem to have mentally blocked out for some reason...

My attempt at an ex-Saints team with (mostly) current Premier League players .. Ex-Saints XI GK - Paul Smith (Nottm Forest) LB - Wayne Bridge (Man City) CB - Fitz Hall (QPR) CB - Danny Higginbotham (Stoke) RB - Chris Baird (Fulham) LM - Gareth Bale (Tottenham) CM - Andrew Surman (Wolves) CM - Rory Delap (Stoke) RM - Theo Walcott (Arsenal) AT - Peter Crouch (Tottenham) AT - Scott MacDonald (Celtic) Subs: Kevin Davies (Bolton) James Beattie (Stoke) Kevin Phillips (Birmingham) Ricardo Fuller (Stoke) Kenwyne Jones (Sunderland) Rudi Skacel (Larissa) Maik Taylor (Birmingham)

To the tune of Knees Up Mother Brown... Oxlade-Chamberlain, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Alexander, Alexander Oxlade-Chamberlain!

We love Adam Lallana We love Ricke too We love Kelvin Davis But Pompey we hate you

No prizes for subtlety or wit, but easy to sing... Oh when the Skates go f***ing bust Oh when the Skates go f***ing bust I wanna be in that number When the Skates go f***ing bust!

The hand in the picture is Harry Enfield's, not Rupert Lowe's

Instead of chanting "dodgy keeper" ... Dodgy owners!

To the tune of Motorhead's Ace of Spades... If you like to gamble, then Pompey is your team They win some, lose some, it's all the same to them Their pleasure is to play, they don't care if they cannot pay I don't share their greed, the only thing I need is The Saint Mary's The Saint Mary's

A nice simple one to the tune of Go West.. You're skint, and your sheik's a fake You're skint, and your sheik's a fake You're skint, and your sheik's a fake You're skint, and your sheik's a fake

Home to Chelsea

I'd like to hear this Motown classic but I think it's probably a bit too difficult to sing after 4 pints of Stella.

I rate our chances of progression as 50-50 - that's not boring! Oh and yes, Weane is a Kanker.

Did anyone else notice the commentator on Solent start to (accidently) spoonerise Rickie Lambert's name? Made me think of attempting to name a Houthsampton Cootball Flub all-time Spoonerism XI... GK: Sheeter Pilton LB: Brain Widge CB: Real Nuddock CB: Niss Crickle RB: Dark Menace LM: Tat Le Missier CM: Miss Crarsden CM: Hick Gnomes RM: Perry Taine AT: Licky Rambert AT: Chick Mannon Manager: Hen Gloddle Chairman: Loopert Row I'll cet my goat...

Antonio's goal against Brizzle is the coolest!

Leeds 1 Saints 3

Pards says put your best frock on http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_div_2/8398141.stm

Having watched Saints beat Tranny 6-1 in the League Cup a few years back, the same scorline would be cool, but I'm not greedy, 5-1 will be just fine :-)

good quality (the vid and the goals :-) )

Our current away form is awesome http://stats.football365.com/dom/ENG/D2/aform.html Keep it up lads, no pressure :-)

I have a strange feeling in my prostate it's going to be Liverpool at St. Mary's.

I think we should mostly stick with the current squad.

Don't care who we get [inhales].... If anyone should ask Say we're painted For as long as this life lasts We are painted Why else would you be here right now And you know we'll still be here tomorrow (apologies to Todd Rundgren)